Hangman
by gothina234
Summary: Reid has been taken by an UNSUB who wants to play a game of Hangman with the BAU. With the rope round Reid's neck, will the BAU win the game?
1. Chapter 1

**This has been dancing around my head for a while and I finally decided to write it. I am finishing a majority of my other stories so decided now was a good time to start it. **

**I'm not sure if anyone has done anything like this but I just needed to get it out of my head. **

**I don't own Criminal minds, CBS does. **

**Enjoy and I hope that you review as feedback is brilliant and helps.**

**All mistakes are my own.**

Hotch felt the morning feeling slowly fade away as he made his way to his office. He walked in to see the familiar vacant desks, he smiled knowing it would be at least another hour before his team would be in. The smiled soon faded when he noticed a satchel hanging on one of the chairs. More specifically Reid's chair.

Hotch walked over to the desk and touched the mug of coffee, he frowned when he noticed it was ice cold. Hotch felt panic rise as he noticed all of Reid's possessions were still at his desk but Reid himself was nowhere to be seen.

Hotch placed his suitcase by Reid's desk and made his way down into the parking lot. He had parked on a different level to where Reid usually parked. He turned the corner and stopped dead at what he saw. Reid's car was there and the front windscreen was smashed and cracked.

Hotch pulled out his phone and dialled Reid's number. Every ringing noise causing him to worry. The ringing stopped and Hotch expected to hear Reid's voicemail message. He almost stopped breathing at the message that came.

"To the members of the BAU. I suppose you were expecting to hear Dr Reid's voice, I'm happy to disappoint you. You should be proud of Dr Reid he put up a very good fight but not good enough. Enjoy the present I left in the front seat of Dr Reid's car" the voice, clearly a man's voice, mocked.

Hotch closed his phone slowly and stood frozen for a moment. He pulled open his phone and called for a forensic team to come and examine the scene. Hotch then noticed Rossi's car pull into a space across the parking area.

"Rossi" Hotch shouted.

Rossi turned round and noticed Hotch standing near Reid's car. He could tell by the look on Hotch's face that something was not right. He ran over and stopped dead when he noticed the windscreen.

"What the hell happened? Where is Reid?" Rossi asked Hotch.

"Someone has taken Reid. I called his phone and his voicemail message was from the guy who took him. He said that Reid put up a good fight and to enjoy the present he left in the front seat" Hotch explained quickly.

Rossi could tell that Hotch was extremely worried about the youngest of the team. Rossi knew how Hotch was feeling as he was feeling the exact same way.

"I called a forensic unit down here" Hotch told him still in a unfocused state.

"What present did he leave?" Rossi asked Hotch. He needed to bring Hotch back to a focused state of mind.

Hotch knew he should wait for the forensic team but he needed to know what the unsub had left. He pulled off his tie and used it to touch the handle of the car. He pulled the handle and found it was unlocked. He pulled open the door and saw a small manilla coloured envelope with the word 'BAU' in black ink.

Hotch carefully opened the envelope still using his tie to avoid leaving any prints on it. He looked inside and looked back up to Rossi with a expression that screamed trouble. Rossi walked over and looked inside the envelope.

A small memory car placed in a small sealed plastic bag. The other item was Reid's silver watch coated with blood that with no question belonged to the young genius.

"Tell the team to get in as fast as they can. We need to know what is on this now" Hotch ordered with his eyes still staring at the bloody watch.

**Reid**

Reid didn't want to open his eyes. The memories of his attack still piercing his memory.

_**The previous night**_

_**Reid sat at his desk and waved goodbye to Hotch as he left the bullpen for that evening. He was still going through some of the reports that had been added to his pile. He didn't mind though. His apartment had felt lonely for the last weeks, he had even considered getting a pet but had decided against it.**_

_**Reid went through two more files before a headache began to emerge. He looked in his satchel and cursed himself as he remembered he had not put any aspirin in his bag that morning. He looked on Morgan's desk and found none. He sighed as he started to make his way down to his car. He knew he has some in the glove compartment he just hadn't really wanted to go to his car to get some.**_

_**He took the elevator to his parking level and made his way to his car. He unlocked the car and sat down in the driver's seat and leaned across the seat to the glove compartment.**_

_**"Good evening Dr. Reid" a voice said from the backseat.**_

_**Reid tried to grab for his gun but panicked when he felt something wrap around his throat, Reid realised it was piece of rope round his throat. Reid wheezed and grunted as he felt himself yanked backwards. He struggled against the force pulling him backwards. He kicked his legs up and kicked the windscreen. He faintly heard the glass smash. He yelped weakly as he was pulled forcefully into the backseat.**_

_**"Stop struggling. The game has only just begun, your going to need your strength" his attacker whispered in his ear before he felt something grab his hair. Reid tried to fight back but felt nothing but pain as his attakcer smashed his head into the door.**_

Reid finally opened his eyes and whimpered slightly at the pain in his head and the tight feeling around his neck. He looked around and finally took in his surroundings. He froze when he realised what he was in. He was a clear box about the size of a coffin, he also noticed he was in small basement. He was slightly relieved when he realised he hadn't been bound. He pushed up against the lid of glass box but screamed in fustration when he couldn't budge it. It had been locked. He noticed five holes in the lid. They were in no doubt to ensure he had oxygen. He noticed that his head had been bleeding from the blow the unsub had dealt him.

"You are finally awake. I was beginning to think that I had hit you too hard" a man said before standing above the box. He could tell that it was man but he couldn't see his face. The unsub was wearing a white mask with a single black tear drawn on the mask.

"Please...please let me go" Reid rasped before grimacing at how painful it was to speak.

"Why would I let one of my players go? Your team hasn't played my game yet" the unsub told Reid. Reid hit his palm against the glass lid causing the unsub to back away slightly.

"Leave my team alone" Reid rasped again but slightly louder.

"Its nice to see you have some fight in you. Your team are also players, they have to play the game to get you back" he said again almost as if he was talking to a child.

"What game?" Reid asked fearfully. He didn't want to be an unsub's pawn in some sick game.

"Tell me Dr. Reid. Have you ever played Hangman?"

**So what did you think? **

**Feedback welcomed.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all so much for the reviews and adds. I never thought that this would get a response so amazing from you all. You are all brilliant and amazing. **

**Thank you! You have no idea how happy I am right now.**

**I already had this chapter typed up. No internet equals a hell of a lot of writing being done. **

**Enjoy this chapter and again reviews are great. **

**All mistakes are my own.**

Hotch and Rossi stood back and watched the forensic team go over Reid's car. A member of the forensic team came over and told them that no prints were visible on the envelope and the blood had been send for analysis. Hotch took the envelope from the forensic officer, Rossi and Hotch stared at the envelope. A screech of tires brought them from their daze. They turned round to see Garcia running over to them.

"Oh my god! Where is Reid? What happened?" she asked before taking a deep breath to try calm herself.

"Garcia, I need you to focus. A memory card was left and I need to know what is on it. We need to go to your office" Hotch ordered. Garcia blinked a few times before nodding her head.

"Dave, I need you to stay here. I also want you to text the team and tell them to go straight to Garcia's office" Hotch ordered the senior agent. Rossi nodded and turned back to the scene.

Garcia and Hotch made their way to her office quickly. Hotch noticed that Garcia was shaking slightly, he didn't blame her. He didn't know how he was keeping himself in check. Last time Reid had been kidnapped he had had Gideon to keep him straight when he blamed himself for not preparing Reid for situations like these. He was the one everyone looked to for leadership, he had to stay calm.

Hotch handed Garcia the memory card, he watched as she placed it into a slot in her computer. She hesitated on pressing the play button, she wasn't sure she wanted to see what was on the card. She jumped slightly when Morgan and Emily walked through the door.

"What is going on? Rossi told us to come straight here" Emily and Morgan asked.

"Someone has taken Reid, we found signs of a struggle in his car and his voicemail message has been changed. The unsub addressed it to members of the BAU. He left a memory card and-" Hotch stopped not really wanting to tell them about the Reid's bloody watch and the blood in the car.

"And what?" Morgan said.

"Reid's watch was in an envelope and there was blood on it. There was also some blood in the backseat" Hotch explained, he looked at Garcia and saw her lip quiver slightly. She closed her eyes for a moment before turning to her screen. Hotch knew she was trying to hide her emotions from the team. Emily's face remained stoic but her eyes gave away how she was truely feeling. She was scared and worried about Reid and Hotch saw it.

Morgan had clenched his fists, he wanted to kill the unsub who took Reid. He wanted to hit something but he controlled himself. His baby girl Garcia was fragile right now and he needed to be here for her.

"Garcia. What is on the card?" Hotch asked as he turned away from Morgan and Emily.

"It's a video file."

"Play it" Hotch told her. Garcia clicked the file and the video came up on a bigger screen above her.

The video played for a few minutes. It was clear that the camera had been placed in the back and and showed the backseat and driver's seat. They all felt panic in their hearts as Reid unlocked his car and slid into the driver seat. Reid sighed for moment before reaching across to his glove compartment. It was then all hell broke loose. They froze as a voice spoke.

"Good evening Dr Reid" the voice said.

They watched all frozen as a figure leapt foward and wrapped something round Reid's neck. They tried to see the unsub's face but their hopes were dashed when they saw he had a mask on.

"No" Garcia sobbed.

They all winced when they saw the unsub pull Reid backwards, it hurt them to hear Reid yelp and wheeze as he was pulled backwards. They watched Reid kick the windscreen. The unsub pulled Reid into the backseat so that Reid was on his stomach on the seats. The unsub pulled Reid with the rope around Reid's neck. He whispered something in Reid's ear that the team couldn't hear. Garcia whimpered when the unsub smashed Reid's head into the door.

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch" Morgan growled.

The video continued. The unsub took the watch off Reid's limp wrist and put it down next to him.

"What is he doing?" Emily asked as she watched the unsub grab Reid's jaw and turn it side to side.

"I think he is studying Reid" Hotch said. He couldn't see any of the unsub's features so he couldn't profile what the unsub's intentions might be.

Garcia jumped when the Unsub turned to face the camera. His mask making him look inhuman.

"Did you all enjoy the show? Don't worry, Dr Reid will be alive when you next see him but for how long depends whether you win the first round of our game. I'll be contacting you soon. Let the games begin" the unsub laughed although it was slightly muffled. The unsub reached over to the camera and switched it off.

Garcia couldn't stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. All she could picture was the fear in Reid's eyes as the unsub had practically strangled him with the piece of rope. She refused to watch her junior g-man die. She had done that and it had been one of the most horrific things she had to watch. Morgan came up to her and gave her a small hug.

"We will get him back Garcia. I promise" he told her as he wiped the tears from her cheeks. JJ came into Garcia's room and immediately knew that something bad had happened to Reid.

"Rossi told me something had happened to Reid. Who took him?" she said slightly out of breath.

"He was attacked in his car. The unsub left a video file on a memory card showing the attack...he wants us to play a game and Reid only stays alive as long as we win the first round" Morgan grimly told her.

JJ was close to losing it but recent events had made her stronger, she had to remain calm. She was no use to Reid if she was losing it.

"Sir! There is an email. It says for the attention of BAU. I think its the unsub. It has a link" Garcia almost shouted as she pointed to her screen.

"Open the link" Hotch gently ordered.

They all gathered around the screen as she pressed the link. Two small windows popped up on the screen. The larger one was showing a basement while the other showed them.

"Sir, this is a live feed. The webcam automatically connected" Garcia whispered. Hotch nodded and turned to face the screen as the unsub walked into view. Rossi walked through the door and over to the screen. He frowned when the unsub came into his view. It was then the muffled voice spoke.

"Hello everyone. I am hoping that you all watched my capture of Dr Reid. He has more fight in him than I thought. Now to reveal my little game. It is somewhat of a classic but I decided to make it...better. Are you familiar with the game Hangman Agent Hotchner. A simple yes or no is all I want to hear. Don't speak unless I tell you you can. This feed is untraceable so don't even try to locate me" the unsub said, his last sentence almost an order. Garcia knew she couldn't trace the feed without the unsub seeing, she hated the bastard for hurting her Reid.

"Yes" Hotch said.

"Wonderful. I told you he would be Dr Reid. I'm sorry, my manners are horrible. Say hello Dr Reid" the unsub almost laughed, he walked behind the camera and turned it slowly.

Garcia covered her mouth with her hand to stop her gasp.

The camera was now focused on a very heavy breathing Reid standing on chair with his hands bound behind his back. They all focused on the noose that was round Reid's neck. One move from the unsub and Reid would be hanged. Hotch looked at his young agent and realised that Reid had been crying and was hurt. He couldn't miss the trail of blood down Reid's head. They heard the slight rattle of the chair and Reid's body shook with fear.

The unsub walked over to Reid and stood in front of him. Reid's eyes widened when the unsub produced a knife from behind his back. He raised it to Reid's cheek and and slowly cut him. Reid hissed as the cut was made. Hotch noticed that the man was very tall.

"Say hello!" the unsub shouted.

"Hello" Reid whimpered as he looked into camera. The cut to his face now bleeding a crimson colour down his cheek.

Garcia fiercly wiped tears from her face, she didn't want the unsub to see her crying. She swore to God she was going to nail this bastard and kill him.

"You have a time limit to guess the word that will save Dr Reid. Every word is connected to him. Be careful though. Once my virtual hangman is hanged it's game over. Dr Reid will die because of your failure of my game. Any questions?" the unsub asked as he continued to stare at Reid who was shaking at the focus.

"Why are you doing this?" Hotch asked, the more he knew about the unsub, the better chance they had of finding Reid.

"FBI agents play games everyday. You act like gods and go after smaller people. I thought it was time to play a game with you. I think we should get started. Oh.. I almost forgot" the unsub said as he clapped his hands. He walked out of view for a moments.

"You don't have to do that...I'll be quiet" Reid half rasped, half whimpered as he was focused on the unsub.

The unsub walked back over to Reid and placed duct tape over Reid's mouth. Reid whimpered as the tape was placed over his mouth. The unsub gave Reid's cut cheek and small slap before letting out a small laugh.

"Now we can begin."

**I hope you like that chapter. Feedback and reviews welcome**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone.**

**I want to thank you all again for the wonderful reviews and all the story adds. You are the most amazing readers a writer could have. Thank you. **

**I hope this chapter is okay but I don't think I did it very well as I have annoying headache but I wanted to update so decided to type this up. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid tried to keep his breathing under control as he was stood on the chair, the unsub looked at him and gave Reid a horrible feeling. The unsub turned round and faced the camera again. Reid looked over to the screen and saw his entire team, he knew everyone was trying to remain calm and stoic but he knew they were all scared for him. He saw the watery edge to Garcia's eyes and knew this was difficult to her.

Why was the unsub doing this to him? Why was he torturing and making the team play the sick game?

"You have one guess and if you get it wrong then you all get to see Dr. Reid struggle as his life leaves him. I will also  
>allow you to have a clue if you ask but if you need and want the clue then Dr. Reid will have to pay the price. I have many ways he can pay" the unsub said.<p>

Reid had no doubt that the bastard was smiling under the mask.

"Are you ready Agents?" the unsub asked before walking over to his laptop. Reid noticed Hotch hesitate for a moment, he knew that Hotch didn't want to say yes in case they got it wrong and condemned him to death. He wished that the team were not being made to make the decisions. He didn't want them to feel this way.

"We are" Rossi told the unsub. Reid's profiling skills didn't miss the slight shakiness of his voice.

Reid saw the unsub press a button on his laptop, a small window opened to reveal a timer set for a minute and a half. Reid froze when he saw the time.

**Is that all the time he is giving them?** Reid thought.

A small line of smaller little lines appeared at the bottom of the small screen window. Reid knew they were for the letters.

"Go" the unsub laughed as he hit another button causing the timer to start counting watched the team as they quickly looked at each other, each unsure at first of what letter to say.

"A" Hotch said first.

Reid let out a small muffled moan into the duct tape when a line appeared on the screen. Reid was almost hypnotised by the timer as it went down, every second making the rope round his neck feel more real.

"E" Garcia blurted out, she covered her mouth as she realised what she had done. Reid looked at the screen quickly and saw three 'E's appear.

**'Garcia, you brilliant angel'** Reid thought hopefully.

"I" Hotch said again, another line appeared connected and was then connected to the other line. The timer hit one minute and another line appeared on the screen under the first line. Reid wanted to know why the hell the other line had appeared.

Reid suddenly realised that he knew what the answer was. Reid tried to balance himself on the chair better but immediately regretted the move. The chair shook violently and Reid only just managed regain his balance. Reid closed his eyes. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to be somewhere safe. He wanted to be with his team.

Reid opened his eyes and realised that the team had said two more letters, he didn't know which ones though. He calmed himself and looked at the screen. He needed to focus on them. Any way he could contact the team was good.

The timer ran down to fourty seconds.

"Would you like a clue? You don't seem to be doing very well for the first word in our game" the unsub mocked to the screen.

Reid decided pain was worth it if it allowed him to live. He could handle it, he knew he could. He would be giving the team more time to find him. He didn't want to die. Not here in a basement with a deranged unsub. He wanted to grow old and enjoy life.

Reid nodded his head to the camera, he moaned behind the duct tape. The team all looked puzzled before they understood what Reid wanted.

**Please understand** he thought.

"We want the clue. I'm so sorry Reid" Hotch said before he looked over to Reid sadly. Reid closed his eyes and felt relief rush through him. They had understood him.

"Reid's choice of music" the unsub told the team. It dawned on Reid that this man must have been following him for a long time. Reid wondered how much more the man knew.

Reid looked at the team, they all stood for a few moments. Emily's eyes went wide before she whispered in Hotch's ear.

The timer ran down to fifteen seconds.

"The answer is Beethoven" Hotch said quickly.

The unsub walked over to the laptop and pressed the enter button. The timer stopped causing Reid to smile slightly although it was restricted due to the tape. Reid began to shake again as the unsub walked beside him and moved a small step near to Reid's chair. He unwrapped the noose from Reid's neck, he let the rope swing to the side before he grabbed Reid by the throat.

Reid wheezed as the unsub pulled him off the chair, the rough hand round his throat bruising his already raw throat. Reid grunted as the unsub kicked the back of his knees and he fell to the floor. The unsub moved his hand to the back of Reid's neck and pushed his neck down roughly.

"That was just a poor performance from you. Firstly Dr. Reid has ruined the first round of my game, I don't like it when people give permission to be hurt. It takes the thrill out of it" the unsub said angrily at the camera before moving his hand into Reid's hair and yanking his head back. Reid yelped as he felt the unwanted movement.

"You also needed a clue. I'm rather disappointed with the famous BAU. You are just pathetic. I thought that you loved to play games with people's lives. I'm rambling anyway. I do believe it is time for Dr. Reid's punishment" the unsub taunted before he let go of Reid and stood in front of him.

Reid looked at the unsub, he could see the unsub's eyes through the slits in the mask. Reid instantly found himself afraid as he saw the pure evil in the man's eyes. He saw seeing a killer's eyes.

**BAU**

Hotch looked on helplessly as he watched the unsub stand in front of Reid.

Hotch knew it was all his fault, he had asked for the clue thinking that it was what Reid wanted. Had he misread Reid's actions?

Hotch looked at the rest of the team and could see that they were all barely holding on. He looked back to the screen when he heard a small sniffle, he looked to Reid and saw that he was now crying.

**'We are going to find you'** Hotch thought. In some insane way he hoped Reid had heard the thought.

The unsub turned round slightly, he quickly whipped back round and threw a punch into Reid's head causing the young genius to fall to the floor in pain. Reid moaned into the tape and Hotch knew what had happened. The unsub had hit him in the spot that was already injured. The unsub grabbed Reid's jaw to make him face him.

"That was for telling them to do it" the unsub almost spat. He pushed Reid back to the floor and walked out of shot for a few seconds. He came back into the shot and stared at the camera.

"I told you that there would be a price for every clue. As each round progresses the price will get higher" the unsub  
>explained before he held a small object up to the screen. Rossi immediately knew what the object was.<p>

A cigar cutter.

"The clue's price will be Dr. Reid's little finger."

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I will be updating again tomorrow. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone.**

**Thank you all again for all the alerts and adds and all the reviews. I absolutely loved all the reviews and you are amazing readers. **

**I hope this chapter is okay, every time I post a chapter I get really nervous. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own  
><strong>

Reid stopped moving as he took in the unsub's words. Reid had never thought the price would be so high so early in the game. The worst he thought would be a few cuts with the knife.

"Remember. You wanted the clue. This is your fault" the unsub said coldly to the camera before he turned around to look at Reid. He cocked his head for a moment before he knelt beside Reid.

Reid writhed and struggled to try and get away from the unsub as the light reflected of the silver cigar cutter. Reid kicked his leg to try and kick the unsub but failed as the unsub grabbed him and twisted him onto his stomach. Reid grunted as the unsub sat on his lower body. Reid looked up at the screen and wanted to cry at what he saw.

Garcia was crying as she looked at the screen, a line of black making its way down her cheek as he make-up ran. JJ had a look of horror on her face as she watched. Rossi and Emily had fear in their eyes but they maintained their composure but Reid could tell by the fear in their eyes that they were nearly about to break. Reid looked at Hotch and Morgan and saw the panicked expressions. They thought it was their fault.

Reid wanted so much to tell them that it wasn't. They had done the right thing.

"Time to to pay Dr. Reid" the unsub laughed.

Reid doubled his effort to struggle as he felt the icy cold metal touch far down his finger. The unsub held the cutter still for a moment before he applied pressure.

Reid screamed as the cigar cutter started to cut off his little finger. He tried desperately to ignore the pain but he  
>couldn't. Reid couldn't breath properly as he felt a warm liquid run down his hand. Reid felt one more last tug before he screeched in pain as he felt another fierce pain where his little finger was. Reid breathed heavily thorough his nose as he tried to ease the pain.<p>

He wanted to rip the duct tape away, he hated not being able to speak or breathe properly.

Reid felt tears run down his face before dark spots began to fill his vision. Reid jumped slightly when he saw something bloody dropped near his head. He let out another small sob when he realised it was the majority of his little finger. Reid let the darkness take him. The darkness felt safe and calming.

**Anywhere is better than here** he thought.

**BAU**

Hotch watched as Reid passed out. Hotch blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. Reid didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve the pain and torture that the unsub was putting him through. Hotch watched as the unsub grabbed Reid's hair and yanked his head up. He let Reid's head drop to the floor when he noticed Reid's unconcious state before picking up Reid's finger and holding it in his gloved hand. He got off Reid and walked over to the camera. He kept the finger hidden in his hand.

"It seems Dr. Reid is taking a nap. I suppose it is for the best. I want him nice and strong for our game. I'll see you all again in two hours" the unsub said happily before the screen went blank. Garcia hit a few keys on her keyboard before she let herself cry properly.

Hotch kneeled down on the floor next to Garcia and enveloped her in a hug, he held her tightly as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"He-he doesn't deserve any of this" Garcia cried as into his shoulder. She gripped onto his shoulder before she withdrew and grabbed her phone. She hit the call button.

"Garcia, what are doing?" Hotch asked as he saw Garcia on her cellphone. She held up a finger telling him to wait.

The rest of the team all looked at Garcia wondering what she was doing.

"Kevin, did you get anything?" she asked hopefully into the phone. Her face dropped at the answer she recieved.

"Keep trying" she snapped before disconnecting the phone.

"Garcia, what did you do?" Morgan asked as he went to her side and put his hand on her shoudler to try and comfort her.

"I couldn't track him without him seeing me do it. I texted Kevin with the phone under the table when the unsub was focused on Reid. Kevin couldn't track the signal but when he contacts us again we can be ready" Garcia told them.

"Garcia, you are amazing" JJ smiled sadly.

"We need to look at Reid's life and see if we find anything. This guy clearly doesn't like people of authority, especially  
>the FBI. We need to know why he targeted Reid" Hotch told the team.<p>

"Previous cases?" Rossi told Hotch.

"We need to get started now. Garcia I want you to get Kevin to help you track this bastard" Hotch ordered before looking at Garcia.

"Yes sir" Garcia said before she began to type fiercly on her computer.

Hotch walked out of the room with the rest of the team, he knew they didn't have a lot to go on but they needed to start somewhere. They had two hours before they had to play the next round. Two hours before they could see Reid again.

**Basement - Unsub**

The unsub lifted the young genius back into the clear box that he had created. He had wrapped up the nub of where he had severed the finger. He locked the box and stared at Reid. He watched as his chest rose up and down. The game was far from over and the unsub smiled as he thought of all the things he was going to do with the young man until the game ended.

He couldn't wait to watch as the light left the young man's eyes.

He hoped Dr. Reid's team enjoyed their extra prize. He had certainly loved getting it.

**So what do you think?**

**Loved to know in the reviews**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone. **

**Hope you like the new chapter and thank you again for reviews and story adds. I must say that I never thought I would get such a great response with this fanfic. **

**Thank you all again and I know I am evil for taking Reid's finger.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid felt a shiver run through him. He decided to push himself past the barrier of darkness that was trying to stop him from waking up. Reid's eyes fluttered for a moment before they opened sluggishly. He looked up and noticed that he was back in the box. He then felt something wrong. He also felt that the tape had been removed.

He lifted his hand up and saw a slightly bloody bandage on the nub where his little finger should have been. He felt the panic rise in his body but managed to surpress it. He couldn't look weak to the unsub. He stared at the spot for a few minutes as he processed what had been done to him.

"Missing something" the unsub laughed as he appeared above Reid.

"Leave me alone" Reid growled weakly. He didn't want to be near the unsub, he wanted the team to come and rescue him. He knew without any solid leads it was going to take them time.

"Stop being such a little child. It was only your little finger, I had considered taking something more precious to you. I suggest you stop wining like a brat" the unsub scowled.

Reid didn't like the tone of his voice, the unsub was treating him like a small child. He didn't want to think about what the unsub had thought about taking. Or what he might still take?

Reid turned away from the unsub and looked out of the side of the clear box. It was the fact he didn't know what the unsub looked like that scared him.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!" the unsub screamed before he hit the side of the box with the handle of his knife. Reid jumped and pushed himself further into the small box. He winced when he hit his injured hand against the side.

"I'm sorry" Reid yelled back not wanting to anger the unsub further.

"I have two hours to kill till the next round of the game. Tell me Dr. Reid, how was like to dig your own grave" the unsub asked as he twirled the blade in his hand.

"How do you know about that?" Reid asked, he cursed himself when he realised how fearful his voice sounded.

"I've done my research. I know you more than you know yourself. Trust me Dr. Reid, I know some of the secrets you keep from the team. The secrets you hide deep down. Now answer my question."

"It was difficult but my team rescued me before he could hurt me anymore. The same thing they are going to do this time" Reid answered back.

Reid was prepared for the unsub to shout at him but what happened next surprised him. The unsub stepped back and laughed loudly. He laughed for about twenty seconds before he calmed back down and leaned over the box again.

"Dr. Reid, I will promise you this. You and your pretty little neck will be hanging from that rope. Your team is not smart enough to find me. They are missing their biggest asset" the unsub said calmly before walking away from the box.

Reid didn't say anything back, his mind too focused on the promise that the unsub had made him. His eyes unconciously focused on the rope that was attached to a beam. He focused on the object that was possibly going to be his death. The unsub walked back over to box.

"What are you doing?" Reid asked confused.

"I am going to let you feel how it feels to be buried. You only have so much air in this small box Dr. Reid. I want to see you squirm" the unsub said happily before he pulled out a rubbery looking circle. Reid realised in horror that they were all the size of the small holes that were providing him with oxygen.

"Please don't" Reid begged as the unsub placed five of them on the clear lid. Reid stared at them knowing what the unsub was going to do.

"Shh...I promise I only want to watch you squirm. If you even try to push these out, which you won't be able to, I will take off another finger for each one you try to get out" the unsub threatened as he held the tip of the knife at the edge of one of the holes.

The unsub pushed the rubber circles into each of the holes blocking them completely. Reid tried to steady his breathing but instead found himself breathing faster and faster. Two minutes passed as Reid suddenly lost control.

"Let me out!" Reid cried as he felt tears run down his cheeks. He looked up and saw the unsub just staring back at him. Reid hated the mask, it made the unsub seem so much more inhuman. He started to hit out against the box, he ignored the pain of his severed finger.

Reid suddenly felt his chest become tight as he tried to take another breath. Reid felt himself become light headed as he began to feel the effects of a lack of oxygen. He knew he didn't have much time left as his vision began to blur and he began to gasp for air. Reid grabbed his chest as he couldn't breath. He hit the lid weakly before he let out a painful low screech as he failed to gain air.

Reid let his eyes fall as he felt himself succumb to unconciousness.

**Unsub**

The unsub grinned underneath his mask as he watched the young man fall limp in the case. He stared at the young man as his chest stopped moving. He quickly opened the case and lifted his limp body of out of the box. He laid him down on the floor.

The game wasn't over yet. The young doctor had so much more fun ahead of him.

He wondered if the BAU had recieved the gift he had sent. His protege better not fail him again.

**Reid**

Reid coughed as air filled his lungs, he gulped down the air greedily as he tried to process what had happened. He moved his arms and instantly knew he was no longer in the box. He also knew that he wasn't alone. Someone was hovering above him, he could feel them there. He opened his eyes and found himself looking into his the unsub's eyes.

"I told you that all I wanted was to see you squirm."

**BAU**

Hotch looked up briefly to see his team going through a mountain of paper work, it had been an hour since they had last seen Reid and they had yet another hour till they saw him again. Hotch was about to look back at the file on his lap but was interrupted by a young man walking into the room. He recognised him as another agent.

"Sir, this was dropped off for you at the front desk. I was told to bring it straight here by the man who delivered it" the agent said before walking over and handing it to Hotch.

Hotch ripped off the brown packaging, underneath it there was a small box with a red bow wrapped around it.

"Hotch, what is that?" Morgan asked although part of him already knew. He watched the young agent leave the room and turned back to Hotch.

Hotch ripped off the red bow and put his hand on the lid, he took a deep breath and opened the box.

"Oh god" Hotch gasped before he put the package on the table, he looked at it and struggled to keep himself from throwing up. Garcia, however, ran towards the nearest bin and threw up. Morgan ran over to her and held her hair before rubbing his hand over her back to calm her.

Morgan concentrated on Garcia. He couldn't look at the package, he couldn't face the horror.

Inside the small box in full view of the team was a bloody little finger with a tag tied around it.

_**'This little finger paid the price'**_ the tag read.

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

**I've posted a poll on my profile page for a new fanfic I might do in a few weeks time but I'm not sure if I should.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello, I must confess that I have become addicted to writing this fanfic, I keep having all these ideas flash up in my mind and I must write them. **

**Thank you for all your reviews and adds. Every time I see a new review I get more and more inspired to write. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and reviews are always welcome**

**All mistakes are my own **

**(Italic is flashback )**

Hotch bolted out the door as he felt a wave of guilt descend on him. He ignored the strange looks from the other agents and made his way into his office. He sat down at his desk and simply stared at his desk.

He had been the one to ask for the one for the clue and he was the reason for Reid having his finger cut off. Hotch  
>remembered the way that Reid struggled when the unsub was cutting it off. He knew that Reid was scared, he had seen the desperate plea for help screaming from his eyes when he had been on the chair. He closed his eyes to try and organise his thoughts. He needed a plan to find Reid. All he needed was a location.<p>

He felt a compulsion within him to find the unsub that had taken Reid and kill him. This unsub was torturing Reid and he needed to stop it soon.

His eyes shot open when an image of Reid hanging limply from a rope flashed up in his mind.

**'We are going to get him back, that is not going to happen'** Hotch thought to himself.

He wasn't prepared to lose Reid. He was too important to the team.

**Reid**

Reid realised that it was now time for the next round. He winced as he remembered the last hour.

**One hour ago**

_Reid was again struggling against the unsub as his legs were being tied. He noticed that his actions were weaker now. He was __so tired and so thirsty. The unsub had already tied his wrists behind his back, he had pulled them tighter and more harshly __than before._

_Reid laid down on the floor as he tried to gain any kind of energy. The profiler inside him was making notes of the unsub's _  
><em>personality. He knew that the unsub had a slight preference for suffocation, he had seen the look of excitement in his eyes <em>_when he had been trapped in the box._

_Reid tried to push himself up slightly. He instantly knew he had made a mistake._

_Reid grunted in pain as the unsub kicked him in the back sending his body back onto the floor. Reid let out two more small _  
><em>grunts before he decided to lay on the floor. Reid turned his head to look the other way and realised that there was another <em>_pair of feet._

_**Someone else is here** Reid thought._

_Reid looked up and saw that the other person was also wearing a mask expect his was different. The mask was Red with a black __'X' on the cheek of it. He watched as the unsub turned to the other person, they both turned angled their heads slightly at __each other before they turned back to look at him._

_"How about a game of tic tac toe?" the unsub laughed slightly to the stranger. The stranger simply nodded before they both __kneeled beside Reid. Reid suddenly felt a knee in between his shoulder blades as he was forced to stay flat against the __floor. Another strong weight came across his legs causing Reid to moan at the pain the action caused._

_The unsub lifted Reid's shirt up to halfway up his back causing Reid to stiffen._

_"What are you doing?" Reid yelled._

_Reid was helpless as he felt something cold on his back._

_The cold tip on the unsub's knife was on his back. It suddenly dawned on Reid what they were about to do._

_Reid screamed as the unsub pressed the knife into Reid's back and dragged it down vertically, he gasped as he felt the unsub __lift the knife and place it back to the top but a small space over. Reid tried to bite back his scream as the unsub cut a tic __tac toe grid across his back. He cried out as the finished the last horizontal line._

_"I'll be the circle" the unsub whispered into Reid's ear. Reid flinched away but knew that the unsub was telling him so Reid _  
><em>would know the unsub's torture. He would know who was creating the pain.<em>

_Reid hissed and sobbed when the blade pierced his back again, the unsub made a small circle in his back as he began the game._

_"Stop it please!" Reid sobbed._

_Another pain came across his back as he felt an X carved in to his back, he whimpered slightly when he felt a stream of _  
><em>liquid travel down his sides. They continued till Reid felt another cut in his skin, this one was deeper than the others. <em>  
><em>Reid screamed as he felt the unsub pushed the knife slightly deeper. Reid let his head fall to the ground as the fight left <em>  
><em>his body. He laid on the floor and took short but deep breaths to try and calm him.<em>

_Reid cried out as a hand grabbed his jaw and angled his head up slightly._

_"I always win" the unsub hissed in his ear._

_Reid watched the unsub and the stranger leave the room. Reid could feel the cold air on his back and decided to stay on his front. The floor was dirty and he didn't want to risk getting the cuts infected._

_"Please find me" Reid sobbed as he hoped his team would come soon._

Reid pulled himself away from the flashback as the door slammed open to reveal the unsub. Reid knew it was time for round two. Reid yelped as the unsub grabbed a fistful of his hair and began to drag him over to the chair.

**BAU**

Garcia stared at her computer screen as she awaited the contact from the unsub, she stared at the small clock on her screen as the two hour mark came closer and closer. Kevin was ready to try and trace the live feed, she knew it was a long shot but the unsub could be found if they were given enough time.

She knew she could trace it better but the unsub would ask questions if she was absent from the webcam when he contacted them. She closed her eyes as she tried to block out the sound of Reid screaming in her mind.

Garcia's eye's shot open when she heard a small bing noise from her computer. She looked at the screen and saw it was from the unsub.

"HOTCH!"

**Hope you all liked the chapter. More to follow very soon **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all for your reviews and story adds again. You are all amazing!**

**Enjoy this chapter and please review.**

**All mistakes are my own **

Hotch rushed into Garcia's room as soon as he had heard her call. He looked at the screen and saw another link.

"Everyone get in here" Hotch yelled out the door. A few seconds later the entire team had placed themselves inside Garcia's office.

"Kevin is ready to try and trace this guy" Garcia told Hotch as he finger hovered over the clicker on her mouse. She didn't really want to press the button but she knew it was the only way for them to save Reid. She just hoped she didn't have to watch Reid get tortured. It broke her heart to see her junior g-man hurt again.

She had watched him die and come back once before. She wouldn't be able to watch him die again.

"Press the link" Hotch said nervously before running a hand through his hair.

Garcia pressed the link and two windows appeared on the screen again. One of them showing the team while the other showed the basement again. They all stiffened as the unsub walked into the view of the camera, the mask searing itself into their minds so that it would invade their nightmares later.

"Welcome back. I hope you've had a fun two hours. Dr Reid has certainly provided me with some enjoyment. His screams are so beautiful" the unsub sighed happily.

Garcia just wanted to see Reid. She just wanted to see if he was still alive.

"What did you do to him?" Hotch asked. The finger inside the box had shown Hotch that this unsub was prepared to do the worst. He knew that Reid had become more confident and stronger since his kidnapping with Tobias but he knew Reid was also fragile. The rest of the team saw Reid as the baby of the group that needed to be protected.

Hotch felt another wave of guilt as he realised he had failed to protect Reid.

"I simply watched him squirm and then I played tic tac toe. I had some fun. It is time to play another round. Are you ready?" the unsub told them before leaning closer to the lens of the camera.

"Yes" Hotch said, he just hoped that Kevin was getting somewhere with tracing the bastard down.

"I believe Dr. Reid had something to say to you first. Don't you Dr. Reid?" the unsub said before looking over to someone they all knew was Reid.

The unsub turned the camera. The entire team watched Reid come into view, they saw Reid was shaking and tears were rolling down his face. He was once again standing on the chair with the noose around his neck but they saw something was wrong. His breathing was heavy and the sides of his shirt were completely covered in blood. He was bleeding, they knew he had lost quite a bit of blood due to pale complexion of his skin.

His knees buckled slightly making the team panic that he might fall. Reid took a deep breath in and steadied himself.

Morgan felt helpless as he watched Reid, his little brother, cry. Morgan knew that Reid was struggling but he knew Reid had a fighting spirit. They just needed to find him before the unsub destroyed it.

"Say it" the unsub snapped causing Reid to flinch slightly. Reid turned towards the camera and started to speak to them. His lip quivered furiously.

"T-Today I st-stand in front of you. In your helpless little view. I-I-I blame you all for this wreck. I b-b-blame you as I  
>hang by the noose by my n-neck" Reid cried and sobbed as the words came from his lips.<p>

Hotch knew that Reid was only saying what he had been told. The rest of the team look at each other with tears wanting to escape their eyes.

Reid was struggling. They needed to find him now was the thought that echoed through each of their minds.

**Reid**

Reid sobbed as he felt the words escape his lips. He hated himself for saying them. He hoped that Hotch and the rest of the team knew he wasn't the one behind the words.

They probably hated him now.

"Even he blames you. You could always lose the next round on purpose and get rid of him. Let's get started" the unsub taunted before he walked over to Reid with a strip of duct tape. Reid barely struggled as the unsub smoothed the tape over his lips.

Reid's eyes widened as the unsub brought out a bloodied knife from his belt. He knew the blood was his own.

"If you do anything to help them, I will take something much more than a finger. Do you understand me?" the unsub threatened as he held the tip of the knife under Reid's chin.

Reid nodded carefully, he let out a small whine as the unsub made a small cut under his chin.

The unsub walked over to his laptop and pressed the enter button. The small window appeared on the screen again along with nine small lines. Reid closed his eyes as the team began to try and guess the word that could save his life.

He didn't want to watch the image of the hangman. He wasn't allowed to help the team, he didn't want the unsub to take another finger or worse. He could hear the team as they tried to guess the word.

"A" he heard Emily's voice say.

"E" Morgan said. Reid could hear the worry in Morgan's voice. He didn't like hearing it. Morgan was the strong one on the team, Reid counted on that. It was one of the things that kept it strong in the FBI.

"D" Rossi said. Reid caught something in his voice. A kind of confidence that the others did not have. Reid knew that Rossi had a hunch about the word.

"The answer is abandoned" Rossi almost yelled down the camera.

Reid opened his eyes and saw that the timer had stopped and that the word was on the screen. Reid let out a small breath of relief through his nose.

"It looks like you still want him around. Well done Agent Rossi" the unsub smiled before he looked over to Reid. Reid shifted slightly at the gaze.

"Your daddy abandoned you didn't he? When you thought you had another father figure he went and left you too. You will forever be abandoned by those you think love you. Even them" the unsub taunted before he pointed over to the camera where the team was watching.

Reid stared into the unsub's eyes as he felt anger rush through him. His team was his family and they would never abandon him.

"You look-" the unsub began to say before a ringing noise filled the room. The unsub walked over to his laptop and hit multiple keys before he let out a fustrated and angry scream.

"YOU BROKE THE RULES!" the unsub yelled at the camera. He stormed over to Reid and ripped the noose from around Reid's neck. Reid was confused for a moment before the unsub grabbed his collar and threw him to floor.

Reid groaned and whined as his body slammed into the ground, he looked over to the screen and saw the team had been muted. They all seemed to be screaming at the screen but Reid couldn't hear them. Reid let out a muffled yelp as the unsub whipped his body round onto his back. Reid felt the dirt and dust on the floor hit the cuts on his back.

Reid hissed when the unsub ripped the tape away from his mouth. The unsub took the knife out of his belt and straddled Reid.

"Get off me!" Reid grunted as he felt the unsub's weight on his chest.

This guy weighs a tonne Reid thought.

Reid yelped again as the unsub backhanded him across the face. Reid panicked when felt the unsub put his hand into his mouth and grabbed his tongue. The unsub pulled Reid's tongue painfully so the tongue was straight and his mouth was open and placed the knife halfway down at the side. The unsub turned to the screen of shocked faces.

"Stop the trace or I cut this little shit's tongue out."

**Hope you enjoyed and please review**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone. Thank you so much for all the reviews and adds. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. **

**It was recently pointed out by a friend that I find torturing Reid comes to easily to me which worries me slightly**

**Anyways...**

**Enjoy the chapter and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid could feel the sharp edge of the knife as the unsub held it. Reid's eyes widened at the thought of losing his tongue, his greatest tool was his ability to talk. He couldn't lose that.

"Stop it now or young Dr. Reid is going to lose the ability to speak properly" the unsub growled before pressing the knife into Reid's toungue. Reid moaned with pain as he felt the knife slice into his tongue. Reid found himself choking slightly as he couldn't get rid of the blood that had run down into his throat. The unsub suddenly stopped making Reid feel relieved.

Reid didn't know what was going on as the unsub watched the screen. Reid wanted to see but if he turned his head he was going be pressing into the knife. The unsub turned back to him and let go of his tongue. Reid cringed when he felt the cut in his tongue, it was a deep cut and Reid knew he was going to need stitches. Reid turned his head and spit out the blood onto the floor.

The unsub let go of Reid and pressed a key on the laptop. Reid could hear the team again.

"We stopped the trace. Just stop hurting him" Hotch pleaded as he watched Reid shaking on the floor. Reid cursed himself as he felt himself shake.

"You still broke the rules. Dr. Reid has to pay for it. Games have rules and when you disobey them there are consequences" the unsub growled again as he grabbed Reid's jaw and yanked it to face him.

"It was our mistake. He didn't do anything wrong" Rossi argued back.

"Too late!" the unsub snapped back. Reid suddenly felt scared when the unsub got off him and walked over to a small table. Reid looked at the screen, he spit out another batch of blood from his mouth and bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything to the team.

Reid heard a rustle behind him before the unsub attacked.

**BAU**

Hotch and the team watched in horror as the unsub pulled a clear plastic bag from his pocket and made his way over to Reid. He pulled Reid up to a sitting position before the unsub grabbed his face and whispered something inaudible into Reid's ear. JJ gasped as the unsub put the plastic bag over Reid's head and pulled it tight. Garcia was crying as she watched Reid struggle for air.

Rossi watched in horror. This unsub varied his ways of torture on Reid. Reid's struggles began to fade as his oxygen starved body stopped fighting.

Morgan clenched his fists as he watched the unsub as he yanked the bag tighter. He felt scared as he watched Reid's eyes close and his body go limp. The unsub removed the bag and let Reid drop to the floor. A few moments later a faint wheeze could be heard. Reid was unconcious but still alive.

"Why are you doing this?" Garcia cried at the screen as she never took her eyes off of Reid who looked pale and near death.

"You broke the rules Miss Garcia, this is your fault. I told you not to trace this and you disobeyed. I'll contact you in  
>half an hour with the next round. I suggest you remove whoever tried to trace this. Naughty behaviour must be punished Miss Garcia" the unsub said viciously before the screen went dark again.<p>

"It's all my fault" Garcia sobbed before she got out of her chair and raced towards the women's restroom. Emily and JJ both raced after her as the men all stared at the screen.

"Reid won't survive another round. The son of a bitch almost suffocated him to death" Rossi said honestly. He had seen Reid fall to the floor near death. He knew he would be having nightmares about what he had just seen.

Hotch and Morgan stood silent, they didn't want to admit that what Rossi said was true. Reid would not survive another game.

Hotch jumped slightly when Kevin came rushing into the room with a laptop open in his hands.

"I know where he is!" Kevin said slightly out of breath.

Hotch and Morgan look surprised while Rossi slipped his calm and stoic personality back into place.

"You stopped the trace though" Morgan asked him confused.

"I got him just before you told me to stop the trace. I almost didn't get him but Garcia's software managed to grab his location" Kevin told them before turning the laptop round to show a home address that was about half hour away from the BAU office.

"Get the girls, we need to go now!" Hotch ordered before he ran out of the room. They had a location all they needed was the time to get Reid.

**Reid**

Reid knew he was slipping away, his heart rate had slowed down and his breathing was shallow. His face was now bruised and his wrists were raw from where he had struggled against the rope. Reid laid down on the floor on his stomach, the cuts on his back had been bleeding again. Reid had regained conciousness about fifteen minutes after he had almost been suffocated to death but he had decided to keep his eyes closed. The unsub wouldn't hurt him if he wasn't awake.

"I know you are awake Dr. Reid" the unsub told Reid before he pressed his boot against Reid's cuts. Reid whimpered as the unsub lifted his boot off.

"I have one last present for you Dr. Reid" the unsub said before Reid heard a rattle. Reid noticed that the unsub's helper had entered the room. Reid didn't have the energy to care, he was just so tired.

The helper lifted Reid so his back was up from the ground, Reid's vision blurred at the sudden movement. Reid watched as the unsub put a strap over his stomach, he swore that he saw a glint of silver on the strap. Reid screamed as the unsub pressed down.

**BAU**

Hotch skidded the car as they pulled up to the address. Hotch looked at his watch and realised that the unsub would be contacting them about now. The rest of the team was ready. Garcia had stayed back at the office with JJ, someone needed to be there when he contacted them.

"Storm it now" Hotch ordered.

Morgan stood ran to the door and kicked it down. The rest of the team rushed through the house as they tried to locate the basement.

"Kitchen" Morgan whispered into his comm unit. Hotch ran into the kitchen and stopped when he heard a loud bang from behind the door. Morgan kicked the door but it didn't budge.

"Hotch help me" Morgan shouted before they both started to kick the door in. Hotch and Morgan kicked two more times before the door finally gave out. Hotch rushed down the stairs first and watched as the unsub stood at the bottom of the stairs. Hotch charged the unsub and threw him against the wall. Morgan took over from Hotch as Hotch turned the corner of the basement. His heart stopped at what he saw.

He was looking at a bleeding and lifeless Reid hanging by his neck.

"No" Hotch gasped before he rushed forward.

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

**Please review and look out for the next chapter very soon**


	9. Chapter 9

**You are all the most amazing readers in the world. You really are. Thank you so much for all your reviews, they were all amazing and I hope this chapter is okay. **

**Part of me is worried that I haven't done it well. All medical knowledge is strictly from my brain and watching some medical shows. **

**Enjoy the chapter you wonderful readers and please review.**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Reid - Five minutes ago**

Reid felt himself sway slightly as he stood on the chair. He knew he didn't have much time left till he passed out. His vision had blurred to the point of where he wasn't able to see anything properly. He had lost too much blood, he was surprised that he was even still able to stand

"Stay awake Dr. Reid" the unsub reprimanded as he watch Reid's eyes flutter.

Reid wasn't fully focused on the screen when the unsub connected back to the team. His was trying to focus on stay upright even if everything inside of him screamed for him to just lie down and sleep.

Sleep. Reid liked the idea of sleep.

The unsub suddenly sounded very angry. Reid looked over to the unsub and saw a blurry figure storm over to him.

"Game over Dr. Reid" the unsub shouted.

Reid was confused for a moment before he saw the unsub kick the chair from beneath his legs. Reid yelped weakly as the rope tightened around his neck cutting of his air supply. Reid let out a long, almost silent, whine as he saw the darkness fill his vision. The darkness swept over him.

And then he felt nothing.

**Now**

Hotch rushed over to Reid and wrapped his arms around Reid's legs and lifted him up so that the pressure was off his neck. Hotch saw the blood that covered Reid.

**'What did the bastard do to you?'** Hotch thought as he felt blood on his hands.

"Rossi, cut him down!" Hotch yelled as he felt himself near the point of crying. Rossi rushed over to the overturned chair and put it next to Reid. He pulled out a penknife from his pocket and cut furiously through the rope. Hotch caught Reid as the rope was finally cut. He leaned Reid against his chest so his head was against his shoulder. Rossi jumped down and cut the tape behind Reid's hand.

Hotch laid Reid down and it was then he truly saw the damage that had been inflicted on Reid. Hotch felt for a pulse but felt nothing there. Reid's chest was still. Rossi removed a strip of tape from Reid's mouth.

"Call an ambulance" Rossi shouted back to Emily. Morgan had secured the unsub and was practically dragging the man up the stairs.

"He's not breathing" Hotch panicked before he began to start CPR. Hotch pressed down on Reid's chest before Rossi breathed into Reid's mouth. They both continued to perform CPR.

Rossi felt himself lose hope as Reid remained still. Reid was so pale and cold that Rossi felt that Reid was already dead. He watched Hotch try to bring back the youngest member of his team. Rossi breathed into Reid's lungs again, he stared at Reid and thought for one small moment that they had been too late.

That they had been too late to save young Spencer.

Hotch stopped compressions for a moment and looked down at Reid.

Rossi looked back down and felt relief rush through him. Reid's chest was moving slightly, Hotch grabbed Reid's wrist and check the pulse.

It was shallow and slow but it was there.

"He's alive" Hotch said relieved. Hotch kept his fingers on Reid's wrist as he wanted to make sure they didn't lose him again. He knew that Reid was only hanging onto life by a thread. Hotch watched as Rossi looked for further injuries, he shifted nervously as thought about the torture Reid had gone through.

"Oh god" Rossi gasped as he lifted up Reid's shirt.

"Rossi, what is it?" Hotch asked.

"Around Reid's stomach, he-" Rossi said not being able to say what had happened. Rossi pulled up Reid's shirt and revealed what was causing Reid to bleed so much.

Hotch wanted to throw up when he saw what was embedded in Reid's stomach.

A black leather strap with sharp spikes on it had been wrapped and pressed into Reid's flesh. Streams of blood had travelled down his body. Hotch knew they couldn't removed the spiked strap without causing more harm to Reid.

Hotch put his hand under Reid's head and held it up.

"You are going to be alright Reid. We are going to get you to a hospital" Hotch said calmly to Reid. He didn't know if Reid could hear him but he felt he needed to say something to Reid.

"Where is the damn ambulance?" Hotch yelled over to the officers that had now joined them.

**Five hours later**

Hotch had placed himself down in the waiting room. He was sipping a now cold coffee, he had forgotten about it when he had first brought it. He was too worried about Reid. Reid had been through a lot in the past year, Hotch didn't know if Reid had the strength to push past what had been done to him.

"Any news yet?" a voice said from above Hotch. Hotch looked up to see Garcia holding a fresh cup of coffee in front of him. Her eyes were puffy and red, an obvious sign she had been crying. Hotch knew he needed to speak with Garcia about what the unsub had said to her. He watched her sit down before he began to talk.

"Garcia, it wasn't your fault that he detected the trace. Please don't blame yourself" Hotch told her.

"He suffocated Reid to near death because of me. I told kevin to do the trace. Reid suffered because of my actions" Garcia said, her voice wobbled but didn't break.

"We would never have found Reid if the trace had not been done. Please don't blame yourself. The doctors are still working on him but they will tell us how he is soon" Hotch explained to her.

"Morgan is outside harassing the nurses as we speak. He just wants to know if Reid is alright" Garcia smiled sadly.

Hotch was about to respond but his attention was soo drawn by Morgan and a doctor walking into the room. Hotch stood to his feet and introduced himself to the doctor.

"I'm Agent Hotchner and this is Penelope Garcia. Do you have any news on Spencer Reid?" Hotch asked hopefully.

"Spencer Reid has been moved to a private room. We removed the spiked strap from his stomach, the spikes were not long enough to cause any damage to his organs but they will have to be watched for infection and he will have to be careful not to irritate them further. We had to stitch up the cuts to his back. Whoever did this to him had played a game of tic tac toe on Spencer's back. They were deep and will cause some discomfort and will probably scar. I'm sorry but we were not able to reattach his little finger but the cut should heal fine. He has a large amount of bruises and a few minor cuts. I'm sorry to say this but there is a chance that Spencer may not wake up" the doctor explained to them.

Her last few words caused them all to feel like glass.

"What do you mean he may not wake up?" Morgan almost growled at her. Hotch cast a warning glance at him causing Morgan to calm down slightly.

"We had to put him on a ventilator to help his breathing. His throat is inflamned, bruised and swollen from multiple attacks as well as the hanging. Spencer has fallen into a coma to try and allow his body to heal. His brain was starved of oxygen for a long time which could lead to complications if he wakes up. He also had multiple blunt trauma to his head."

"What kind of complications?" Garcia asked quietly.

"Memory loss and brain damage are my biggest concerns" the doctor said before her pager started to ring. She looked at it before switching the noise off.

"Can we go and see Reid?" Morgan asked. He wasn't taking no for an answer even if she said no.

"He is just down the hall. Spencer is in a very critical state at the moment and I must warn you that he is very bruised and hurt. I just want you to prepare yourselves" the doctor explained to them, her eyes expressing sadness for her patient's friends. The doctor left them to attend to another patient

Hotch, Garcia and Morgan quickly went down the hall till they came to Reid's room. Morgan opened the door and almost collapsed at the sight in from of him. Hotch and Garcia came in and instantly went to Reid's bedside.

Garcia let tears roll down her cheeks as she stared at Reid. It broke her heart to see her junior g-man looking so broken and frail. She let her hand hover over his face as she was afraid to touch him. She feared he would shatter into a million pieces if she touched him.

Hotch looked at all the IV's and tubes connected to Reid. Reid was a deathly white with dark purple bruises covering his faces. The tube in Reid's throat made Hotch flashback to seeing Reid hanging limply on from the rope. The heart monitor made Reid seem so much closer to death.

Morgan gaves Reid's hand a small squeeze. It made him feel better to be touching Reid's hand. It made him more real.

"Oh Reid" Garcia sobbed before she put her hand in his hair and leaned down. She gave him a kiss on the forehead hoping that he woke up.

"Please wake up" she whispered to Reid.

**I hope this chapter is okay**

**Another chapter to follow tomorrow**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone. Thank you again for all you reviews and adds again, you are all completely amazing. **

**I know this chapter is a bit short but I wanted to post something before I had to go out. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia stared down at Reid as she ran her hand through his hair, she wiped her cheek again before she pulled a chair near the bed and sat down. Her little junior g-man was only hanging in there and it hurt her. She was barely hanging in there any more, she had watched this happen to Reid. She had watched as him die again on her computer screen.

"Reid, you have to wake up. This team can't lose you" she whispered to him.

"He will wake up Garcia. He just needs a little time" Morgan told her as he gave Reid's uninjured hand another squeeze, he just wanted to let Reid know that he was there. He wanted to let him know that the entire team were there for him and they would always be in the future.

"We need to speak with the unsub. I want to know why he targeted Reid" Hotch said as he stared at the Reid. Morgan nodded in agreement and looked back over to Garcia.

"Garcia, can you stay with him?" Morgan asked. Garcia looked up to Morgan and Hotch.

"I'm not leaving this room till he wakes up" Garcia smiled sadly, she meant every word. She wasn't leaving the room till she saw Reid's brown eyes again. Morgan gave her a sad smile back while Hotch looked down at Reid. He put a hand on Reid's shoulder.

"Garcia is going to stay here with you Reid. Just heal but please wake up" Hotch told him before he beckoned Morgan to join him.

"Bye Reid" Morgan said sadly before he walked out of the room.

Garcia watched as Hotch and Morgan left the room. She knew that they didn't want to leave Reid but they needed to question the unsub on why he had taken Reid. Garcia wished she could set Morgan on the unsub but she knew she had to stay with Reid and be there for him.

Garcia looked down at Reid and wondered if he would ever be the same.

**BAU - One hour later**

Emily and Rossi watched the unsub as he sat too calmly in the interrogation room. They had identified the unsub as Jay Hansen. Rossi wasn't surprised to learn that he had been a suspect in an earlier case that the BAU had consulted on. Hotch and Morgan walked into the viewing room and looked at the unsub.

The man behind the mask.

"Has he been given his rights?" Hotch asked Rossi.

"He has and he doesn't want a laywer. His name is Jay Hansen, he was a suspect in a case the BAU consulted on five years ago. Reid was the one who consulted on the case, he sent them what they needed to catch the guy. They arrested and charged a suspect who was convicted. I think that they caught the wrong guy" Rossi explained to Hotch.

"You think that he is the actual suspect. What are the details of the case?" Hotch asked, he needed to know as much as he could if he wanted to get into the unsub's head.

"He hung his victims after he had tortured them. Exactly what he did to Reid except he altered his pattern by making us try and guess the words. He played a game with us Hotch. He has a problem with members of authority and he had a grudge against the FBI specifically" Rossi explained futher before he handed Hotch the case file.

Hotch opened the file and looked at the photo's of the unsub's previous victims. Hotch closed the file again as he thought of Reid suffering.

"Emily, I want you and Rossi to do the interview" Hotch told them. They both looked at him surprised.

"Why?" Emily asked even though she knew deep down why Hotch didn't want to do the interview. Morgan looked slightly pissed but he also knew it wouldn't be a good idea to go into the room.

"We have seen Reid and it would be irresponsible for us to interview him. We can't give him anything that may help him in the future. I don't think I could stop myself if he pushed me too far" Hotch told them.

"How is Reid?" Emily asked.

"He is in a coma and they don't know if he is going to wake up" Morgan said, he didn't miss the look of shock run across Rossi and Emily's faces.

"Are you two ready to do this?" Morgan asked them. He could clearly see that the news about Reid had clearly shaken them.

"We are" Rossi assured Morgan before he looked over to Emily. Emily followed Rossi into the room.

The unsub immediately looked up and smiled.

"Hello agents" he smirked.

**Hospital**

Garcia was talking to Reid just so he wouldn't feel alone. She suddenly felt a strong need to be honest with Reid, she needed to tell him what happened.

"Reid, I told Kevin to trace the link. It was my fault that the unsub hurt you, I'm so sorry Reid. I hope that you can  
>forgive me when you wake up" Garcia said as her eyes watered, she blinked away the tears. She needed to stay strong for Reid, she wanted to be the first thing he saw when woke up.<p>

"Hey Garcia" JJ said from the door. Garcia looked up from the door and smiled slightly at the sight of JJ at the door. JJ  
>walked in and pulled another chair up to the bed.<p>

"Hey Reid, its JJ" JJ said sweetly, she looked over Reid and her eyes were instantly drawn to the space where Reid's little finger should have been.

"They couldn't reattach it" Garcia told JJ as she had noticed her friend staring at Reid's hand.

"The team is interviewing the unsub now" JJ told Garcia. Garcia simply nodded, she didn't want to think about the unsub. She just wanted to focus on Reid getting better.

"Is he going to be okay?" JJ asked as she stared at the bruises on his face.

"I know he will. At least I hope he will be" Garcia told her.

**Next chapter is going to be a nice long one. Look out for it in a few hours**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you all for your reviews and story adds. I am really nervous about this chapter but I am always slightly nervous when posting a new chapter. Thank you all again for your reviews, they are all amazing and they all make me smile. **

**I all hope that you like chapter. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"Jay Henson. This is an interesting past that you have here" Emily said stoically as she opened the case file. Rossi watched the unsub. The man was fourty one with black hair but Rossi watched his eyes. Rossi could see that the unsub had resigned himself to his fate. They just needed to know why he had attacked Reid and how he knew so much about Reid.

"Its nice to know that you think it is interesting. It is not as interesting as the present" Jay smiled at Emily. Emily  
>wasn't fazed by the answer, she would not give the unsub anything.<p>

"Why did you take Dr. Spencer Reid?" Emily asked him, she saw his eyes go happy for second before they returned to a calm look.

"I took him because I wanted to play a game. He was the main player in my game and what a wonderful player he was" Jay smiled before his eyes fell to case file in Emily's hand.

"Is that all about little old me?" Jay asked, his eyes never leaving file.

"Five years ago an investigation was made in the murders of six people. You were the one of the suspects in the case before the police apprehended a suspect. You were cleared of all charges. We have reason to believe that you murdered the six victims" Rossi said calmly.

"Finally some recognition" Jay sighed happily.

"Are you admitting to murdering six victims five years ago?" Emily questioned him.

"I, Jay Henson, admit to killing those pathetic little people. I remember putting the noose around each of their necks and seeing the light leave their eyes. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it the same way that I enjoyed watching Dr Reid wheeze for air when I kicked the chair from under him" Jay taunted before a creepy smile came across his face.

"Why did you target Dr. Reid?" Emily asked without hesitation. She wanted to wipe the smirk of his face but Hotch had sent her in for a reason. She had to remain calm.

"He was the one that led to my recognition being taken away. He gave them a profile and they went and caught another person!" Jay shouted angrily.

"Calm down" Rossi ordered him.

"I wanted to show you all that you had the wrong man and I have. I wanted to show what happens when your little profiles are wrong and I did. I wanted to show you that this cat and mouse game you FBI agents play will eventually end with you at the end of the rope, hanging by your necks. Just like that little baby Spencer" Jay said calmly.

Rossi and Emily got up from their seats and left the interrogation room.

"He's too calm, something is wrong" Emily observed.

"He's hiding something and we need to find out what it is" Rossi said. Rossi knew that Jay was hiding something and they needed to find out.

**Hospital**

Garcia was alone with Reid again. She had told Hotch to go and spend some time with Jack and that she would call him if anything happened. JJ had left a few hours ago to see Henry. Garcia knew that JJ needed to see something good in the world after what she had seen Reid go through.

Garcia felt her eyes begin to close. She knew she needed to sleep after the day she had been through. Garcia was about to fall asleep in the chair when something made her awake fully. A small whine of pain came from the bed. Garcia looked at Reid's face and saw that his eyes had opened up slightly. Garcia pressed the call button above the bed before she looked at Reid.

"Reid, don't struggle to breath. Just relax. Shhhhh...its okay. You are safe now" Garcia told him. She looked at his eyes, his eyelids were heavy and his eyes were unfocused. Reid gave out a small whine again before trying to move.

"Is he awake?" the doctor asked as she rushed into the room. She brought out a small torch and leaned over Reid.

Garcia watched as the doctor shined the light into Reid's eyes. Garcia was happy that he was awake but she knew that something was wrong. Reid was completely unfocused and his eyes were sluggish. He kept moaning in pain making Garcia just want to take all the pain away.

"Spencer, you are in the hospital. The tube down your throat is to help you breath. Dr. Reid, can you understand me?" the doctor asked loudly.

Reid whined against the tube making Garcia put a hand to his cheek. Reid's eyes were still unfocused and he had started to cry weakly, small tears made their way down the sides of his cheeks. Garcia grabbed a tissue from the box near his bad and wiped the tears away.

"What's wrong with him?" Garica asked, she wanted to know what was wrong with her Reid.

"Its common with people who wake from a coma to experience severe confusion but I need to run few more tests on him before I can confirm what I think" the doctor said before they both looked down to Reid as his eye's began to close. Garcia watched as Reid went still again, his eyes closed covering his hurt brown eyes.

"What is wrong? Tell me" Garcia urged the doctor. Reid was completely still again except for the rise of his small chest. The doctor was testing Reid, she waited about a minute before she responded to Garcia.

"I think that he has come out of the coma. I will honestly tell you that I am surprised that he woke up. It is very common for those who awake from a coma to only be able to stay awake for a few minutes. Hopefully he will awake more and more over the next few days and for longer amounts of time. I'm still concerned with Spencer's state of mind and the blunt trauma he recieved. I won't know fully till he wakes up but I think he has recieved some brain damage from the combination of his brain being starved of oxygen and the blunt trauma. His pupils are unequal which is a potential sign of brain damage" the doctor told Garcia.

"How bad could it be?" Garcia asked, she was only just keeping herself together. She looked down at Reid, he couldn't have brain damage.

"It could be minor damage or the damage could be more severe. He could have problems with trying to speak and with his movements. Memory loss and changes to his mental state. There are more severe things that could be wrong but I don't want to jump to them till he wakes up fully. I'm sorry if this is so much" the doctor explained.

"What about his neck and throat?" Garcia asked nervously, she just wanted to stop talking about the different ways Reid could have been changed.

"Till he regains further conciousness I am going to leave it in. The more oxygen he recieves the better he will do. You can stay with him as long as you need" the doctor smiled sadly before she left the room.

Garcia collapsed into the chair and then leaned foward to Reid. She let herself cry again, everything just came down on her in one swift movement.

"You are going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay" she whispered to him even though deep down she knew the words were more for her than for Reid.

"Garcia, what's wrong?"

Garcia looked up and saw Morgan, her knight in shining armor, standing at the door. He looked confused and worried as he looked at her.

"Reid was awake for a few minutes. He's out of the coma but-" Garcia said before a sob interrupted her sentence. She didn't want to tell Morgan the bad news about Reid.

Morgan rushed over to Garcia and enveloped her in a strong hug.

"What's wrong?" Morgan asked her as she cried into his shoulder. Garcia came away from the hug and looked at Morgan, she calmed herself slightly.

"He is showing signs of brain damage but the doctor doesn't know how severe till he wakes up properly. He couldn't focus when he was awake and he kept whining in pain. Morgan, what has that bastard done?" Garcia cried again, she grabbed another tissue and brought it to her eyes.

Morgan felt his heart break at the news. He looked over to Reid and suddenly felt his view of the future go hazy.

It was hard to imagine the team without Reid there.

It was hard to imagine him not being in the small family that had come to love him.

**I hope this chapter was okay. **

**You all know that I update quickly so look out for the next chapter.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I am so sorry the delay everyone but I have not been able to sign into my account to upload the chapter. I am really sorry. I'm also sorry for only one chapter, feeling a bit poorly but I will update tomorrow and it will be two chapters. **

**All medical knowledge is again from my brain, tv shows and a bit of research.**

**Enjoy and please review **

**All mistakes are my own **

Hotch was frozen as he spoke to Morgan on the phone. Morgan had called him a few minutes ago with news of Reid's condition.

"How sure is the doctor? She said she won't know till he is awake for longer. He could wake up and be the normal Reid" Hotch asked Morgan, the news that Reid could have brain damage had made Hotch want to kill Jay Henson more than ever.

Hotch knew that with a little help from the team that Reid would have been able to get through the memories of the torture. He knew that Reid would have been strong enough to get better.

Hotch wasn't so sure now.

"He is showing signs of possible brain damage. I spoke to the doctor and he has unequal pupils which is a sign but she can't confirm anything till he wakes up further as confusion is normal in people when they first come out of a coma. Garcia is really upset, she's asleep right now and refuses to leave Reid's beside" Morgan told Hotch over the phone.

"I'm going to come to the hospital. I'll be there in about an hour" Hotch said to Morgan. Jack was being taken care of by his aunt which left Hotch time to visit Reid.

**Hospital - One hour later**

Hotch walked through the hallways of the hospital with a small bag in his hands. He had stopped off at Reid's apartment and brought an array of books and personal items for Reid. He turned the corner and walked into Reid's room. He stopped at what he saw. Reid was still on the bed but the tube had been removed from his throat.

"Where is the breathing tube?" Hotch asked as he put the small bag on the unit by the door. He didn't like the way that Reid was breathing and it was first time he had been been able to see Reid's neck properly. There was a small line around his neck that Hotch knew was from a combination of Reid's first attack and the hanging that had almost killed him. A dark bruise was all around his neck and looked angry.

"Reid's doctor is off till tomorrow and his new doctor said that tube could be taken out as the swelling had gone down enough" Morgan explained.

"He sounds awful, is that wheezing normal?" Hotch said as he walked over to Reid's bedside.

"The doctor said that he would sound slightly wheezy but it was better for Reid if he started to try and breath on his own. He is doing really well" Morgan said slightly hopeful that Reid would not have any problems.

Hotch looked over to Garcia who was laid down on a couch, she looked exhausted, she was asleep which meant she would get some sleep. She had been covered with a blanket and a jacket placed under her head. Hotch recognised it as Morgan's jacket.

"She needed some rest" Morgan yawned. Hotch gave him a worried glance.

"You need to sleep as well" Hotch advised Morgan.

"I will once I know Reid's full condition" Morgan smiled back. Morgan could feel sleep trying to take him but a cup of coffee had managed to keep it at bay.

Hotch and Morgan continued to talk for another fifteen minutes but stopped when they noticed movement come from the bed. They looked up and saw that Reid had opened his eyes slightly, they were slightly focused but stricken with pain. Morgan pressed the call button again. Garcia jolted up from her sleep and looked over. She threw off the blanket and rushed to Reid's side.

"Reid, you are in the hospital. It's okay, just stay calm" Hotch told Reid. Reid looked sluggishly over to Hotch. A middle aged man walked into the room and Hotch assumed that this was Reid's doctor for the night. He leaned over Reid and checked his pupils, the slight frown on his face told Hotch that something was wrong.

"Spencer. My name is Dr. Swann, do you know why you are in the hospital?" Dr. Swann asked. Reid looked at the ceiling for a moment before he shook his head slightly side to side.

Hotch, Morgan and Garcia all look at each other with panic in their eyes. Reid had no memory of his torture at the hand's of Jay Henson. They didn't know if this was a blessing or curse. Reid wouldn't remember his torture but there was no way of telling what else he didn't remember.

"Spencer. can you say Red lorry, yellow lorry?" the doctor asked. Reid swallowed painfully before he began to talk.

"Rery, yelor" Reid rasped quietly as he tried to say the words. Reid looked panicked at his inability to say the sentence. Reid looked at Hotch.

Hotch immediately went to Reid's side, he put a hand on his shoulder to stop his movements. He didn't want Reid to aggravte his other wounds.

"Reid, calm down. It's going to be alright. You have to stay still or you are going to hurt yourself. You are safe" Hotch told him.

"I on't member" Reid tried to say before he closed his eyes in fustration. He gritted his teeth before trying to speak again.

"urt's, hat appened-d?" Reid slurred painfully.

"We will talk about it later Reid. Just rest" Hotch assured him.

"Spencer, I need you to do one more thing before you rest. I need you to follow the light" the doctor ordered gently before he started to move the small light side to side in front of Reid.

Garcia looked at Reid as he tried to follow the light. She felt panic flow through her when Reid tried to hit the light away from his eyes. Reid scrunched his eyes up tightly and his arms started to hit out. Morgan came foward and grabbed Reid's hands.

"No...ge way" Reid whined as he tried to flail and struggle against Morgan.

Reid moaned weakly before he became still and limp again.

Morgan slowly lowered Reid's arms back to the bed. Reid had fallen asleep and his wheezing sounded even worse.

"What's wrong with him" Hotch demanded from the doctor.

"He is showing sign of aphasia although he seems to understand us to a degree. Aphasia can cause dizziness, confusion but the main sign is slurred speech. He knows what wants to say but his brain isn't allowing him the ability to say it properly. He also seems to have some memory loss but till he becomes more cooperative I won't be able to find out how much he has lost. I also think that he may be have some behavioural problems" Dr. Swann answered.

"What kind of behavioural problems?" Garcia asked him.

"He may find contact difficult with other people. He may also have changes in his personality and behave differently" the doctor told her gently.

Garcia sat down next to Reid's bedside again and started to run her hand through his hair again, she was careful to avoid the bumps on his head.

"I'll leave you alone to speak. I'll be back soon" Dr. Swann said as he left the room.

"Do you think that Reid doesn't remember his torture at all?" Morgan asked Hotch quietly.

"I hope that he doesn't remember in a way but I don't think he will ever be the same Reid. His eyes were so confused and hurt, it was like he was lost" Hotch expressed.

They watched as Garcia went to the small bag and searched through it. She grabbed a book and placed it down on the bed open. She started to read from the book and it was then that Hotch felt himself gain the confidence that he had needed.

"I'm going to speak with Jay Henson and I'm going to make sure he will never see the light of day again" Hotch said angrily before storming out of the room.

He was going to show Jay the consequences of hurting his agent.

**Hope it was okay. New chapters very soon**

**Please review**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone. Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**I hope my writing is okay, I'm a bit unfocused today as still feel a bit bad. **

**I would also like say that if you want a great story to read that you check out XxxLevityxxX and her story Bitter revenge, Sweet Tragedy. I love it and it's a great read.**

**Enjoy and please review **

**All mistakes are my own**

Rossi stared at his Ipad as he went through photos of the team. Garcia had put them on there after Rossi had had a bad case. He knew that she had done it to remind him that the team would always be there for him.

He stopped on one particular photo. It had been taken by Morgan on the plane when Reid had been asleep. Rossi couldn't help view Reid as the young one in the group. The one that needed to be protected from the unsubs on every case.

Rossi remembered when Reid and Prentiss had been held hostage by Benjamin Cyrus. When he had walked in and looked at both of them he had thought two different things. Emily looked slightly worried but the look in her eyes had told Rossi that she could handle the situation. He had thought different about Reid. He had thought that Reid shouldn't be in the church being held hostage. Rossi had always had difficulty understanding why Reid had been allowed into the BAU at such a young age.

He had discovered why as he worked with Reid. He had noticed Reid's ability to observe what others failed. Reid was more than his brain and Rossi knew it. He knew that Reid was young but he also knew that Reid was one of the greatest FBI agents to walk the corridors of the BAU.

And the unsub had destroyed that. He had destroyed Reid and possibly changed the young genius's life. Rossi looked up when he heard Emily shout. Rossi bolted out of his office and looked at them both

"Hotch! Stop it, you are not going to do any good if you storm in there" Emily shouted at Hotch as she blocked his way. Emily would knock him out if she had to. Hotch could give Jay a reason to get a easier ride and she didn't want that.

"He has ruined Reid's life. I was just at the hospital and Reid couldn't even remember why he was there, he can't talk properly. He is showing signs of brain damage Emily. Reid isn't going to be the same" Hotch snapped back. Emily stood shocked and frozen for a moment at the new news. Rossi walked behind Hotch and grabbed his shoulder

"Hotch, you can't storm in there. I'm having him transferred into official custody and we will interview him again after we speak with Reid. You know this isn't sensible Hotch. I also know that Reid is like a son to you. He is to me and the rest of the team views him as family. Family protects family and if you storm in there and hurt that bastard you are going to give him an excuse" Rossi said sternly to Hotch.

Hotch calmed down slightly, he looked at Rossi and knew that Rossi was right.

"Hotch, what happened at the hospital?" Emily asked, she wanted more information on Reid. She knew Reid had awoken from his coma but she needed to know more.

"The tube is out from his throat and he woke up when I was there. The doctor says that he is showing signs of Aphasia, he knows what he wants to say but can't say it properly. He can understand us to a degree. He can't focus properly. He just looks so lost. He has memory loss but we don't know how much" Hotch explained to them.

"We are going to see him once the transfer team arrives to take Henson" Emily said. She was going to see Reid, she needed to see how much he had been affected.

Hotch and Rossi both nodded before they looked at each other.

**Hospital - Two hours later**

Garcia woke up to hear Reid whimpering. She looked up to him and noticed something was wrong. He kept moving as if something was hurting him.

"Morgan, wake up" she yelled as she went to Reid's bedside. Morgan jolted up from his chair and looked over to see Garcia making her way to Reid's bedside. Reid eyes were open again sluggishly and were unfocused slightly. Reid kept trying to lift his back and move off the bed.

"Morgan something is hurting him" Garcia panicked as she tried to comfort Reid. Morgan turned Reid's body onto his side slightly causing Reid to whine in pain.

"Shhh...you are okay" Garcia told Reid as she tried to soothe Reid. She looked over to Morgan and was surprised when Morgan pulled out something wrapped in brown paper from underneath Reid. Morgan placed it on the side and lowered Reid back onto the bed.

"Reid. Is that better?" Morgan asked hopeful. Reid looked over to Morgan and smiled slightly.

"Ank yo" Reid rasped before he closed his eyes again in fustration.

"What is that?" Garcia asked as she wondered how the object had gotten underneath Reid. Reid simply stared at the ceiling, his eyes wondering side to side every now and then. Morgan grabbed the package and ripped away the paper. Reid looked down sluggishly as the he heard the sound of the paper being ripped.

Morgan ripped the paper to reveal a mask.

"What is it?" Garcia asked as she saw Morgan's eyes widen slightly.

"It's a red mask with a black cross on the cheek" Morgan told Garcia before he passed it over Garcia. Reid caught a glimpse of the mask and looked at it.

Morgan looked back to Reid and noticed Reid's eyes furrow slightly. He had the same look that someone had when they thought they recognised something but couldn't place it. Reid's eyes suddenly went wide with panic as something clicked.

Reid let out a horrific screech and started to scream. Morgan grabbed Reid's clenched fists as Reid began to hit them against his injured head. Reid continued to struggle violently as Morgan touched him.

"Reid...calm down. It's okay" Garcia cried as she tried to help Morgan. Reid started sob frantically as struggled.

"NooooooH!" Reid cried. Garcia looked down at his stomach and saw a crimson red begin to spread. Morgan saw it as well and called out for help.

"Ge off e! Et me o!" Reid tried to scream out at Morgan. The doctor came rushing in with a nurse and was shocked at what he saw.

"What the hell happened?" Dr. Swann said angrily before he pulled out a small syringe.

"Tiiic Taaa-ccc oe" Reid sobbed as Dr. Swann injected something into his arm. Reid began to get weaker before he let out a another sob. Reid went limp but Morgan caught him and slowly lowered him back down against the pillow.

Garcia was crying as she watched Reid go limp on the bed. Morgan walked over to her and gave her a hug. Garcia buried herself into his shoulder and sobbed. Morgan watched the doctor as he began to assess Reid again. He lifted up Reid's gown but pulled up the cover to allow Reid modesty. Morgan looked away when the doctor revealed the spike wounds, they were bleeding as Reid has pulled the stitches.

"What happened?" Dr Swann demanded.

"Reid was moaning and it was because of the mask underneath his back. Someone must have come in here while we were asleep and put it there. Reid looked at it confused for moment before he started screaming at the sight of it. Is he remembering?" Morgan told the doctor before he asked the question.

"I think he is. He said Tic Tac Toe, the cuts on his back are of Tic Tac Toe" the doctor answered back.

"Oh god. No!" Garcia sobbed before she left the room.

**Hotch**

Hotch, Emily and Rossi were near Reid's room when they saw Garcia run out the room crying. Emily ran after her while Hotch and Rossi rushed to the room. They entered and saw Reid unconcious and bleeding.

"What happened?" Hotch demanded.

"He remembered something. Something bad" Morgan answered.

**What happened to unsub number two? Stay tuned to find out**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone**

**Thank you so much! I have never reached over 100 reviews before and I want give you all virtual hugs for reviewing and helping me reach that goal. **

**I know this is a short update and I am so sorry about the delay in the new chapter but I haven't been very well the last two days. Pillow and cover have been my friends...along with criminal minds episodes.**

**I am sorry about the length of the update but tomorrow you will all have a 4,000 word chapter that I am working on now. I just want to give you an update.**

**Hope you like the chapter**

**All mistakes are my own. Please review**

Emily had a tough time keeping up with Garcia as Garcia ran into a women's bathroom. Emily opened the door to see Garcia wiping away her tears and make up, the former makng the latter run. Emily walked over to Garcia and took a deep breath. She had to comfort Garcia right now and be the strong one.

"Garcia, what happened?" Emily asked gently. Garcia looked up with red puffy eyes and looked Emily.

"Someone put a red mask underneath Reid, they must have came in when me and Morgan were asleep. He was moaning in pain. We took out the mask and Reid saw it. He just screamed and cried for everyone to let him go. Emily, he-he remembered something" Garcia sobbed gently.

Emily stepped foward and gave Garcia a comforting hug. Garcia returned it before she pulled away and wiped her eyes again.

"How is Reid?" Emily asked, she knew that the doctors were helping Reid right now, she didn't want to disturb them.

"He can't deal with what happened to him. Not in this state, he can't say what he wants to and we still have no idea what he remembers and what he doesn't. Emily, I don't think he is ever going to be the same. He won't be our Reid anymore" Garcia cried gently.

"The team sometimes has a habit of underestimating Reid" Emily smiled "He will be fine after some time, he'll push through the pain and he'll come out as our Reid. Your junior g-man."

Garcia looked up at Emily and smiled slightly at what she has said. Garcia knew that Emily was right. The team had under estimated Reid at time. He held his own when he entered a train containing a troubled unsub. He had fought through his drug addiction and overcome nightmares in his dreams as well as the real world.

Garcia knew that Reid was stronger than people thought.

He was hero in Garcia's view. He always would be no matter what happened to him.

**Hospital room**

"What did he remember?" Rossi asked, he looked over to Reid and saw that the doctor had started to repair the damage caused by Reid thrashing about.

"He woke up moaning in pain. We found a mask underneath his back and when Reid saw it he starting screaming. Hotch he was so scared, he started hitting himself so I grabbed his hands. He kept struggling and then he said 'Tic Tac Toe'. I think he remembered when the unsub carved the game into back" Morgan explained. He looked over and saw the doctor begin to restitch the wounds that had opened up.

"Jesus" Rossi muttered under his breath. Hotch still caught it though.

"I want to know where the mask came from" Hotch said.

"Jay Henson was transferred to a secure facility, you don't think that there is a second unsub" Rossi pondered.

"I think that there could be a second unsub that Jay Henson kept out of our view. It was the second unsub that put the mask under Reid's back. The mask is different though to the one Jay wore. I think the second unsub may have been a protege of some sort" Hotch explained to Rossi.

"I let him get near Reid" Morgan realised as his heart filled with heavy guilt.

"Morgan, don't! We never considered a second unsub. I'll have someone posted at his door from now on. He'll be safe Morgan" Rossi told Morgan. Rossi didn't want Morgan to blame himself.

"No-one is going to touch him again. Ever" Hotch stated with fierce authority.

**Hope that was okay. Look out for the next chapter**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everyone, **

**I have been really busy the last few days and this chapter is a bit shorter than I wanted it to be but I was a bit strapped for time and wanted to post a chapter. I have the weekend off so expect a load of updates.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter**

**Enjoy and please review. All mistakes are my own.**

**A few hours**

Hotch found himself perched on a chair next to Reid. He had now made sure that Reid had a protective detail. Morgan had taken Garcia on a small walk. Garcia had to be almost torn away from Reid but Hotch knew she needed fresh air, she was comfortable with Morgan. Hotch was happy that he had a team that was so close. Hotch had told Emily and Rossi to get some sleep and then they could return. JJ was still with Henry.

He was afraid that they would now lose that because of Jay Henson and his partner.

"..otch" a small voice moaned. Hotch looked up and saw that Reid was awake, he is brown tired eyes focused on Hotch. Hotch put down the paper he had been reading down shuffled himself closer to Reid. Reid closed his eyes for a moment and took a shaky breath in before opening his eyes to look at Hotch again.

"Reid. You are okay, how do you feel?" Hotch asked gently. Reid looked at him for a moment before gave Hotch a sad smile.

"Sc-c-cared. I-I..don't..member..wha..appened? I-I..an't..peak" Reid said in a small raspy scared voice. Hotch felt his heart ache as he saw how scared Reid. He didn't see Reid as a senior agent at that moment. He looked at Reid and saw a man that was scared and hurt. Hotch gently held Reid's uninjured hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"Do you remember what happened to you? Do you know why you are in the hospital?" Hotch asked.

Reid shook his head gently to answer Hotch.

"I can tell you if you want but it is going to scare you" Hotch told Reid. Reid looked down for a moment before he sluggishly looked back at Hotch.

"It..s-s-scares..me..more..not..kn-n-owing. why am I-I..ere?" Reid cried silently.

Hotch closed his eyes and took a deep breath in. He knew that Reid needed to know what happened but he was worried slightly. Reid had freaked out earlier. He just hoped Reid could stay strong.

"Reid, you were kidnapped in your car by a man named Jay Henson. He surprised you in the car and knocked you out. We received an email link from him. It was camera that showed us you. He wanted us to play a game of Hangman and it was your life that was on the line. He had you standing on a chair with a noose round your neck. Can you looked at your hand?" Hotch asked Reid, his voice shaking.

Reid went to lift the hand that Hotch was holding but Reid held the hand in his.

"Your other hand" Hotch told him. Reid looked over to his other hand. He looked at it confused for a moment before his eyes went wide. Hotch watched as Reid lowered his injured hand back down. Reid looked over to Hotch. Reid began closed his eyes and let tears slide down his cheeks. Hotch felt a tear slide down his own cheek as he watch Reid start cry. He wiped the tear away from his cheek quickly. He needed to be strong in front of Reid.

Reid began to sob heavily. Hotch got out of his chair and sat on the edge of Reid's bed. He quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped the tears from Reid's face.

"I-I..on't..member" Reid cried.

Hotch put his arm around Reid and jumped slightly when he felt Reid bury himself into his chest. Hotch lowered himself slightly and enveloped Reid in a hug. He made sure that Reid didn't disturb the injuries on his stomach. Hotch held Reid as Reid cried into his chest. Hotch felt Reid tremble and shake in his arms.

"Shhh...you are okay. You are safe now...shhhh" Hotch told Reid as Reid cried. Hotch rubbed his hand up and down Reid's back to try and soothe him.

Hotch held onto Reid for ten more minutes before he felt him Reid calm down slightly. Hotch felt Reid still and become limp against him. He looked down to see that Reid had gone back to sleep. Hotch tried to lower his back to the bed but Hotch noticed Reid grip onto his jacket. Hotch looked down and saw that Reid was awake slightly. He had thought that he was asleep.

"D-don't..I..d-d-don't..ant to be..lone" Reid pleaded as he gripped onto Hotch's jacket tightly.

"I won't go. It's okay" Hotch assured him.

**One hour later**

Hotch was watching as Dr. Swann was trying to talk to Reid.

"I know that Agent Hotchner told you what happened but do you remember anything at all that happened to you? You became combative earlier. Do you remember?" Dr. Swann asked gently.

Reid looked over to Hotch for a moment and then looked down at the covers.

"Reid, its alright. Just tell Dr. Swann" Hotch assured him.

"I-I don-'t..member..much. Jus..pain..on..my..b-b-ack. I-I-I member..some-one..alk-ing to me. I-I saaaww..a mask. Tiiic Taccc T-Toe" Reid whispered before he hissed in pain.

"What hurts Spencer?" Dr Swann asked as he watched the young man's face scrunch up in pain.

"M-My...ead..urts" Reid moaned.

"Try and get some sleep Spencer. You've been through an ordeal and you are going to be experiencing headaches. I want you to rest and I will be back later" Dr Swann smiled at Reid before he left the room.

Hotch walked over to Reid and pulled the blankets up to Reid's chest. Reid looked at Hotch with a confused face before he let out a small smile.

"T-Thank...you" Reid said as Hotch made sure Reid was warm and comfortable.

"Anytime. Get some rest" Hotch smiled.

Hotch watched Reid fall into a deep sleep before he resumed his place in his chair. Garcia would be back soon and he had no doubt that she would have gifts for Reid.

**Hope that was okay. Please review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone, hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Thank you all again so much for all the reviews and story adds. You are all amazing. **

**All mistakes are my own**

**Enjoy and please review**

**Four hours later**

Hotch felt his eyes begin to feel heavy as he began to succumb to the call of the sandman. Hotch hoped that the team was getting somewhere in finding the second unsub. He had convinced Garcia to help the team track the unsub down although only on the promise that once they found the unsub she would be in charge of Reid and his recovery. Hotch looked over to Reid and made sure he was still sleeping peacefully before he let himself fall asleep.

Hotch wasn't sure what woke him up until he opened his eyes to see a syringe in his arm. He struggled to look up as he felt his body begin to go limp. He looked up and found himself staring at a young man dressed in scrubs.

"Don't worry Agent Hotchner, it'll only paralyse you. I want you to watch what I do to Dr Reid. I want you to watch like before and know that you can't do anything about it" the young man smiled at him before he pushed Hotch back into the chair. Hotch felt his entire body go limp, he panicked as he had no control over his body. He had no way of helping Reid. Hotch felt the unsub turn his head to face Reid's peaceful form.

Hotch wanted to scream at the man but couldn't even force a whisper.

"Jay taught me well, it is an honour to be chosen by him" the unsub smiled at Hotch again before he made his way over to a small white bag and pulled out a roll of duct tape. The unsub ripped of a small piece and smoothed it over Reid's mouth. Hotch knew that it would take a bit to wake Reid up because of the medication he had been recieving. Hotch watched helplessly as the unsub duct taped Reid's wrist to the bed.

"Oh and Agent Hotchner, I wouldn't expect the guards to come and help you. You should be more careful who you put outside the room, it seems anyone can be brought for the right price. They have gone for a while" the unsub told Hotch as he picked up the white bag and placed it on Reid's bed. Hotch's eyes went wide when the unsub climbed on top of the bed.

Reid moaned slightly causing Hotch to panic again. Hotch watched as Reid turned his head slightly and opened his eyes slowly.

**'Oh Reid, I'm so sorry'** Hotch thought

**Reid**

Reid felt something heavy on his legs, he turned his head slightly before he opened his eyes slowly. He opened them to see Hotch slumped down in a chair facing him. Reid tried to talk but couldn't. He looked confused for a moment before he looked at his wrists and realised they were tied to the bars. Reid turned his head and saw a young man in scrubs sat on his hips. Reid whimpered against the tape as the unsub produced a knife and twisted it in his hands.

"Hello Dr Reid. Do you remember me?" the unsub smiled as he leaned forward and put the knife under Reid's left eye. Reid closed his eyes as he felt the cold tip of the blade under his eye. Reid tried to moved his face away but the unsub grabbed it and yanked it back to face him.

"I asked you a question! Look at me when I talk to you and answer me. Nod for yes and shake your head for no" the unsub growled. Reid shaked his head side to side quickly, he ignored the pain in his head. He was too afraid to care.

"What a shame. I rather enjoyed carving the X's into you back during a fun game of Tic Tac Toe. I'm going to enjoy carving more things into you" the unsub taunted before he held the blade against the middle of Reid's arm.

Reid struggled slightly as the unsub placed the knife on his arm. The unsub looked at him before he began to drag the blade down Reid's arm. Reid screamed as he felt the blade slowly make it's way down his arm. He let the tears fall as he felt a warm sensation down his arm. He looked at his arm and saw it covered with blood.

Reid turned to Hotch and knew something was wrong with him. He hated the part of himself that screamed for Hotch to help and not sit there.

Reid screamed again as the unsub dragged the knife down his other arm. He struggled as the pain filled his other arms. His struggles became weaker as the blood loss began to affect his already fragile and weak body.

"Stay awake Dr Reid" the unsub scolded before he gave Reid a brutal slap across the face. Reid moaned in pain as his cheek stung fiercly.

"I don't have much time so I'm going to finish this up" the unsub said cheerfully before he put the knife back into the bag. Reid looked over to Hotch and saw that Hotch was scared. Hotch looked at Morgan with sad eyes.

**'What did he do to you'** Reid thought.

Reid hissed as the unsub ripped the tape away from his lips. Reid tried to scream for help but the unsub clamped his hand over his mouth.

"I'm going to squeeze the life out of you after what you did to Jay" the unsub growled before he put his hand around Reid's throat. Reid wheezed and grunted as the unsub began to strangle him.

**Hotch**

Hotch felt his heart begin break as he watched the unsub put his hands around Reid's throat. He had to watch as Reid was being killed by the second unsub. Hotch watched as Reid grunted and began to lose conciousness.

"NO!" Hotch heard someone scream before a gunshot echoed around the room. Hotch felt relief fill him when he saw the unsub fall off Reid and slam into the floor.

Hotch felt soft hands turn his head. He looked up as his head was turned and saw that it was Garcia.

"Hotch! Hotch! Morgan, I don't think he can move" Garcia panicked.

"Garcia, go and get a doctor" Morgan yelled.

**Hope that was okay. Please review**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone.**

**Thank you again all so much for the reviews. I especially liked MysticFantasy's review. It did make me chuckle when I saw it. **

**I know I'm evil to Reid. That has been pointed out on many occasion.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid's first thought was that he was dead. He wondered if the unsub had killed him back on the bed. The small voices around him told his mind otherwise. Reid wanted to open his eyes but they just felt so heavy. He decided to just lay back and listen.

"Did they get the security guards? The ones the unsub paid to leave Reid unprotected." Garcia said angrily. Reid frowned internally. Why was Garcia so angry? He hated to hear her sound so angry, she usually sounded so sweet.

It was his fault that she sounded angry.

"Yeah. They are now in custody and one has a broken nose courtesy of Emily. That women can throw a punch." Morgan chuckled slightly but it soon died down.

"How is he?" Garcia asked. Reid felt a warm and smooth hand hold his. Reid welcomed the comfort from Garcia.

"The doctor said that he will have to stay for two more days before they will consider him to be discharged. He's had some blood pumped back into his body. Reid is staying with me till he gets better." Morgan said. Reid couldn't understand why he couldn't look after himself. He knew the answer was there but for some reason he couldn't quite put the pieces together.

He decided that he wanted to wake up. Reid opened his eyes but shut them quickly when a strong light assaulted his eyes. Reid turned his head and moaned as he felt a pain rush through his head. He opened his eyes again and was met with two blue eyes. Eyes belonging to Garcia.

"Hey Reid, it's okay now. You are safe now." she smiled at him. Reid gave her a small smile back before he reached for her head and gripped it tight. Garcia gave his hand another squeeze back before she sat back down. Reid was happy that she chose to keep his hand in hers.

"Is..h-he..go-nne?" Reid asked gently.

"He's gone. No-one is going to hurt you again. Just focus on recovering." Morgan told Reid.

Reid closed his eyes and let out a long breath of relief. He remembered the unsub in his room trying to strangle him but he still couldn't remember anything about his kidnapping. It was only after Morgan had told him he was safe again that a true feeling of relief spread through him.

"..otch." Reid suddenly panicked as he remembered Hotch slumped against the chair as the unsub had attacked him.

"He's fine Reid. You've been asleep for about a day. You needed it, he is going to be coming around later to see you." Garcia smiled.

Reid heard his stomach rumble and felt slightly embarassed.

"Sounds like your hungry. Garcia, can you pass me the tray?" Morgan said.

Morgan got the tray from Garcia and placed it on the small table next to Reid's bed. He picked up a spoon and the pot of red jello. Reid went to move his arms but winced as he felt the long cuts in them.

"C-can..you..h-h-help..me..eat?" Reid said ashamed. He hated the fact that he could barely moved his arms.

"Reid. Don't feel ashamed, we don't mind helping you. We are your family and that is why we are here." Morgan explained to Reid. Reid gave him a sad look but then gave him a small smile.

"I-I-I..know, jus..eel...ike..a..ba-by." Reid said slowly as he tried to talk properly. He want to punish himself for failing  
>at the task.<p>

"Reid. You will always be my little juniour g-man." Garcia said sweetly to him. Reid let out a small laugh before his stomach let out another rumble.

Morgan scooped a spoonful of jello out of the pot and lowered it Reid's mouth. Reid opened his mouth and gratefully ate the spoonful on jello. Reid smiled as he tasted the strawberry jello in his mouth. Morgan scooped another spoonful of jello and continued to feed Reid.

**Hotch - one hour later**

Hotch walked in the door and instantly noticed that Reid was stood up. Morgan was helping him put a long sleeved pyjama shirt on.

"Why is he out of bed?" Hotch asked as he noticed Reid sway slightly. Morgan steadied Reid and kept a hand on his back to keep him steady.

"He wanted to get changed, he has no iv's in at the moment so it was the best time to do it. The doctor said it would be good for him if he took a walk too." Morgan explained as he finished helping Reid.

"I'll help him on the walk." Hotch offered as he saw Reid take a few small steps. Reid winced every now and then but managed to get through the pain.

"S-sl-ow..wa-w-alk." smiled Reid as he began to walk slowly towards Reid. Morgan helped support him till he reached Hotch. Hotch put a hand on Reid's back and under his arm as they began to walk outside into the hallway.

"It's great to see you up and about. Reid, I'm so sorry about what he did to you." Hotch apologised quickly. Reid looked up with a scolding look.

"I-t..w-w-was-n't...you..ault. I-I'm..afe..ow.D-d-don't..ant..to..ink..bout it a-any..ore." Reid told Hotch.

Hotch simply nodded and let Reid be. He didn't want to push him on the subject. Not till he was ready.

**Hope that was okay. Please review (You know you want to make me smile)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey I decided that last chapter was bit too short so I thought I would put this chapter up. I hope you enjoy the chapter and thank you again for all your reviews and adds.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two days later**

**Reid**

Reid was feeling happy as he sat down on the bed fully clothed. He was being released from the hospital on the condition that he stayed on bedrest, took his required medication and had someone caring for him. Reid hated the fact that he needed help with smallest things. He couldn't lift his arms properly to feed himself yet and had trouble with holding objects. He was still able to read fast but not at the pace he was used to. He retained the information but it took longer to recall. Every fibre of his being was hoping that most of his problems were temporary, he didn't want to live his life this way forever.

His speech was still troubling him but Reid was happy to know that thrapy sessions and practicing would help his speech. He clung to the fact that Dr. Swann had said his speech could return to normal if he put effort and time into his therapy.

He was willing to put the effort in if it meant he could be the real him again.

"Spencer, are you ready to go?" Dr Swann smiled at him as he entered the room. Emily and Garcia followed Dr Swann in with a wheelchair in front of them. Reid nodded gently at the doctor and smiled.

"Spencer, I want you to use your words." Dr Swann encouraged. Reid closed his eyes and tried to focus on what he wanted to say.

"I-I-m..eady...t-t-to...o." Reid tried to say. He shook his head in fustration and bit his lower lip in embarrasment.

"Spencer, your speech will improve with time and therapy. I want you to keep talking as much as you can and to practise your speech with the cards we gave you. I also want you to take your medication and stay on bed rest. Try and take small walks, try at first for ten minutes and then increase your time when you feel stonger. I want someone to be with you on these walks as you may be a bit unsteady. Do you understand?" Dr Swann enquired.

"Y-yes, I-I..und-er...and." Reid said quietly.

"You have to leave in the wheelchair. It's hospital policy. I'll help you into the chair." Dr Swann told him before he began to help Reid out of the chair. Reid winced as he was gently pulled up from bed. Reid let out a little breath when he got to his feet. Dr Swann held Reid's arms out in front him to avoid irritating the cuts. Reid was happy when he was finally in the chair.

"Thank you for everything Dr. Swann." Garcia thanked as she looked down at Reid.

"It's my job. Agent Prentiss, could I speak with you alone for a moment?" Dr Swann asked Emily.

"Of course."

Emily walked over to the doctor while Garcia began to wheel Reid out of the room. Reid wanted to know what the doctor was saying to Emily but lost sight of them as they entered the corridor.

"Morgan is going to be staying with you and everyone is going to come and visit you. JJ is even going to bring Henry to see you." Garcia explained to Reid.

It was then Reid felt something feel wrong. His brow furrowed as he tried to remember.

"..arcia? S-S-ome-ing..ong." Reid panicked as he closes his eyes tight and tried to fill the blank space.

Garcia stopped the wheelchair and kneeled in front of Reid.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? Are you in pain?" Garcia questioned as she looked up to Reid.

Reid opened his eyes and looked at her with teary eyes.

"W-w-ho's..enry?" Reid cried as he couldn't remember. Garcia's eyes widened before she wiped the tears away from Reid's cheeks.

"He is JJ's son. Your his godfather and I'm his godmother." Garcia explained to Reid. Reid felt guilt flood him as he  
>couldn't remember something so important. He didn't even remember what Henry looked like.<p>

Garcia saw Reid's face and knew what was running through his mind. She had seen the faces too many time before.

"Reid, the doctor told us that you would have gaps in your memory. Do not feel guilty if you can't remember things. You were hurt by a very bad man and he hurt you. I don't want you to feel guilty. We will help you remember." Garcia said as she tried to soothe him.

"J-J..W-w-ill..be..gry.." Reid said in an almost child like voice.

"She won't be angry, she loves you and she won't be angry. I promise." Garcia told Reid.

Reid hoped that she was right. He didn't want JJ being angry at him.

He wondered what else he didn't remember. He wondered what else had been taken from him.

Garcia returned to the back of the chair and started to wheel him out of the hospital. Reid kept his head down the entire time and looked at his lap. He only noticed that they had left the hospital when the ground changed. He looked up when he heard Morgan and Hotch.

**Hotch**

Hotch and Morgan both stopped their conversation when they saw Garcia wheel Reid out. Hotch noticed that he Reid was upset and sad.

"Reid, what is-" Hotch began to say before Garcia cut him off.

"Lets get Reid into the car." Garcia said quickly, she looked at Hot and Morgan. Hotch immediately knew something was wrong. Hotch opened the door to the passenger side door and waited till Garcia pushed Reid as close as she could get him to the car. Hotch held underneath Reid's arms and took Reid's weight as Reid stood up from the chair. Hotch helped into the front seat and strapped him in. Hotch lowered the seat back slightly to relief the pressure of his stomach.

"Reid, just rest. We'll have you home in no time at all." Hotch said to Reid before he closed the door.

"Garcia, why is he so upset? He was so happy earlier on the phone." Morgan said slightly angry.

"I was telling him what was going to happen and I mentioned JJ bringing Henry for a visit. He is upset because I had to tell him to Henry was. He doesn't remember his godson or ever being a godfather. He thinks that JJ will be angry at him." Garcia explained to them before looking at Reid through the window.

"He doesn't remember Henry. I wonder what else he doesn't remember." Hotch wondered.

**What else does he not remember? Stay tuned and please review**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey everyone or should I say hello to all you fantastic and amazing reviewers. You are all brilliant and I can't thank you enough for all your reviews and story adds. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own.  
><strong>

Emily walked out the hospital slightly shaken at the words that doctor had just spoke to her. The sad thing was that she knew the doctor was right.

"What did Dr. Swann want to talk to you about?" Garcia asked as Emily stood near the group. Emily looked at the group sadly for a moment and decided to tell them.

"He told me about Reid. He told me that Reid may not return to how he was before because of the damage. He just wanted to prepare us for what might happen and that we shouldn't expect Reid to magically get better" Emily explained.

"Reid is going to get better" Morgan said sternly. Morgan wanted to punch the doctor for even suggesting that Reid wouldn't get back to normal.

"We have to be serious Morgan. Jay has changed everything for Reid, we need to make sure that Reid is looked after" Hotch told Morgan while Emily and Garcia looked at them both.

"Lets get him home first. Emily, can you give Hotch a lift in your car?" Morgan asked politely.

Emily nodded and Hotch followed her to her car while Morgan and Garcia got into the SUV with Reid. Morgan pulled out of the hospital and began to drive to Reid's apartment.

**Reid - In the car**

Reid looked out of the window and watched cars blur past the window. Reid enjoyed the soothing cold sensation that the glass provided as he laid his head against it. Reid closed his eyes and happily listened to the car radio that Morgan had switched on. Reid was enjoying the soothing tones of Mozart. The music stopped and Reid felt slightly sad. The music was nice and made him feel better. Reid liked the classical music, it was calm and showed almost no pure anger.

Reid listened as the next song came on but felt a shiver run down his spine as he listened to the song. Reid subconsciously let his eyes wander to his hand as the memory assaulted his mind. Flashes ran across his head as he remembered what had happened to his finger. A man in a white mask taunting him...being held on the floor before feeling a cold sensation around his little finger.

Reid winced as he remembered screaming as he felt the cutter sliced through his skin. The cold feeling as his finger was finally torn away.

"Reid? Reid..." a voice echoed through his haze. A small hand came on his shoulder causing him to yelp. Reid looked over to Morgan and saw that Morgan was beginning to pull over.

"K-K..ep..riving" Reid shouted causing Garcia and Morgan to look at him with worried eyes. Morgan did what he was told and continued to drive the car up the street.

"Reid, what is wrong?" Garcia asked from the backseat, she asked as her hand hovered above his shoulder. She was afraid to touch him again in case she scared him.

"M-m-my..c-ch-oice of..m-m-sic is..Be-h-ho-ven" Reid slurred slightly. Reid didn't cry, he couldn't. He just wanted to be  
>alone.<p>

"Reid?" Morgan questioned as he pulled onto the curb outside Reid's apartment building. Garcia whipped off her seatbelt and got out the car. She almost ripped open the passenger side door.

"Reid, what happened? What did you remember?" Garcia asked, her voice filled with fear. Reid stared off into space, he didn't seem to hear what Garcia had said. Garcia took Reid's shoulders and shook them gently. Morgan watched the scene in front of him and felt helpless. Reid still stared foward. He felt he should be remembering more but there was a block there. A great wall keeping him from the memories that had been stolen from him.

"M-M-an..in..t-the..ite..m-ma-sk" Reid whispered before he started to fall back.

**Morgan**

Morgan caught Reid and lowered him back onto the seat. Reid's head lolled to the side.

"Is he okay?" Garcia panicked as she felt Reid's forehead to see if he had a fever. Garcia was happy when she brought her hand away, there was no sign of a fever.

"I think he just passed out. I think he remembered something from his kidnapping. He is going to give me a heart attack soon" Morgan sighed as he looked over at Reid's sleeping form. Morgan turned the engine off and jumped out of the driver seat. He walked round to the passenger side and unbuckled Reid. He saw Emily and Hotch pull up behind the SUV but decided to get Reid back into his apartment. Back to his home.

"Is he okay?" Emily asked as she walked over. Hotch went to the passenger side door.

"He remembered something from his kidnapping. We'll talk upstairs" Morgan explained quickly before he slid an arm under Reid's knees and the other under his back, he was careful to avoid the cuts. Morgan lifted Reid up and was shocked at how light he was. He decided he was going to take the young genius on a major junk food binge when he was better.

Reid's head rolled to rest on Morgan's chest. Morgan noticed the small smile that crept on Garcia's face and knew what was going through her mind. Hotch grabbed the bags from the car and followed Morgan. Emily was there at every door that needed to be opened. Garcia opened Reid's apartment door and held it open for Morgan to come in.

Morgan carried Reid straight into the bedroom, he stopped at the door when he noticed how many books were housed in the bedroom. He felt a small rush of air come past him as Garcia rushed over to the bed and pushed all the pillows together before pushing the cover over. Morgan laid him down on the bed and put his head against the pillows. Garcia covered Reid over with layers of blankets and covers.

"How could anyone hurt him? He has never done anything to hurt anyone" Garcia asked Morgan as she looked at Reid buried under the blankets. He looked so at peace in the bed.

"I don't know Garcia but I won't let anyone hurt him again" Morgan promised as he pushed a stray piece of blanket back up.

"Come on. Let him sleep, we need to tell the others what happened in the car" Garcia said before ushering Morgan out of the room.

**Reid - an hour later**

Reid opened his eyes slowly. He noticed how comfortable he felt, he turned onto his back. He gritted his teeth at the pain the cuts on his back produced. He took a few small deep breaths before he became used to the pain.

Reid lay on the bed in a daze as he replayed the memory of his finger being taken off. He remembered the tape over his mouth preventing him from screaming his true pain. He remembered the feeling of being watched. He wondered who had been watching him, his mind kept the answer away from him.

Then it was there. He knew that there was something he needed to find.

Something he knew would make him feel better.

**I know what you are all thinking.**

**And it is not what you are thinking it is. Tut tut for going there. I'm just teasing.**

**Look out for the next chapter and please review**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone.**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews and story adds, you are all so amazing. I'm sometimes afraid that I'm taking the story at to a slow pace and that it might be too slow. I just wanted to know if any of you think that. I just really want to have Reid recover properly and to show it to you all. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid gritted his teeth as he rose from bed. He struggled as he tried not to use his arms, the deep cuts down his arms were still incredibly painful. Reid shrugged the covers of himself and twisted his legs off the bed. Reid ignored the pain that rushed through him, he didn't want to disturb the others. He just want to find what he needed to make himself feel better.

Reid put his elbow on the small cabinet that was by his bed, he pressed down and stood up. He closed his eyes as a wave of nausea and dizziness came over from.

'Let it pass...deep breaths' Reid thought as he took deep breaths in and out.

He smiled slightly as he opened his eyes. Every thing was still in his vision. Reid walked slowly walked over to his  
>bookshelf and started to scan the books slowly. Part of himself was telling him that he should know exactly where it was, part of mind was screaming at him to stop forgetting and to just remember. Reid looked down and smiled when he saw the book. He reached down with both arms, he was careful not to hurt himself. He pressed the book between his hands and pulled it out from the bookshelf. He carefully held the weight between his hands as he slowly walked back over to the bed.<p>

He felt tired as he neared the bed again but decided against calling them for help. He felt like a burden to them. He was just something that kept them from living their lives.

He wished there was a pill that magically made him get better but he knew was being stupid even thinking of something like that. He wanted to be better again, he wanted to fill the blank spaces that filled his mind.

Reid let the book fall to the bed as he released it from his hands. Reid jumped when a voice interrupted the calm that had been around him. Reid turned his head to the door and saw that Garcia was angry.

"What on earth do you think you are doing? Get back into bed." she ordered as she went over to him. She held his arms out as he sat back down in the bed. Garcia fluffed up the pillows before she let Reid sit against them. Reid sat back against the soft cushion of comfort that Garcia had done for him, he barely felt the cuts on his back. Garcia covered him back over with the covers. Reid noticed that she stopped as she spotted the book. She picked it up and held it up.

"What is this?" Garcia smiled before she sat on the side of the bed with the book still in her hands.

"P-P..lease..open..it." Reid asked as he stared down at the book. Garcia opened the book and let a huge grin spread across her face at what she saw. Reid smiled when he saw her cheer up.

"This is you. You are so tiny." Garcia smiled as she looked at book. Garcia placed herself on the bed and laid next to Reid. Reid felt happier when he saw the photo. The photo was of him when he was about six months old. He was being held by his mother who was smiling back at the camera.

He wanted the book because it was full of photos of him and his mother. He remembered his mother clearly and he liked looking at the photos. He felt better as the photos reminded him of the safer times. His childhood had had some dangerous moments but he tried to ignore those memories. He chose to focus on the good ones.

Reid laughed with Garcia as she flicked through book of photos with him. She stopped when she came across a photo that caught her attention. Reid looked at the photo and smiled at the photo.

"S-s-she..w-as..aving..ood..d-day. I-I did-dn't...kn-know..till..I..eard..cl-ick." Reid told Garcia.

The photo was of Reid sitting in a chair with his head buried in a book.

"How old were you?" Garcia asked.

"E-e-leven." Reid replied. He let out a small yawn and felt his eyes water as he felt tired again.

"Okay my junior g-man, get some sleep and I'll wake you up when it is time to eat." Garcia told him as she got off the bed , she grabbed the covers and pulled them up. Reid closed his eyes and let himself slip into a deep sleep.

**Garcia**

Garcia watched as Reid fell asleep against the pillows. Garcia bent down and kissed his forehead, she couldn't help but feel so motherly around him. She had decided she was going to look after him as long as she could. Garcia couldn't help but take the book of photos with her. Garcia walked into Reid's living room and sat down on the couch.

"Hey my goddess" Morgan smiled as he brought in a hot mug of hot chocolate. He put it down on the table on coaster before sitting next to Garcia.

"Thank you" she smiled before she opened the book again to reveal the picture. It was strange seeing Reid so young.

"Is that Reid?" Morgan asked as he looked at the photo of a little toddler.

"That is our very own junior g-man. He was out of bed getting this when I walked in. He is sleeping but he needs to eat soon so we will have to fix him something up." Garcia said as she gestured to the book.

**Reid - Two hours later**

"Reid, wake up..Reid." a voice said. Reid opened his eyes and moaned as he felt his wounds. He knew it was time to take his medication. Reid looked up and saw Morgan staring at him.

"Time to take your meds and eat something." Morgan smiled. Reid looked to the bedside cabinet and saw a tray of food and a few medication bottles. Morgan helped Reid sit up, Reid cried out for a second when he felt the holes in his stomach hurt. Reid laid upright against the pillows with tears brimming on his eyes.

"I know it hurts. It won't hurt after you take your meds but you have to eat something first." Morgan said to Reid. Reid nodded gently. Morgan sat on the bed with a tray of food, he looked up at Morgan as Morgan grabbed had a forkful of scrambled eggs and held them up.

"A-Am..I..u-use-less?" Reid whispered quietly to Morgan. He felt that way, he felt useless as he couldn't even feed himself properly.

"Reid, you are not useless. Why do you think that?" Morgan asked as he put the fork back down.

"Y-y-you..s-said..I..was..k-k-idnap-ped. W-Why..ould..I..et..th-at..appen?" Reid sobbed as he felt his heart ache with  
>despair and guilt. He felt guilty for making the team look after him.<p>

"Reid, he overpowered you in your car. You didn't let anything happen. Don't you ever feel like that?" Morgan said loudly as he tried to knock some sense into Reid.

"W-w-who..is..the..man..i-in..hite..ask?" Reid asked, he wanted to know who had taken him.

"He was the one who tortured you. What did you remember Reid? What did you remember in the car?" Morgan told Reid before questioning him.

"A..m-man...in..hite..mask. M-my..f-f-inger..a-and..p-p-p-ain" Reid sobbed gently before he gestured to his injured hand.

"How did you remember that?" Morgan asked, he wanted to know what had triggered the memory.

"Th-The..r-rad-io. T-t-he..ong..was..m-m-oon-l-l-ight..son-ata. It-wa-s..B-hoven." Reid explained as best he could. Morgan moved the food back to the bedside cabinet before moving foward and giving Reid a hug. Reid rested against Morgan's shoulder and sobbed gently.

"Reid. Everything is going to be alright. Everything will get better, no-one can hurt you again." Morgan soothed.

**Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Please review**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone. Sorry for the slight delay in posting the chapter. I was watching Near Dark and I gave up trying to write at the same time. **

**Thank you again for all the story adds and the reviews although I was slightly shaken by one but I pushed past it. I just want to tell you the reason I left Reid without his finger. I read all these fanfics and he magically gets better after some brutal torture. I wanted to write a realistic fanfic. **

**Sorry just had to get that out. **

**Enjoy the chapter and please review (they make me smile)**

**All mistakes are my own **

**Two days later**

Reid was laid in bed watching the television. It had been so long since he had watched it, he just wanted to catch up with the world. He flicked through the channels before he settled on the news. Reid barely paid attention to the television, his mind was trying to put the puzzle pieces together but for now all he had were fragments of his abduction. The fragments didn't give him the answers he wanted.

He was now able to move his arms up slightly more but he still needed help lifting things and feeding himself. He couldn't lift the fork to his mouth. He knew that the help was nessecary but he felt useless. He knew that he was showing signs of depression. He remembered reading about depression a few weeks ago. Reid looked over to the door when a knock interrupted his thoughts. He smiled slightly when Garcia poked her head around the door.

"Hey Reid, someone is here to see you. Are you up for a visitor?" Garcia said. Reid nodded gently and gave her a small smile. He liked Garcia being around but he felt guilty after finding out she was giving up her vacation days to look after him.

Reid pushed himself up slightly and sat up against the wall of pillows behind him. He was thankful for the pain medication as it numbed the pain of the movement. Reid was shocked at the person who walked into the room. It was the last person he expected to see.

"D-d-ad." Reid stuttered as he saw his father walk into the room. Reid saw that Garcia was leaving and panicked slightly.

"..arcia!" Reid shouted. Garcia came back into the room instantly and was by Reid's side immediately. William Reid jumped slightly when he heard Reid shout.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Garcia said as she looked at Reid.

"S-s-st-ay, pl-ease." Reid pleaded.

"I'll stay, I'm not going anywhere. Your dad came to see you. He heard about what happened to you." Garcia explained to Reid before William a small smile.

"Hey Spencer. How are you feeling?" William asked as he took a seat on the side of the bed. Reid tensed up at the action. His father wasn't someone he trusted fully. He only trusted those that had been there for him, his father was not one those people.

"F-f-f-ine" Reid said quietly before he looked up at his father. His father hadn't changed a lot.

'It must be easy to live life when you leave your family' Reid thought as he felt anger bubble inside him.

The anger wanted to be released but Reid didn't have the energy to let it out.

"Okay" William nodded. William turned his attention to Garcia.

"What is wrong with his speech?" William asked Garcia. Garcia looked at Reid and noticed that he was just staring down at the covers.

"He has some brain damage. He has Aphasia but its only affecting his speech, it isn't as bad as it could have been. In more severe cases it is hard for those with Aphasia to understand other people but Reid can understand us fine. He knows what he wants to say but he can't say it properly. He has to undergo some speech therapy and hopefully we will get his speech back to normal or at least better" Garcia explained to William Reid, she watched as William digested the information about Reid.

"How bad is the brain damage?" William asked as he looked at Reid who was still looking down at the covers.

"He has some memory loss and he reads slightly slower than before. He remembers the information he reads but it takes longer to bring up the information. We just need to keep an eye on him and watch out for further signs. He experiences headaches. I'm caring for him Mr Reid, he is in safe hands" Garcia explained before she tried to give Mr Reid some reassurance.

"I have no doubt that he is in good hands. Spencer, I know you are not fine. You need to tell me how you really feel" William said to Reid.

Reid looked up at William with cold eyes. Reid didn't want his father near him.

"L-L-eave. Y-you..ever..elped...me..b-be-fore. Y-you..l-l-eft..us. G-go and d-d-on't c-c-ome..ack." Reid said angrily before he hit his head against he pillows in fustration. He wanted to talk normally again.

William looked hurt at Reid's words.

"Get better soon Spencer. Call me if you need anything. I'm sorry I upset you." William quickly apologised before he quickly walked out of the bedroom.

Garcia ran out of the room after William. She managed to catch him before he left the apartment.

"He didn't mean it. He is just dealing with a lot. I'll call you when he is doing a bit better. You could come back then." Garcia said quickly as she tried to diffuse the situation.

"Miss Garcia, he has hated me since the day I left and I don't blame him. I wasn't strong enough to be there for him and Diana. Call me if anything happens with him though or if he needs any help. I'm sorry that I upset him and I want to thank you for looking after him. Goodbye." William said before he left the apartment.

Garcia stood there in shock for a moment before she marched back into Reid's bedroom.

"He was trying to help you, he was making an effort Reid. I know you are hurt and you are fustrated but you didn't have to take it out on your father." Garcia almost shouted at Reid, she kept herself in control though.

"I-I-Im..ick..of..ever-y..one..try-ing..to..help. I..wi-sh..y-you..h-had..et..me..die." Reid shouted before he slumped down in the bed again.

"I need a break." Garcia gasped before she stormed out of the room.

**I hope that was okay and that you enjoyed it. Please review and new chapter up tomorrow**


	22. Chapter 22

**Here is the chapter I promised. **

**Enjoy and get those reviews in (I'm sorry I'm a bit hyper even though its 1.40 am)**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Enjoy!**

Morgan was leaving work for the day when his cell phone began to vibrate and ring. Morgan smiled slightly when he saw Garcia's name flash up on his screen. He flipped it open to answer it.

"Hey baby girl. Is everything alright?" Morgan asked as he entered the elevator and pressed for the parking levels. He frowned when Garcia began to speak. Her voice sounded pained and upset.

"Can you come and look after Reid for a little while? I just need a break" she said quickly before letting out a long breath.

"Baby girl, I'll be straight over. I was on my way anyway. What is wrong? Why are you upset?" Morgan questioned as he heard Garcia moving things about.

"His father came over to see how he was. Reid got so angry. Mr Reid was trying to make an effort, he just wanted to make sure Reid was okay or at least doing better. Mr Reid left and I went back into the room and asked Reid why he acted that way. Reid said he was sick and tired of being treated like a baby. He said he wished that he said he wished we had let him die" Garcia sobbed gently down the phone.

"I'm coming now. I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm sorry he upset you. I'm on my way" Morgan said. He was angry at Reid but at the same time he knew he couldn't feel that way. He knew that Reid had been through a lot and that he felt broken.

He just needed to focus on helping Garcia get a break.

**Half an hour later**

Morgan knocked on the door, it was swiftly opened to reveal a sad and upset Garcia. He dropped his bag on the floor and hugged her. Morgan kissed the top of her head and ran a hand over her back in circles to soothe her.

"I'll take over Garcia. Go home and get some rest, I'll call you if anything changes" he told her before letting her out of the hug. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear. He was happy when he saw her instantly smile back art him.

"I'll be back tomorrow. I just need some space to breath and think." Garcia said before she picked up her bag and started to leave.

Morgan watched her leave, he closed the door behind her and made a mental note to call her later to check up on her. Morgan put his bag on the sofa before he looked at his watch. Reid needed to take his medication in thirty minutes. He walked into the bedroom and saw that Reid was outside on the balcony resting against the railing and looking at the landscape. Garcia had explained to Morgan that Reid needed someone with him when he walked. Reid needed to stop disobeying the doctors orders.

"Reid, you need to come back inside. It's cold and we need to talk" Morgan practically ordered, he needed to make Reid understand that the team was only there to help.

"N-N-No. I-I...anna..tay..out..ere" Reid spat back slowly. Morgan could see that Reid was starting to feel the cold, he could see Reid shaking as the wind whipped around him.

"You are going to make youself sick. I need to talk to you. You upset Garcia by saying what you said" Morgan said to Reid, he made sure he kept his voice even though. He didn't want any anger on his part to trigger Reid's memory.

"I-I..j-j-ust..wan..to.e..eft..a-l-lone" Reid said angrily though gritted teeth. He turned around and began to walk slowly to the bed. Morgan came to his side but Reid shrugged Morgan hands off him. Morgan held his hands at his side and let Reid walk to the bed.

Reid stopped for a moment and closed his eyes before he shook his head slightly. Morgan watched him carefully. He rushed forward and grabbed under Reid's arms as Reid knees gave way and he started to fall to the floor.

"Woah..Reid! I got you. This is what you get being a stubborn ass" Morgan said as he took Reid's weight. He lifted Reid up carefully and placed him back on the bed. He stopped when he noticed Reid's eyes were closed.

"Reid...Reid!" Morgan said loudly before giving Reid's cheek a small tap on the cheek before giving Reid's shoulders a shake.

"I-I-I'mmm...ff..ine. Jus..g-got..ight..eaded" Reid slurred before he opened his eyes slightly.

"The doctor told you to take it easy and that you needed help when you were up and about. Get back under the covers" Morgan sighed as he helped Reid get back under the covers. Reid winced at the cuts on his back but ignored the pain. He didn't want to look weak again.

"I-I..on'..are..any..more" Reid slurred again before turning his head back into the pillow.

"You need to care Reid. Where is the Reid that wanted to get better and back to normal? Once you get better you will feel better. Where is that Reid?" Morgan asked him trying to help him.

"H-eee's..go-ne."

"How much sleep have you gotten?" Morgan asked as he looked at the dark circles under Reid's. He would pick up the conversation with Reid later. He hoped he could cheer him up later or find something that would.

"N-No...t..uch. I..wa..nna..know...appened..to..e" Reid asked with tired eyes.

Reid was sick of having barely any memory of what happened to him. Hotch had told him that there was a camera. Reid wanted to see the footage. He wanted to remember so he didn't have to feel the dark empty spaces in his mind.

"Trust me when I tell you that you would be better not remembering what happened to you. I saw what happened to you, at least some of it. I would give anything not to have those memories." Morgan said, he saw Reid look at him with pained eyes.

"I..w-want..to..sss..ee" Reid demanded.

"I'll talk to the others but I think you are making the wrong decision. I'm going to go make you something to eat and then you have to take your medication. Do you want anything?" Morgan told Reid.

"T-tele..is..ion" Reid said before he pointed to the remote control. Morgan switched on the television before he handed Reid the remote.

**Reid**

Reid watched Morgan leave the room, he turned his attention back to the television and switched back on the news. Reid laid against the wall of pillows on his bed and felt dead. The future looked dark and lonely for him. He didn't know if he could ever go back to the BAU or if he would ever be able to function normally again.

Reid whimpered as he felt a headache come again. He grabbed his head at the sides and felt the headache get bigger. Reid looked down and noticed red drops on his sheets. Reid noticed two more drop down before he brought his hand to his nose. Reid brought his hand away and saw it smeared with blood.

**Next chapter up tomorrow. Please review.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter as promised. Do I ever disappoint.**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

**All mistakes are my own**

**Please review  
><strong>

Reid barely noticed the pain from his arm as his headache began to hurt him. He felt like someone was driving a needle into his brain. He ignored the pain in his arm as he brought the back of his hand up to his nose. His eyes widened as he saw that his nose was still bleeding heavily.

"M-M-organ!" Reid yelled. Morgan bolted back into the room but stipped at the sight of all the blood.

"Reid! What the hell happened?" Morgan panicked as he grabbed a handle of tissue and put them against Reid's nose. Reid whimpered as the sharp pain hit his head again. Morgan held the tissue under Reid's nose and grabbed his cellphone with the other hand. He dialled Dr. Swann's number and prayed that the man answered his phone.

"Swann speaking" Morgan heard as his phone call was answered.

"Dr. Swann, this is Agent Derek Morgan, I'm Spencer Reid's friend and I'm taking care of him. He's having a heavy nose bleed and I think he is having pain in his head" Morgan said down the phone before he put it on speaker and put it on the bedside table.

"Is he showing any signs of seizing? Is he bleeding from anywhere else?" Dr Swann said calmly but urgently down the phone. Reid started to breath slightly easier. Morgan noticed that Reid was no longer gripping the side of his head.

"No and no, he is actually looking a bit better. His nose is slowing but still bleeding" Morgan told the doctor.

"I can make a house call and check on Spencer. I don't think that it is anything major but I think he may be having a  
>reaction to one of his medications. I have the address on file and I'll be there in about twenty minutes. The nose bleed should stop soon. Don't give him any medication till I arrive" Dr Swann ordered.<p>

"I'll see you in twenty doc" Morgan said before he disconnected the call.

Morgan looked back down to Reid. Reid was breathing in and out slowly and now had his arms out in front of him. Morgan grabbed another handful of tissues and put the bloody tissue on the table.

"Dr Swann is coming here to check up on you" Morgan told him.

Reid groaned in reply before he started to close his eyes.

"Hey Reid, you need to stay awake" Morgan shouted and tapped Reid lightly on his cheek. Reid opened his up wide again and looked at Morgan.

"Jus..ired" Reid mumbled before laying his head against the pillows.

**Twenty minutes later**

Reid sipped the water from the cup that Morgan was holding near his mouth slowly. Dr Swann had arrived a few minutes after his nose bleed had stopped. He felt light headed but knew it was because of his nose bleed, he had felt worse. Much worse. Reid watched as the doctor placed the stethoscope on Reid's chest and back, he breathed in and out as he was instructed. The doctor checked all his bandages and seemed happy with how his cuts were healing. The doctor checked all his vitals and gave Reid a small smile.

"I think that you had a reaction to one of the medication. I'm going to prescribe an alternative for you but due to the small rash on your stomach I think that it was the medication. All of your cuts seem to be healing nicely. You have a therapy session in a few days but I want to ask you something. How have you been feeling? I want the truth now" Dr Swann smiled as he put away his equipment and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Dr Swann ignored the blood on the sheets and knew that Spencer's friend would clean the young man up when he was gone.

"I-I-I...ine" Reid said before putting a fake smile on his face.

"Spencer, Derek told me about how you have been acting. I think that by what he has told me that you are suffering some behavioural changes and depression. How have you been feeling?" Dr Swann said with a stern voice.

"Emmmmpty..and...elp..l-less" Reid said with a wobble to his voice, he kept the tears away though. He was tired of crying and looking weak in front of everyone.

"Have you remembered anything about being kidnapped?" Dr Swann asked.

Reid nodded his head but refused to speak about the memories. He didn't want to tell the doctor. He knew the doctor was only there to help but he still didn't fully trust the man. He didn't fully trust anyone, not even his own team in some ways but he couldn't pin point why he didn't trust them.

"Dr Swann, he wants to see what happened to him but I don't think it is such a good idea. Some of his abduction was recorded and we have it. I wanted your opinion on what we should do" Morgan asked.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. At least not at this time, it would be better if he remembered on his own" Dr Swann said before turning to Reid.

"Spencer you don't know what the memories could do to you. I want you to recover more and when you are doing better and thinking straight you can decide then. I know things seem dark at the moment but I promise things will get brighter" Dr Swann smiled as he tried to cheer Reid up. Reid didn't smile back, he let out a loud yawn as he began to feel a wave of slumber engulf him.

"Get some rest Spencer. I think we can remove the stitches when you come for your therapy session in a few days. I want you to get some rest once you get cleaned up. I'll see you soon" Dr Swann ordered gently before he got up and left the room. Morgan followed the doctor into the living room and spoke with him.

"Are you sure he is going to be okay?" Morgan asked, he was worried that doctor might be wrong. He just want confirmation.

"He had a reaction to one of the medications, I'll make sure he has a new medication prescribed. I would advise that you take him out for some air. I would use a wheelchair though. Just keep an eye on him, if he shows any signs of wanting to hurt himself I want you to bring him in. He seems so innocent, I'm sorry that this happened to him" Dr Swann said sadly before he opened the door to leave.

"He was really happy before all this happened. I don't know what to do when he talks about being depressed. What am I supposed to do?" Morgan asked before looking down as everything began to pile on him.

"I know it is difficult but you have to be there for him. Just remind him of how things used to be. My personal advice is not to let him remember what happened to him. I'm telling you that as a person, not a doctor" Dr Swann said with a serious tone before walking out the door.

**Next chapter tomorrow. Please review**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey everyone. Here is another chapter for you all. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan walked into the kitchen, he filled up a bowl with warm water and grabbed some cloths from the kitchen draw. He put the bowl of warm water and cloths on the table in the living room. He made his way back into the room and saw Reid staring at ceiling. Morgan pushed the covers off Reid and pushed them to the floor, he would change them after he had cleaned up Reid.

Reid didn't even flinch when Morgan moved the covers. Morgan didn't like how distant Reid had been. He missed the old Reid, the Reid that would spout out random statistics. He even missed the pranks that Reid used to play.

"Reid, I need to get all this blood off you. I'm going to take you to the sofa outside. Do you want to walk?" Morgan asked Reid.

"N-Nahhhh...t-tired" Reid moaned before he turned his bloody face into the pillow. Morgan sighed slightly before he hooked his arms under Reid and lifted him up. Reid leaned against Morgan's chest till he was laid down on the couch. Morgan grabbed a new t shirt and helped Reid get out of the one currently covered in blood. Reid just accepted the help and kept staring ahead.

"We are going to go out tomorrow. The doctor said that you need some fresh air" Morgan said before he dampened a cloth and began to wipe the blood from Reid's face, neck and hands. Morgan didn't mind helping Reid but it was hard for him to accept that Reid had stopped fighting. He was the one person Morgan thought would never stop fighting. Morgan finished wiping the blood away. He noticed that Reid looked pale and decided that he needed some rest. He grabbed a large thick blanket and covered Reid up.

"Get some sleep Reid" Morgan said before he walked back into the kitchen with the now red stained bowl. He was about to wash them but stopped when someone knocked on the door.

He went to the door was surprised to see Hotch and Rossi at the door.

"What are you doing here?" Morgan asked as he opened the door further to let them in. Hotch and Rossi walked in and were slightly surprised when they saw Reid asleep on the couch.

"Lets talk in the kitchen" Morgan said quietly as he closed the door gently. Hotch and Rossi followed Morgan, their attention immediately focused on the bloody wash cloths.

"Morgan, did something happen?" Hotch asked urgently.

"Reid had a severe reaction to one of his medications. He had a heavy nose bleed, I have to clean up the bed before he can sleep in it again. The doctor came over and advised that Reid get some fresh air. He changed his medication" Morgan explained before he sat on one of the stools and rubbed a hand over his head.

"Where is Garcia?" Rossi asked as he noticed her absence.

"She was upset and needed a break. She is at home" Morgan said.

"Why was she upset?" Hotch said.

"Reid's father came to see Reid. Garcia said he was making an effort to talk to Reid but Reid lost it and yelled at him to get out. Garcia came back to speak with Reid. He said that he wished we had let him die. Garcia called me and was upset. Hotch, he is just broken. He barely talks to us and he is depressed. I just don't know what to do anymore" Morgan said as he released all the fustration he felt at the situation.

"I'll stay with him tonight Morgan. You can't do everything. Go home" Rossi ordered gently.

"No, I promised I would look after him. I need to stay" Morgan argued back weakly.

"Morgan. Go home, that is an order" Hotch ordered more sternly.

"Just keep an eye on him. Call me if anything happens. I'll be back in the morning" Morgan sighed before he left for the night.

**Later in the night**

Rossi was sat on the sofa reading. He looked up at the clock and watched it tick over to three am. Hotch had left hours ago after helping Rossi clean the bead and replace the covers. Reid didn't stir when they moved him back to the bed. Rossi was about to close his book when he heard a scream come from Reid's room. Rossi raced into the room to find Reid screaming and crying in his sleep. Rossi ran over to Reid and tried to wake him up.

"Reid! REID!" Rossi yelled as he shook Reid's shoulders. Reid stop screaming and moving and his eyes opened suddenly. He gasped as he tried to catch his breath.

"B-b-box. I..ould-dn't...bre-eath" Reid cried as he found himself unable to focus on anything.

"Did you remember something? It's over now, you are safe. Calm down" Rossi instructed. He watched Reid calm down. Rossi hated to see Reid looking so scared. The innocent Reid he knew was disappearing, the reid that dressed up every halloween was fading.

"H-H-e...k-killed..m-me. Th-Th...ere..was..no..air. I-I-I..d-died and...e..ought..me...ack" Reid gasped and cried as he recalled his nightmare. He knew it was memory as everything had seemed familiar. He had been stuck on a box as the man in the white mask put something in the air holes. He remembered screaming and fighting before he couldn't breath.

He remembered darkness and then the rush of life coming over him.

Rossi couldn't speak after what Reid had just told him. Rossi realised that Reid had remembered something that the team had not seen. He couldn't believe that the unsub had suffocated Reid. He was going to kill Henson, he was going to speak with Henson the next day. He was going to make sure the bastard never saw daylight again.

He wondered if this was how Hotch had felt when he had stormed into the BAU.

"I'm sorry Reid. We didn't know he had done that. Go back to sleep. You need to rest" Rossi soothed as he ran his hand through Reid's hair.

Reid was like a son to him. He had never had the chance to be a father and he knew Reid had never really had a father. He just hoped he could help Reid.

"I-I..on't..w-wanna" Reid said in child like voice.

"You need to sleep" Rossi told him. Reid shook his head and looked scared.

"T-Talk...to..me. Tellll...meee..abb-out..when..y-you..worked..at...B-A-U. B-Be-fore..you..came..back" Reid asked.

Rossi sighed and decided to give in. He knew Reid needed rest but he couldn't force the young man.

"Okay. I'll tell you. For starters, we didn't have a jet.." Rossi began to say as he recalled his memories of the early years of the BAU.

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next chapter up tomorrow or possibly tonight.**

**Please review**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey everyone. I am so sorry that is so short but I wanted to post something. My brain is running on fumes at the moment as I can't sleep and I have been up 34 hours straight. I hate not being able to sleep. **

**I will do extra long chapters for tomorrow and Monday as an extra 'I'm sorry'.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Rossi watched as Reid fell back to sleep. He was surprised that Reid had not fell sooner. He had been talking for about over an hour about the beginning days on the BAU. Reid had even joined in the conversation on some occassions. Rossi was happy that Reid had enjoyed the conversation. Rossi carefully got off the bed and made his way back into the living room. Rossi laid down on the sofa and let sleep take him.

**Morning**

Hotch, Morgan and Garcia arrived at the apartment at 9.00am. It was the weekend and they would only have to go into work if a case came up urgently. Garcia was carrying a trayful of coffee as she approached the apartment, she spotted Morgan and Hotch at the door and gave them a smile.

"Morning, would you two like some coffee?" Garcia offered as they walked into Reid's apartment. Hotch declined while Morgan took a cup off the tray.

"Thanks Garcia, you are an angel" Morgan smiled at her. All three stopped as they entered at the sight they saw. Reid was sat on the sofa with his feet resting on a foot stool, he was laughing at the television. Rossi walked into the living room with Reid's breakfast, he put the breakfast on the table and smiled at the others. Reid continued watching the television, he barely registered the new visitors.

"Morning guys. Go into the kitchen and I'll be in once I've given Reid his breakfast" Rossi advised as he picked up the bowl of porridge and scooped a spoonful.

"See you in a minute" Hotch said before he beckoned the others to go into the kitchen.

**Kitchen**

Hotch and Morgan looked at each other with confusion while Garcia was smiling like a cheshire cat. Her heart had leapt when she had heard Reid laugh. She thought that she would never hear Reid laugh like that again. The laugh gave her hope that Reid would get back to normal.

"He seems happier" Hotch observed before another laugh filled the apartment.

"I know he is only watching television but he seems happier this morning. He seems less depressed" Garcia beamed as she pulled a cup of coffee from the cardboard tray.

"Do you think he is well enough to have some coffee? He must be craving it by now" Garcia asked Hotch and Morgan.

"I think that a little wouldn't hurt. He seems better this morning. Ask Rossi first though" Morgan advised before taking a seat on one of the kitchen stools.

Garcia picked up a cup of coffee and made her way into the living room. She let out a small laugh when she saw Rossi feeding Reid his breakfast. Reid was staring intently at the television and let out a small laugh every now and then.

"Hey Rossi. How is he doing?" Garcia asked.

"He seems a lot happier after we talked last night but he remembered something else. Something that we didn't see" Rossi said before his eyes fell on the cup of coffee.

"He can have some but not too much" Rossi said almost as if he had read Garcia's mind. Garcia looked up to Reid, the show on the television ended and he looked up to see Garcia. He smiled slightly before Rossi fed him another spoonful of porridge.

"Hey Reid. Do you want some coffee?" Garcia asked kindly. Reid nodded his head slowly. Garcia walked around and sat on the sofa next to Reid. She put the coffee on his lips and let him take a sip. Reid turned his head away from the coffee and grimaced.

"Co-ff-ee..is..gus-ting" Reid grimaced.

Garcia and Rossi looked at him shocked. Reid loved coffee and now he hated it. They hated to see the consequence as Reid's coffee addiction was one of his strangest traits.

They both wondered what else could have changed.

**Extra long chapter tomorrow. Please review**


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm a bit behind with my writing but I didn't want to leave you all without a chapter.**

**Thank you all again for the amazing reviews and story adds. You are all brilliant.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Rossi turned the television off causing Reid to glare at him. The smile on Reid's face had now disappeared and he had returned to his previous miserable state. Rossi sighed as he watched Reid stare into space again. He knew that Reid was only going through different moods because of the brain damage. Rossi had noticed Reid's attitude change back and forth between happy and calm to depressed and suicidal during the times that he had been awake. Rossi grabbed a few medication bottles from the table and took Reid's dosage out of each of them. Reid took the medication without complaint before Rossi made him drink half a glass of water.

"I'm going to go into the kitchen. We will be back in a minute" Rossi told Reid before he patted Reid's knee. Reid nodded before leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes.

Rossi ushered the Garcia into the kitchen and put the glass in the sink.

"He doesn't like coffee anymore. He has always loved coffee. Why doesn't he like coffee?" Garcia panicked as she realised that Reid had changed. Morgan grabbed her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. Garcia took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

"How was he last night?" Morgan asked, he himself had only managed a few hours of sleep. His dreams had been turned into nightmares filled with Reid being hanged. He had also worried about the young man all night. It didn't seem right in his mind that he could sleep so peacefully while Reid was lost.

"He had a nightmare and remembered something from his kidnapping. He remembered something that we didn't see. He told me that the unsub sealed him in box and suffocated him till he stopped breathing. The sick bastard killed Reid and then brought him back. I managed to calm him back down after about an hour" Rossi told them quickly not wanting to linger on what Reid had told him.

"He killed him. Oh Reid" Garcia gasped before she sat down on a stool.

"How did you calm him down?" Hotch asked as he tried to block the memories of seeing Reid hanging from the rope covered in blood. Hotch managed to push the memories back. He wished he could erase them but he knew they would always be there. They had a permanent home in his mind along with all the other horrors he had seen during his time at the BAU.

"He asked me to tell him about the first days of the BAU, the days before we had a private jet to take us to the crime scene. He was really happy when I told him about back then. He fell asleep and he woke up this morning feeling a bit down. Something is not right with him. I know he going to have behavioural changes but part of me thinks that he is hiding something. I can see it in his eyes and I don't like it" Rossi explained.

Rossi knew that Reid was hiding something, he was hiding something that he didn't want the others to know about.

"What do you think he is hiding?" Morgan questioned. He didn't want Reid to keep secrets from them. Morgan had felt that too many serets had been kept within the team lately.

"I have no idea but it is something he is determined not to tell us. We need to gently ask him but I don't think today is the day. He needs a day of calm. He needs a day filled with just good" Rossi replied.

"We came over to take him down to park for some fresh air. JJ and Emily are going to meet us there as well. Henry is coming along. Do you think Reid will be able to handle that?" Garcia told Rossi before she took a sip of her coffee.

"He needs to get out the apartment. Henry should be fine around Reid, we just have to keep an eye on them when they interact" Hotch said sternly.

"I'll get him ready then. How are we going to get him around the park?" Rossi quizzed.

"We brought a wheelchair with us. We just have to get him down to the car and he should be fine from there" Garcia smiled sadly.

Rossi left the kitchen to get Reid ready. He really hoped that Reid would feel better after today.

**One hour later - The park**

Reid felt helpless again as he was being pushed in the wheelchair through the park by Morgan. He sighed as he was park near a bench. Reid had to admit that it was nice to be outside and in the fresh air. The sun felt nice on his pale skin and he felt better. Garcia had packed a bag for a picnic that was filled with enough food to feed three armies in his view.

Morgan would ask him how he felt every five minutes. Reid knew he only meant well but it was starting to annoy Reid. He didn't like burdening the team with his problems. He just wanted to be left alone. Why couldn't they understand that?

"Uncle pencer!" someone said happily. Reid looked up and saw a young child running towards him with JJ running at the young child's side. The child stopped at Reid's side and smiled at him.

"Mummy said you were good now. You not ill any more" the child smiled at him before putting a teddy bear on Reid's lap.

JJ stepped foward and looked at Reid. Garcia had told her about Reid not remembering Henry or ever being Henry's godfather. She looked at Reid and saw panic and confusion in his eyes. She knelt down and took Reid's hand, she stroked her thumb over his skin in a soothing motion.

"Spence, this is Henry. He is my son and your godson. He came to see you, he wanted to know if he could spend some time with you" JJ told Reid kindly.

Reid looked at the young boy and found no spark of recognition. He was surprised at JJ, he thought that she was going to be angry at him. He was supposed to remember everything yet he found himself forgetting the most important things. Things that a normal person should remember.

Reid knew he wasn't normal anymore. He never had been but he would never be the same. It wasn't fair.

**Hope that was okay. Look out for the next chapter. Enjoy**


	27. Chapter 27

**Thank you all so much for the reviews. I've been having a rough week and they have really cheered me up. Thank you for keeping my spirits up and thank you all for the reviews again. **

**Many of you are asking if Reid is going to have a happy ending. Well...I guess you will have to keep reading to find out. (I'm such a tease).**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid had been wheeled over to a small bench looking over large pond. Garcia had Henry sat on her lap with JJ next to them. Reid looked over to them for a moment before he looked back out at the pond. It was then that he imagined what would happen if he went into the pond. He imagined wheeling himself into it while no one was watching. He knew it would hurt them but he just thought of how peaceful he would be after.

It felt like the only way to free his friends from the burden of looking after him. It felt the like the only way to forget  
>the brutal memories that kept invading and destroying his mind. The last hour had been filled with him sitting in the chair looking at everyone else enjoying themselves. He had stayed away from Henry as much as he could. He didn't want to hurt his feelings by not remembering him.<p>

A large chunk of himself wanted to end it all. He was ignoring the part that was screaming at him to buck up and get over the pain. It was the part of himself that clawed for freedom. Reid had decided to just ignore it. He was going to be like this for the rest of his life.

It had been his intellect and quick ability to profile that had given him access to the FBI. He knew he couldn't go back  
>there now. He was nothing special anymore, he was broken.<p>

The FBI wouldn't want a sad man who was broken in their ranks.

"Reid. We are going back over to the group," Garcia smiled as she handed Henry back over to JJ. Garcia began to make her way to Reid's chair when he stopped her.

"W-W-Want..to..e..lone. C-can youuuu...eave..m-me..he-here?" Reid said before turning away from Henry. Reid imagined that the child was thinking of him as a freak.

"Okay, we'll be over at the table. I'll come back soon," Garcia said sadly before she started to with JJ and Henry back over to the bench where the group was.

Reid looked at the pond and was entranced by the glimmer of the water. He decided it was time to end the nightmares. It was time to stop disappointing everyone. It was time to die like he should have done before. Reid ignored the screaming pain in his arms as he put his hands on the wheels of his chair and started to go forward.

**Morgan**

Morgan was laying the plates on the picnic table while Rossi placed the food on the table. He looked up and saw Garcia, JJ and Henry walking towards the table. Morgan was happy that the park wasn't busy, it meant that they could spend peaceful time together.

"Where is Reid?" Morgan asked as he finished putting the last plate down.

"He wanted to be alone. He is still by the bench, I will go get him in minute. He just needs some time to think," Garcia told Morgan. JJ had taken Henry over to the swings to play. Emily and Rossi were getting everything ready while Hotch was drinking a soda.

"He is completely different. I thought coming out today would be good for him but he has barely spoken a word to any of us and he has stayed away from Henry. He just sits and stares," Morgan sighed. Hotch looked at Morgan and knew he was right.

"He is starting therapy soon. Hopefully that will help," Hotch said hopefully.

"We just have to hope he gets better. Perhaps when he gets a bit better we can take him to see his mother. He always listens to her," Garcia suggested. Morgan walked over to his large bag and started to stuff his jacket inside.

"I think that would be a good idea. He still needs some time to heal," Hotch agreed before he looked over to Morgan and noticed Morgan's posture stiffen.

"Morgan?" Hotch said confused. Hotch got up from his seat on the bench and walked over to Morgan. Hotch looked over to the pond and saw Reid painfully wheeling himself towards the water.

Hotch and Morgan both realised what he was trying to do and sprinted towards him

**Reid**

Reid let out a little moan as the pain ripped through his arms again. He was scared at the thought of drowning but it  
>comforted him more to know that after the pain of drowning, he would feel no more pain.<p>

Reid was almost hypnotised by the water as he came to the edge. He was entranced by the water that would be his death.

Reid grunted as his chair was ripped back from the edge. He felt his heart break as he was dragged away from it. He had failed again. Why did he fail at everything?

Morgan walked in front of Reid and grabbed his shoulders and shook him in anger. Reid cried out before he closed his mouth. He ignored the cuts on his back.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" Morgan yelled at Reid. Reid started to sob and shake in front of them.

"Y-Y-Youuu...sh-should..ave..et..me..do..it," Reid cried. Reid's breathing became heavier and heavier causing Hotch to crouch in front of him with Morgan.

"We care about you Reid! You can't let thoughts of killing yourself rule you. You are being selfish and you are destroying us. We want you to get better but you keep pushing us away. Imagine how we would feel if you were gone," Hotch said angrily before he put his hand on Reid's. Reid ripped his hand away from Hotch.

"Calm down Reid. You are going to hyperventilate. Take a deep breath," Morgan instructed. Reid didn't miss the anger laced in his voice though.

"I-I-I..ate..you," Reid shouted viciously.

"You may hate us but we, your family, love you." Hotch said.

**No work tomorrow so look out for next chapter tomorrow. Please review**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone, I know this is short but I have been unexpectedly busy today. Thank you all so much agian for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter. As I am writing this chapter I am watching 'Penelope' episode of criminal minds. Love it.**

**Look out for the twist**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own  
><strong>

**Three days later**

Reid was silent all the way to the hospital. He had been in bed for the last few days simply sleeping and reading. He had refused to speak with anyone on the team when they tried to speak to him. Reid knew that he was going to be in trouble with his doctor. Hotch had told the doctor what he had tried to do.

He hated them all. They wouldn't leave him alone. He just wanted to escape from the world. Reading his books allowed him some form escape but they didn't help in the way that he wanted. He wanted to be normal again.

He hated Hotch for helping him gain access to the BAU. He thought about the different scenarios that his life could have been. He could have done so much more with his life but for some insane reason he had chosen to be a profiler. He had thrown himself into danger. Reid had been offered so many oppurtunites but he had been convinced to join the BAU. He hated Gideon as well. He hated the man that had thrown him into the BAU to be his protege and then had just left.

They were both the reason for his capture at the hands of the BAU. They were responsible for his lost memories and broken mind.

Reid was drawn from his thoughts by Garcia's hand on his. He looked at it and then looked over to her. It was strange to Reid in some ways, he couldn't feel strong anger towards Garcia. She was always kind and only trying to help. He felt anger at the others but with her it was different.

"Time to go to your therapy session" Garcia smiled before she unclipped her seatbelt and left the car. Hotch and Morgan helped Reid out of the car but they didn't have to give him so much help. They saw that Reid was getting better physically but they knew he was declining mentally.

Reid ignored a few stares that were cast his way as Hotch helped him walk to his appointment. They didn't want him to use the wheelchair, it brought memories back to them that they didn't want to remember. They were an hour early after Dr Swann asked them to be.

"Hello Spencer, I want to remove some of your stitches and check your cuts before you go to your appointment. Is that okay?" Dr Swann smiled at him. Reid nodded a yes before he started to walk towards the room. Hotch began to walk into the room when Reid turned around and stopped him.

"D-dooo..it..lone" Reid snapped at him before he walked into the room.

"I'll talk to him" Dr Swann smiled before he walked into the room and closed the door.

Reid sat down on the bed and let out a weary breath. He felt tired but he felt stronger than he normally did.

"How are you feeling Spencer?" Dr Swann asked before he walked over to a tray and grabbed something that Reid couldn't see.

"F-F-f...ine" Reid lied before putting his head back down.

"I know that is a lie Spencer. Agent Hotchner told me about what you tried to do. I need to know what you are feeling. It will help me treat you" Dr Swann said more sternly. Reid flinched slightly at the tone. He felt something wrong with how the doctor was speaking to him. He decided to answer him honestly. He couldn't trust his mind anymore or even his profiling abilities.

"J-J-ust...eel..use-less. I-I-I..ust..w-want-t-ted to esssscape" Reid said quietly. He played with a piece of loose strong on his jacket.

"I can understand why you would want it to end but not the way you chose to do it. The way in which you tried to kill yourself was...pathetic" Dr Swann mocked him before he smiled again at Reid.

Reid looked up and immediately knew something was wrong. Doctors were supposed to tell you not to do it, this doctor was mocking him.

"W-W-hat..d-d-o...you..ean?" Reid said scared.

"I thought you might have wanted to hang yourself. I mean that was the way that Jay tried to end you life. Why not honour him?" Dr Swann grinned at him.

Reid went to scream but didn't have enough time as Dr Swann pushed him down on the bed and put a hand over his mouth. Reid whimpered against the hand as he was pinned to the bed.

"We have planned this for a long time. Jay was clever, he made sure he had plans. His protege failed but I'm teacher. I never fail. Don't you think it was strange how that nice female doctor disappeared? I promised Jay that I would kill you. He never was the best learner in the world. So tell me Spencer, would you like me to end it all?" Dr Swann said before he leaned in towards Reid. Reid was frozen but he grunted as Dr. Swann forced him to nod.

"As you wish Spencer?"

**Well done to those who didn't trust Dr Swann! Look out for the next chapter.**

**Please review**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone. I am so happy that you like the last chapter, you all had the right to be suspicious of Dr. Swann. He is a very very bad man. **

**I am going to tell you now to avoid being shouted at. Read the bottom note after the chapter for my explanation. **

**Thank you all so much for the reviews and story adds. You are truly amazing readers and truly amazing people.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistake are my own (I have a massive headache so forgive me)**

Reid sobbed behind the mouth clamped over his mouth, he was so scared and afraid at that moment. He couldn't move from beneath the doctors grasp. Reid whimpered when the doctor climbed on top of him and pinned his wrists above his head. He could barely focus on the pain that the movement caused.

"I must admit I am impressed by your ability to survive. Most people would have died after the first attack but not you. You just kept on fighting. That is all gone now though, you are lost and it is my job to end it for you. It is my job to set you free" Dr Swann sighed before he moved the hand he had over to Reid's mouth to Reid's throat and applied just enough pressure to stop him from calling out. The doctor wanted to control Reid before he killed him.

Reid wheezed as he felt Dr. Swann apply pressure. Reid didn't know what to do. He wanted his team to help him so much but they wouldn't come in unless a call of panic came from him. He had told them to leave him alone, he regretted entering the room without someone near me.

"Shhhh...It'll be okay" Dr Swann said as he applied more pressure on Reid's throat causing Reid to let out a breathless moan. Reid began to feel his brain go fuzzy and feared what would happen if he fell unconcious. Reid moved his lips to beg but felt no words leave his lips.

"You want to say something?" Dr Swann questioned. He was about to let go of Reid's throat before he remembered to give the young man a warning.

"You call for help and I'll slice you apart piece by piece" Dr Swann warned before he let go of Reid's throat. Reid gasped and coughed as he breathed in the air. He looked at the Dr Swann above him with tears brimming in his eyes.

"P-P-Pleasssse...et..me..g-g-go" Reid sobbed and stuttered quietly.

"N-N-No" Dr Swann laughed before he yanked the pillow with his free hand from under Reid's head and held it at his side.

"I hope that in the end you think that I did the best for you. You wanted to die, I'm simply helping you along with the  
>process" Dr Swann smiled before he ripped his hand away from his Reid's wrist and grabbed the pillow. Reid tried to talk but found his effort to scream stopped as the pillow was pressed against his face.<p>

Reid screamed into the pillow as he felt himself being starved of oxygen. Reid thrashed and fought against Dr Swann as he was being smothered. A pure adrenaline rush ran through him as he fought, he was surprised at the feeling of being strong. He hadn't felt this strong for a long time. Reid tried to punch against him the doctor but he couldn't land a strong punch.

Reid felt himself losing a battle to stay awake. He was losing the battle to stay awake. Reid felt frantically around himself to try. He needed something to fight back with. Reid felt a sharp pain slice through his hand as felt the cold steel tip of a scalpel. Reid blindly grabbed the scalpel and thrust it up to where Dr. Swann was. He yanked it back out quickly.

"Little bastard!" Dr Swann yelled as he fell of Reid.

Reid gasped for air as the pillow was removed. He felt a cold and swift rush of air as the pillow was removed. Reid moaned and moved sluggishly for a moment before turned his head and saw Dr Swann holding his hand up to a wound on his chest.

"H-H-Hotch!" Reid screamed. Reid looked at the door and realised that a small pole was blocking anyone from entering the room. He could see the door moving and heard the muffled voice yells of his team behind the door.

"You are gonna die" Dr Swann yelled before he charged at Reid. Reid scrambled off the bed but found his feet failing him. Reid hit the floor and groaned when he met the cold stone floor. Reid managed to pull himself off the floor as Dr Swann came charging at him. Reid held the small knife up in the most threatening manner he could.

"S-S-tay..b-b-back" Reid sobbed as he felt the knife up. Dr. Swann let out a loud roar of laughter erupt causing Reid to panic. Dr Swann pulled out a large knife from his belt and looked at Reid with deadly intent.

"Mine is bigger than yours" the doctor laughed before he charged at Reid. Reid yelped as his body was smashed against the wall. He gripped the scalpel tight and thrust it into Dr Swanns's neck. Reid felt a feeling of victory run through him as he watched blood pour from the doctor's neck.

The feeling soon disappeared when he felt a sharp and viscious pain in his chest. Reid looked down and saw the large silver knife was now in his stomach.

"Told you...were..gonna..die" Dr Swann gurgled as blood filled his mouth. Reid barely noticed as Dr Swann fell to the floor and stayed still. He felt an odd sense of calm as put his hand to his stomach where the knife still was. He could feel the warm blood over his hands as he slumped against the wall to the ground.

He felt death approach. It felt nice, it felt better than it had the last time he had died.

**Hotch**

Hotch and two other men were trying to smash the door in. They had heard Reid scream for help followed by what sounded like a brutal attack.

"Screw the door" Morgan yelled as he picked up a stool and smashed the window, he hit the smaller pieces of glass. Hotch watched him jump through the window and followed after him at lightning speed. He looked around the room and felt his breathing hitch when he saw the slumped and bloody form of Spencer Reid against the wall. Morgan was already by Reid's side and had laid him down on the floor. Hotch's hands hovered over the knife as he was unsure of what to do.

"I need some help in here!" Hotch screamed as he look back to Reid. He felt a small leap of joy as Reid opened his eyes but did not like the sluggish look that Reid gave them.

"It is going to be okay Reid. We are getting you help. Just stay with us" Morgan urged him as he lifted Reid's head up to look at him.

"H-h-he...tacked..me. I'm..c-c-cold. W-why do I f-f-feeeeel c-c-cold?" Reid whispered. Hotch felt tears come down his face as he looked at Reid. He noticed that Reid let his eyes close and his head fell backwards.

"Reid! Reid! Reid!" Hotch screamed as he tried to get the young genius to wake up.

He put two fingers on Reid's wrist and felt himself die inside at the result.

There was no pulse.

**This is not death fic. You will have to wait till tomorrow for the next wonderful chapter. I just wanted to tell you that it not a death fic as I have been told off before for ending things this way. **

**Please review and next chapter is up tomorrow **


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone, I am sorry for the delay in posting but for some reason it wasn't allowing me to upload anything. Sorry about that. **

**Thank you all again for the reviews and adds. I am beaming with a smile at the moment and I can't thank you enough for the reviews. **

**I decided to add someone on this chapter but I would like to know your reaction to the character. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Eight hours later

Morgan watched as Garcia sat on the phone talking to someone. She quickly finished the conversation when she noticed that Morgan was watching her. Morgan could visibly see that she was upset and angry. Her hands shook causing any object in her hand to shake with them. Morgan couldn't blame her for feeling the way she was feeling. He was feeling the exact same way.

He felt betrayed and upset by his own mind. Morgan cursed himself for not seeing the signs before. He had been around Dr Swann for a large amount of time during Reid's recovery and he had never noticed any signs of him being dangerous. Morgan realised that it had been Reid's torture and emotional state that had clouded his mind. He was too busy trying to save Reid.

He knew he had failed in that task. He frowned as he remembered jumping into the room to save Reid. He couldn't forget Reid slumped against the wall with the knife in his stomach. He would always remember the sheer emotional terror that ripped through him when Hotch couldn't find a pulse. Morgan was glad that the doctors and nurses had rushed him away. They still didn't know whether he was alive or dead. Morgan hoped and prayed for Reid to be the former.

Morgan sat against the waiting room chair with his half drunken cold cup of coffee. Morgan couldn't help but feel immensely proud of Reid for fighting back the way he did. He didn't care that Reid had killed Dr Swann. He was happy about it in some strange way. Swann deserved to die in Morgan's view.

It was one thing to kill and hurt and person but to trick them into a false sense of safety made Morgan feel sick to his very core. Cuts and bruises would heal in a time but the mind was another thing. Trust was was something that could be destroyed very easily and it took an incredible amount of time to rebuild.

Morgan knew that Reid would struggle to trust anyone again. He knew that Reid would even struggle trusting those to him completely. Morgan didn't look up from his coffee cup when he heard the door open. He had done that enough hoping to see Reid's doctor walk through the door.

"Hello Garcia" the voice said. Morgan froze when he realised who's face was behind the voice. It was the voice of someone he thought to have abadoned them. A man who had abandoned Reid a long time ago. Morgan looked up to see him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Morgan growled. He started to walk towards him before Garcia ran over and push him back.

"I'm here for Reid. I'm here to help him and the team. Garcia called me" Gideon explained.

Morgan looked at Garcia surprised for a moment before he relaxed his body a fraction. Morgan noticed that Gideon looked slightly better now than when he was in the BAU.

"Why did you call him Garcia?" Morgan asked her.

"Reid will need people there to help him. He can't go through this alone and Gideon is the only one that Reid had truly ever been honest with. I know that Reid will be angry but he needs Gideon's guidance" Garcia explained to Morgan.

"How is Reid going to feel when he leaves again?" Morgan argued back. He didn't even know if Gideon's presence would even be required. They still had no word on Reid.

"I won't leave like I did last time Morgan. I'll be there till he tells me to leave" Gideon defended.

Morgan wanted to argue back but the doctor entered the room with the rest of the team in tow. They all looked shocked at the appearance of Gideon but decided to withold their questions till after the news of Reid had been spoken.

"I am happy to inform you that Spencer Reid is alive and he is now in recovery. The knife caught his liver but we were able to repair the damage. He lost a lot of blood and he is recieving blood to replace what he lost. We lost him on the table but we are able to resuscitate him. We also sutured a cut on his hand. He is resting now but you can wait in his room till he wakes up. Your friend is a fighter" the surgeon explained to them before giving them a comforting smile.

Morgan and the team smiled at the news that Reid was going to be okay. A small collection of breathes being let out could be heard around the room. The team followed the doctor to Reid's room. The doctor stopped them from entering the room for a moment.

"He is very weak at the moment. Please be quiet and I would suggest that after the group has visited that he only have two people with him. He needs his rest" the doctor half warned, half ordered them.

The team nodded in agreement.

Morgan looked at the bed and saw Reid. He saw a pale and broken Reid. Reid's hand was wrapped in a bandage while a few fresh bruises adorned his face. A small tube was under Reid's nose giving him a bit of help breathing while he was being giving hydration and blood. Morgan was creeped out at how pale Reid looked.

"I'll leave you all. Five minutes and then only two of you. Goodbye" the doctor smiled before leaving the room.

Gideon walked forward and sat in the chair next to Reid's bed. Gideon had a hard time believing that it was Reid laying in the bed. He looked so different. He looked older.

"Care to explain what you are doing here" Hotch asked Gideon with a cold edge to his voice.

"Garcia called me and told me what had happened to Reid. I'm here to help. I would have come sooner but I didn't know" Gideon quickly replied before looking back at Reid. Hotch gave her Garcia a 'we will talk about this' glare before he looked at Gideon again.

Gideon took Reid's hand but stopped to gaze at where Reid's little finger should have been.

"It's okay now Spencer" Gideon said to the sleeping form of Reid.

**Please review and next chapter will be up later today. **

**I also just want to thank you again all so much for sticking with this. I have never had such a fantastic group of readers. Thank you!**


	31. Chapter 31

**I know this chapter is a bit short but I'm in a bit of pain at the moment. Wooden doors are not meant to be walked into and I have a lovely bruise after doing just that. Whoops!**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews and I am glad you like Gideon returning. I was so nervous about bringing him into the story. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own **

Reid felt a strong stab of pain run through his stomach as he took a deep breath. Reid could hear voices around him but they sounded hushed. Reid assumed it was the team and they were whispering to not disturb him in his sleep. Reid would not tell them they had failed at that particular target. Reid licked his dry lips and tried to ignore the sandpaper feeling in his throat.

"Reid?" Someone said to him. Reid frowned at the voice. It sounded different to the voices of his team, yet it was somehow familiar.

Reid opened his eyes slightly looked straight in front of him to see Morgan. He didn't miss the smile that spread across Morgan's face when he had opened his eyes. It was a smile that screamed relief.

"Wh-Wh-" Reid tried to say before he let out a small cough at the dryness in his throat. A soft moan of pain escaped from his lips as he coughed. He remembered what had happened to him and he knew that the pain was being caused by wound in his stomach.

Reid felt a cup touch his lips. He let the water flow down his throat and soothe the raw feeling. The cup was taken away and Reid turned his head to look at the person who had been holding the cup. It was the one person he thought he would never see again.

"G-G-G..ideon?" Reid said in disbelief. Reid looked at Gideon and tried to make sense of what was happening. Gideon had left him and the team, he had disappeared leaving Reid empty and alone.

"Hello Spencer" Gideon smiled at him gently. Reid tried to talk but he struggled to form the words he wanted to say. He couldn't understand why Gideon was here with him.

Gideon noticed the look on Reid's face and he couldn't blame Reid for looking at him like he was a stranger. Gideon had enjoyed the last few years away from the BAU. He had been away from the blood and horror that came with being a profiler. He still had nightmares of Sarah being killed. He had also had nightmares revolving around Reid. His failure to prevent Reid being hurt by Tobias Hankel still haunted him to this day. He would never forget seeing Reid seizing the cabin floor and becoming still.

"I know I haven't been around for a long time but I'm here now. Garcia found me and told me what had happened to you. I'm here to help" Gideon explained to Reid before he moved to take Reid's hand.

Reid saw the movement and ripped his hand away before Gideon could touch him. Reid felt anger rise inside him as he looked at Gideon. He was looking at a man who had left him alone when he needed him the most.

'_Stop being angry, you understand why he left_' Reid thought suddenly.

Reid frowned as he tried to recall his grieving session with Hotch after Emily had been killed. He realised that it was then he had realised why Gideon had left.

Being a profiler was not easy. It was hard and exposed a person to the vicious horrors in the world. Being a profiler exposed him to what people were capable off.

He looked back at Gideon and noticed that Gideon had withdrew his hand.

"He clearly doesn't want you here. We managed the last few years without you. Why don't you just leave?" Morgan snapped at Gideon causing Reid to look between the two men.

"Noooooo..." Reid moaned. Reid had questions that he wanted answering. They were questions that only Gideon could answer for him.

"Reid? Are you okay? Are you in pain?" Morgan panicked as he saw Reid's distressed state. Reid shook his head gently before he looked over to Gideon.

"I-I..ave..q-quest-ons," Reid said "I-I..w-w-want..yoooou..to..ay."

"I'll stay, I'm not going anywhere," Gideon smiled at him. Morgan looked at the interaction between the two and knew that Reid still had a deep sense of trust with Gideon. It seemed that Reid had been keeping it hidden for a long time.

"S-s-wann?" Reid said with fear making his voice quiver.

"He's dead. He died from the stab wound in his neck," Morgan assured. Morgan knew that he had made a mistake in telling Reid that Swann had died when he saw Reid start to cry.

"I'm...a..urderer. I-I..Killllled..im," Reid started to cry hysterically. He began to take short and painful breaths. Morgan  
>and Gideon both rushed to Reid's side to comfort him.<p>

"Spencer, look at me. You did nothing wrong. He tried to kill you and he would have succeeded if you had not defended yourself. You did nothing wrong wrong. Calm down...shhh," Gideon calmly told him before he put a hand on Reid's shoulder.

"I-I-I'mmm..orry," Reid said to Morgan with tears still running down his cheeks.

"Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for," Morgan questioned as he was confused by Reid's sudden apology.

"I-I...t-t-treat-ed..you..ike..cr-crap. I-I-I...d-didn't..m-mean to be..uch a idiot. Ple-ease...f-f-forgiiive me," Reid  
>sobbed before bowing his head in shame.<p>

Reid just want to be forgiven. He just wanted his sins to be forgiven.

He just hoped that Morgan and the team would forgive him.

**Next chapter up tomorrow. Please review.**

**Thank you all again for the review. Love you all!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey everyone. Again I am sorry for the short chapter but I am on a roll right now writing some of my own personal writing and I am focusing on that today. **

**I wanted to give you a small chapter anyway. I hope this is okay. Thank you all so much for helping me hit 300 reviews. I literally screamed woo-hoo out loud. Thank all again for your reviews.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid continued to cry against and Gideon felt his heart break at the sight of seeing Reid's tears pour down his cheeks. Gideon sat on the edge of the bed, he ignored the angry look from Morgan. Gideon hesitated for a moment before he leaned down and wrapped his arms around Reid in a hug. Reid returned the hug immediately and began to cry harder and harder into Gideon's shirt.

"Shhhh...it's over. You are safe now" Gideon soothed as he held Reid. Morgan looked at the two and felt a mix of jealousy and happiness. He was surprised by the feeling of happiness but he was happy that Reid was finally letting everything out and talking to them. Morgan knew that the team had been struggling to get through to Reid and to manage themselves around Reid.

The jealousy wasn't unexpected to Morgan. He knew why he felt that way. He had been caring for Reid and trying to help him since his accident. All of a sudden Gideon was Reid's new saviour. Morgan felt immense anger towards Gideon but he was keeping it locked away.

He would let it out away from Reid. He knew that there were words that needed to be spoken.

"I-I-I...d-d-on't...w-want...t-t-to..beee...eak" Reid sobbed as he let out the pure pressured emotion inside himself.

"You are not weak. You are stronger than us and you already know that. You just have to realise that you are strong. You have survived so much, so much more than some of us could have handled. You are strong Reid. You can't let any of this beat you" Gideon said as he pulled away from the hug slightly and looked into Reid's watery, puffy and red eyes. Reid looked back and Gideon as he struggled to control his shaking body and hands.

"I-I-I..ready...ave. I-I'mmm...not...me..any...more. I-I'mmm...ot..s-s-spec-ial..anymmmmore" Reid tried to say, his voice laced with pain and shame.

"You have always been special Reid. You are still the same person you have always been. You have been hurt, when someone is hurt it takes time for them to return to a state of being well. You will return to that point, it will just take time" Gideon told Reid.

Gideon was trying to get Reid to understand that he could beat the problems currently plaguing him. Gideon had no doubt that Reid could push past the barriers of hurt and pain. He had seen Reid survive the brutal abuse of Tobias Hankel, he had watched Reid beat his drug addiction. He had even seen Reid negotiate with gunmen on a train.

"I-I-I'm..ssss-trugg..ling" Reid told Gideon truthfully.

Gideon heard the words echo in his memories. He recognised the words as the same one Reid had said to him back in New York when he had been battling his drug addiction.

"You don't need to struggle. We are here for you every step of the way" Gideon smiled at him.

Reid took a long and deep shaky breath in.

"Y-Y-You'llll...eave..a-again" Reid said quietly before he put his hand to his stomach where he had been stabbed.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay" Gideon promised Reid before he noticed that Reid winced and had moved his hand to his stomach. Morgan noticed the action aswell.

"Reid? What's wrong?" Morgan asked before he helped Reid lay against the pillow again.

"J-Jus...urts" Reid said through gritted teeth.

"I'll get the doctor" Gideon said before he left the room to get a doctor.

Reid scrunched his blanket inside his uninjured hand. A doctor came into the room and causing Reid to stiffen and freeze with fear. He didn't like that the doctor was male. Dr. Swann had been someone he had trusted. That trust had turned out to be a gateway to him almost dying.

"Hello Spencer" the doctor smiled before he put his hand in his jacket to pull out his light. Reid didn't give him the  
>chance.<p>

"Gettt...way. W-W-Want..a..iffe-rent..octor" Reid growled at the doctor. The doctor looked at him with confusion written across his face.

"I just need to examine your injuries Spencer. I'm not going to hurt you" the doctor tried to tell Reid.

"N-Nooooo!" Reid screamed at him.

"You heard him doc! He wants a different doctor" Morgan told the doctor. Morgan turned to Reid and looked at him.

"Reid, what kind of doctor do you want?" Morgan asked Reid.

"A-A-A..w-w-woman" Reid told Morgan with a plea lacing his voice. Morgan turned to the doctor.

"You heard him, he wants a woman doctor. I suggest you go and get him a new doctor now" Morgan ordered the doctor. The doctor gave them one last look before he left the room to get a new doctor.

"T-T-Thhhanks..organ" Reid smiled at Morgan.

"Anytime kid" Morgan laughed softly.

**Next chapter up tomorrow and I have an early work day so I promise you all a nice long chapter.**

**Please review**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey everyone, feel free to hate me. I know I promised a long chapter but today has been crazy busy and then I got all upset. I decided to calm down before writing as my writing is really bad when I'm angry. Sorry ( makes puss in boot forgive me eyes.)**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter**

**All mistakes are my own.**

**Enjoy and please review**

Reid relaxed when a young women with red hair came into the room. She gave him a comforting smile before picking up his clipboard and glancing at it.

"Hello Spencer, my name is Dr Song. I'll be attending all your medical needs from now on. I need to speak with you about personal matters. Would you like your friends to stay?" Dr Song asked as she walked to Reid's side and gave him a comforting smile.

"S-s-stay," Reid told her before letting out a small gasp when he tried to move. Reid gripped his blanket tighter as the pain travelled through him.

"Can you tell me where it hurts Spencer?" Dr Song asked as her professional mask slipped into place.

"M-M-My..to..mach..urts," Reid told her.

"I need to pull your gown down and check the wounds. Are you comfortable with me doing that?" she asked gently as she wanted to try and make her patient feel calm and comfortable. Reid nodded his permission and allowed Dr Song to untie his gown and pull it down to his waist.

Gideon winced slightly when he saw Reid's body. A mix of faded and new bruises could be seen. The one thing that caught Gideon's eyes the most were the small bandages covering Reid's stomach along with the large bandage that covered Reid's stab wound. Gideon hated to think how scared Reid had been when he had been kidnapped and attacked. He hated that it had happened to Reid again. Reid was the kind of person that could bring great skill and a strong sense of good to someone's life. Gideon couldn't understand why the world kept trying to destroy the good inside Reid.

Reid didn't deserve it in his view.

Gideon watched her Dr Song lifted the large bandage carefully and check the stab wound. She looked at the wound. Gideon peeked a look and saw the large angry cut. It looked fine but he knew it must have hurt him to move his stomach. Dr Song replaced the bandage and turned to Reid.

"Your stab wound looks a bit sore and I want you to stay as still as possible to avoid irritating it. I'm going to increase your pain medication. Is that alright?" Dr Song told Reid.

"T-that'sss..f-fine," Reid told her, a hint of relief in his voice. Gideon and Morgan both looked at Reid, they were both  
>equally surprised at Reid not rejecting pain medication. They were both happy that he had accepted it on the fact that Reid without the pain medication would have been horrible to watch.<p>

"I've arranged for a speech therapist to come and see you tomorrow so we can help you speak better. Are you up for that?" She smiled as she lifted the gown back up and tied it back up.

"I-I'mmmm..up..for..that," Reid smiled. He liked the thought of finally getting his speech to a better point. Reid watched as Dr Song let out a small smile. He liked his new doctor, she seemed kind. He didn't trust her completely but he felt comfortable enough around her to let her help him.

"That is great. Reading your notes it has been noted that you have been experiencing some mood swings and memory loss. I want you to speak with a therapist, this will help you," Dr Song said to Reid gently before she looked at Reid's heart monitor and made a small note.

"I-I-I..on't...kn-know. I-I..w-willl..ink..bout..it," Reid replied before looking down at his hands again.

"I'm going to increase you medication and let you get some rest. I'll see you later. The nurse will come in and change the dosage in a few minutes," she smiled before she placed Reid's chart at the end of the bed. She gave Gideon and Morgan a small nod before leaving the room.

Morgan looked at Reid. He hated to ask the question but he needed to ask it.

"Reid. Are you sure you are alright with the doctor giving you pain medication?" Morgan asked as he sat back down in his chair.

Reid looked confused at the question causing Morgan to worry even further.

"I-I-I'mmm...urt-ing. W-whyyy...would-d...it..be...aaaa..prob-blemmm?" Reid asked Morgan.

"Well because-" Morgan began to say before Gideon jumped in quickly.

"It wouldn't be a problem, would it Morgan?" Gideon cut in. Morgan flashed an angry glance at him. The nurse walked in and gave the two men a small kind smile. She walked over to the Reid's drip and injected something into it.

"Get some rest," the nurse told Reid after she had injected the medication. She left the room shortly after leaving the three men alone again.

Morgan and Gideon watched Reid's eyes flutter before they shut completely. Reid let his body relax into the bed and let his mind fall into the peaceful slumber. Morgan waited until he was sure Reid was asleep till he spoke up.

"What the hell Gideon?" Morgan said angrily. Gideon kept his face calm and collected though.

"I don't think he remembers being drugged."

**Okay so I am pretty sure I haven't mentioned Reid thinking about his addiction. Please point it out if I have though. **

**Please review and new chapter up tomorrow**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey everyone. Firstly, thank you all for the reviews and adds. You are all amazing! You are the best readers ever. **

**Well done to everyone who spotted Reid's doctor's name. She is named after River song from Doctor Who I'm a fan and like her name so I put it in there. Enjoy and I hope some reviewers will happy with her first name. **

**Enjoy and please review.**

**All mistakes are my own.**

"He has been having trouble with his memory. He can't remember Henry or parts of his kidnapping. Do you really think that he doesn't remember Tobias or being drugged?" Morgan asked Gideon, the anger inside of him dying down at the news that Reid may not remember his drug addiction.

"I hope he has forgotten it. He doesn't need to be cursed with those memories," Gideon said honestly.

Morgan had to admit the idea of Reid not remembering his addiction was nice. It was perhaps one of only good things to come out of all Reid's suffering. Reid had been beaten, cut and suffocated over the last month. Reid didn't need the fear of getting addicted again. Morgan looked at Reid and couldn't help but feel protective of the man. Morgan always imagined Reid as his little brother sometimes, he knew that they acted like brothers sometimes.

Morgan smiled at the memory of Reid's prank retaliation. He remembered the defiant nature of the battle as they both refused to surrender no matter how bad the pranks got.

"Now that he is asleep we can finally talk. I know you had your reasons for leaving but the way you did it, seriously?" Morgan said stoically, he kept calm for fear of disturbing Reid.

"I will admit that the way I said goodbye to Reid was cowardly but I don't regret leaving. I needed to leave, it was the only way that I could stop everything spinning out of control. I'll be honest and tell you that if I had not left, you would have probably found my body instead of a note," Gideon said to Morgan before looking back to Reid.

"So you were having thoughts of suicide then?" Morgan questioned, he still didn't give Gideon any sympathy. He still thought Gideon should have said goodbye to Reid the proper way. He should have done it face to face.

"After Sarah was killed it crossed my mind. I left so I could find something good. I found that leaving the BAU was a good thing to do. I wasn't looking over my shoulder for the next unsub to attack. I had finally found some peace and calm. I know that you hate me for leaving Reid the way I did. I know his father left him when he was young. I knew that he was strong enough to get through me leaving. He is strong," Gideon explained to Morgan.

"Gideon, you have no idea what he has gone through over the years. He struggled with you leaving and he still does. He watched a kid get murdered in front of him, he had to relive memories of the torment he went through in school. He was held hostage, he confronted his father and found out that some sick bastard had targeted him as child. His mother saved him in the end. He tried to bring a young boy back after an alternate personality took over, he was still trying to get Adam back before he was attacked" Morgan said angrily, he was about to continue when Gideon tried to stop him.

"Morgan, stop," Gideon asked, he was started to feel uncomfortable hearing what Reid had been through.

"No! You are going to sit there and listen. He almost die when he contracted Anthrax, I sat with him while he recovered. He got shot in the leg protecting a man and suffered through the pain for months. He has suffered with headaches for a while, he struggled a lot after we thought Emily was dead. I'll explain later. He was almost stabbed by a schizophrenic unsub. So tell me Gideon, why did you not leave anyway for him to contact you? Why did you leave when he needed you the most?" Morgan said angrily before he relaxed himself back into the chair.

Gideon sat silent for a moment as he digested everything he has been told. He had no idea that Reid had been through so much in the few years that he had been gone. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"I didn't want him focusing on trying to find me or trying to talk me out of leaving. I know he would have convinced me to stay. I couldn't give him the chance. Reid needed to live his life," Gideon tried to tell Morgan. He knew that the words were true but he also knew that Reid might have done better if he had stayed and helped him.

"He has lived through years of pain and he is probably never going to be the same. Face it Gideon, you left and you destroyed part of him. He may not realise it now but you are going to leave," Morgan said to Gideon.

"I'm not going to leave his side. He is like a son to me, I am going to stay with him as long as he needs me," Gideon defended himself.

"Let's hope that he doesn't need you for too long," Morgan snapped before getting out of his chair and storming out of the room.

Gideon turned to Reid and looked at Reid properly for the first time properly. Reid looked broken. Gideon wondered if he had done the right or wrong thing by leaving.

**Outside the room**

Morgan leaned against the wall and sighed. He felt better after letting out everything but he felt so drained. Gideon was an issue in his mind, an issue he hoped would go away soon. Morgan spotted Reid's doctor and wandered over, he wanted to speak with her about Reid's memory.

"Dr Song?" Morgan said. He smiled slightly when the young women turned around to look at him.

"Hello again. Is there something that you need?" she asked sweetly before signing a chart and placing it in a rack.

"Dr Song? I-" Morgan began to say before he was cut off.

"Please call me River. Spencer is going to be here for a while and I would prefer that you call me by my first name," she laughed gently.

"River?" Morgan smiled "I don't know if you had been told but Reid used to have a drug problem but after what I witnessed in the room, I don't think he remembers. Is that normal?"

"I think that in Spencer's case, his memory loss may be slightly selective. His mind is choosing to block out normal memories but I think it has focused on blocking traumatic memories that he may have. I've seen it before but it is extremely rare for it too happen. Has he been through much trauma before?" River asked as she leaned against the counter.

"He has been through a lot over the last few years. He was kidnapped a few years ago, he was beaten, tortured and drugged. I don't think he even remembers that now," Morgan explained.

"I'm going to have to speak with him further and see how much he doesn't remember to get a clear idea. I'll speak to him after he has had some rest," River told Morgan.

"Is there a risk he could remember everything?" Morgan asked.

"I'm not going to push him. I will be gentle and make sure that he doesn't focus on anything that could bring any traumatic memories to the surface. I want to also tell you that I am sorry for Dr Swann. None of the staff had any idea he was capable of such brutality. I am so sorry and I want to assure you that I am going to take good care of Spencer," Dr River Song said to Morgan with a kindness intertwined in her voice.

"Thank you, lets just focus on Spencer getting better," Morgan said to her.

"I'll check on him in a few hours but feel free to call the nurses if he starts having any trouble. I'll see you later," Dr  
>Song smiled. Morgan gave her a small nod that he understood and watched as she walked down the corridor.<p>

**A few hours later**

Hotch was watching Reid sleep. He had sent Morgan home to get some sleep, it was clear to see that Morgan was struggling to keep his eyes open. The rest of the team were all resting before they had to go back to work tomorrow, Hotch was only able to stay for a few hours but he needed to see Reid. Reid was an important member of his family, it hurt him to see Reid so hurt. Gideon had refused to leave and as a result was now sleeping in what Hotch knew was an uncomfortable chair. Hotch had spoken to Morgan.

Hotch also wished that Reid didn't remember the traumatic moments in his life. Hotch wished he could forget when he was attacked. It still caused him to have nightmares even now. He was prepared to do anything he could to make sure that Reid didn't ever remember being drugged.

"W-W-Whas..oing..on?" Reid moaned as he started to wake up. Hotch watched as Reid tried to focus on his surroundings. Hotch couldn't help the smile on his face as he watched Reid. Reid blinked a few times before he looked at Hotch.

"Hey Reid, how are you feeling?" Hotch asked as he scooted foward.

"N-N-Nooooo...p-p-pain," Reid smiled before he turned to look at Gideon slumped in the chair.

"It's good that you have no pain. The haze should pass in a minute, it was the medication they gave you," Hotch explained to Reid as he watched him staring at Gideon.

"H-H-He...ooks..unny," Reid laughed before he rested his head back into his pillow.

"Are you alright Reid?" Hotch asked as he noticed Reid giggling every now and then.

"I-I-Immmm..s-superrr..duper," Reid smiled before putting up his thumbs in front of him.

Hotch couldn't help the small laugh that escaped his mouth as he watched Reid. He made a mental note to tell them to keep an eye on Reid.

Hotch also noticed that Reid was smiling properly for the first time in a long time.

**Please review and look out for new chapter tomorrow and I have the next two days free so looks out for lots of updates. **


	35. Chapter 35

**Hey everyone. Thank you again for all your reviews and adds. You are all amazing and fantastic. **

**Okay, I am going to tell you now that there are going to be five more chapters to this story and that's it. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia had a slight difficulty holding on the gifts for Reid in her arms as she made her way down the corridor and to Reid's room. Garcia knew that Hotch had told everyone to get some rest but she needed to see Spencer. She needed to know that he was doing better. She had practically emptied the gift shop. Garcia turned the corner and felt relief as she finally reached Reid's room. She realised that she had no way of opening the door.

"I'll get the door," a women's voice laughed slightly. Garcia turned around to see a young women with red hair walk over.

"Thank you," Garcia smiled as she watched the young women open the door. The young women entered first and held the door open for Garcia. Garcia walked in and was immediately greeted by Hotch as he rushed over to help her with the items in her arms.

"I can guess where you have been," Hotch smiled as he took the balloons and a few bears from her hands. He placed them next to a grinning and happy Reid. Garcia was slightly startled by Reid's happy smile, she loved seeing it though. She had not seen him smile that for a long time. She looked over to Gideon and noticed he was stretching. She hope that she had not woken him up.

"P-P-Pene-lopeeeee!" Reid giggled happily. Garcia let out a small giggle as she heard her name said in such a tone.

"Hey Reid. Why is he so happy?" Garcia asked Hotch. Hotch was about answer when Garcia heard the young women speak.

"He has been given a very strong pain medication. It can cause behaviour like this, it seems though that it has taken his mind off the pain," the young women explained. Garcia was about to ask who the woman was but Hotch jumped into the conversation.

"Garcia, this is Reid's doctor. Her name Dr River Song," Hotch introduced. Garcia turned around to face Dr River Song and gave her a small smile before holding out her hand.

"I'm Penelope Garcia, everyone calls me Garcia though," Garcia said. River Song took Garcia's hand and shook it gently.

"It is nice to meet you," she smiled kindly before she turned her attention to Reid.

"Hello Spencer, do you remember me?" she said as sat on the edge of the bed. Reid looked at her and smiled at her. Hotch, Gideon and Garcia all stood back to allow the two to talk. Hotch still maintained a strong stance though, a part of him still did not trust the doctors in the hospital.

"D-Dr...Song. Ano..ther...word..for..s-s-song..is..mel..ody. Gre-ek...w-w-ord..forrr...mu-sic or Song.  
>F-F-irst..used..in..thirtee-th..entury," Reid rattled off slowly causing Garcia to let out a small noise before putting her<br>hand over her heart.

Hotch knew why Garcia had reacted that way, he had also been surprised and happy at what Reid had just said. It was a part of the old Reid returning and it made them smile to hear the fact come from him. Hotch had waited to hear a single statistic or fact from Reid.

"That's right. How are you feeling?" River asked Reid as she turned away from Garcia's reaction.

"N-No...p-p-pain. Feeeel..r-r-realllly..appy," Reid told her before his gaze moved to the balloons. River Song noticed that he was trying to hide something.

"That is very good. I've arranged for a your first speech appointment to be tomorrow. I want to speak with you about your memory. I need to ask you if you remember anything bad, do you remember anything that scares you or hurts to think about?" River Song asked as she watched Reid digest the question.

She watched as Reid turned his head away from her slightly. He bit his lip slightly as he tried to remember things. Hotch noticed that Reid was beginning to become more aware of his surroundings.

"What is it Spencer?" River asked as she noticed Reid's eyes tear up slightly.

"I...member..man..in..t-t-the..w-white..ask. I..r-r-remem-ber..every-ting," Reid said quietly before he looked up at Hotch with tear edged eyes.

"You remember? Why didn't you tell us?" Hotch asked as he tried to surpass the shock inside of him. Reid had seemed so much better. Hotch wondered how Reid had managed to hide himself from them.

"I-I-I..mem-ber..w-w-what...heee..did...tooo..me. Didn't..ell..you. I-I-I..didn't...wannnnt..to..ook..eak.  
>I...cannnn...andle..it," Reid cried as he put his head into his hands. River Song looked at young man and couldn't imagine what he had been through.<p>

"Reid, I'm so sorry. We didn't want you to remember," Garcia said tearfully before she sat on the other side of the bed closer to Reid. Reid leaned into her and Garcia hugged him gently.

"I-I-I...cannnn...get...t-t-through..is. Willlll...you...elp..me?" Reid sobbed gently before he looked up at Garcia's face.

"We will help you. We will always help you," Garcia smiled gently at him before she wiped the tears from his face. Reid gave her a sad smile back before he rested back into his pillow.

"We can also offer you counselling Spencer if you need it. I need to ask you if you remember anything else bad," River asked as she took Reid's hand and gave it a small comforting squeeze. Reid tensed for a second before he relaxed again.

"I..member...t-t-tiny...frag-mentsss. I-I-I..r-r-rememberrr..eing..shot and...me and...Emilyyyy...being..eld..ostage. I  
>don't-t-t knowww...if..I should..member more," Reid told her honestly.<p>

"We'll see if your memory improves but for now I want you to focus on getting better. I want you to try hard in your speech therapy and I suggest that you stay in bed and watch plenty of television for a while," River song ordered him before letting out another kind smile to Reid.

"Willll...do," Reid smiled back at her. River song left the room to let Reid have some time with his friends.

"Reid-" Hotch began to ask before Reid stopped him.

"I...jus..w-w-want...to..ave..s-some..t-t-time...awayyy..fromm..the bad..emories," Reid blurted out before he took a deep breath in and looked back at Hotch.

Hotch liked the fact that Reid had stopped him. It showed him that Reid was gaining some confidence back. It showed him that Reid was getting stronger.

**Hope that was okay. Two chapters up tomorrow as I have no work. Please review**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hey everyone, I am going to apologise now for my lack of updates today and how short this chapter is. I have had an awful day and have literally just had a chance to sit down now. I am so sorry. **

**Little warning - I have time jumped a little bit. **

**Enjoy the chapter and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**The next day**

Gideon was the only one with Reid in the morning. The rest of the team had been called for a case, it required them all to be there even thought they all wanted nothing more than to be with Reid as he recovered. Morgan had tried to argue his reasons to stay but Reid had told him to go. Reid knew that team still had to catch people like the one that had hurt him.

Gideon was happy that he was alone with Reid. It was the first time he had been left alone with Reid since he had returned. He smiled gently as he watched Reid sleep. Reid had had some nightmares through the night but Gideon had been there to help him. Gideon felt proud of Reid. He didn't cry when he woke up, he simply needed to take a few deep breaths and talk about what he had dreamt about.

**Reid**

Reid awoke to find himself staring the same ceiling he had awoken to see two times before. Reid was slightly confused at his last dream. It was different from the others. The dream had been nice and comforting, part of him recognised the dream but the majority part of his mind told him the memory was new. It was unknown.

"Good morning Reid, are you okay?" Gideon asked as he looked up from his book. Reid glanced at the book and tried to see the title of the book. Gideon noticed and lift up the book for Reid to see. Reid smiled slightly when he saw the title of the book. It was one that he was familiar with.

"G-G-Greattt...expect..ationsss" Reid said before he let out a small yawn. Reid felt pain but he didn't mind it too much. It was real and made him more aware of his surroundings. It made Reid feel a bit more human everytime he felt the pain.

"Garcia dropped off some books before she went to the BAU. I borrowed one, I hope you don't mind" Gideon said as he saved his page with a bookmark.

"I-I-I..on't mind" Reid assured Gideon. Gideon was about to speak with Reid but a small tapping knock came at the door.

"Come in" Gideon said loudly. The door opened and Dr River Song walked in with another female. Reid relaxed when he realised the second person was another women. He still didn't feel comfortable with male doctors. Reid let his hand fall to his stomach as a memory as a memory flashed in front of his mind. He remembered being pinned to the bed and Dr Swann's hand over his mouth. Reid shook the memory away and noticed that Dr River Song, Gideon and the new doctor were looking at him.

"Are you alright Spencer?" River Song asked as she checked the monitors connected to Reid.

"F-F-Finee. B-Baddd..emory" Reid smiled sadly at her before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath in.

Dr Song nodded her head but didn't press the issue any further.

"This is Dr Smith, she is a speech therapist and she is here to help you improve your speech. Are you ready to get started?" Dr Song asked as she introduced Dr Smith.

"I'mmmmmm...eadyyy" Reid said nervously. Reid meant what he said, he was ready to get better. He was ready to stop feeling scared all the time.

**A month and half later**

Reid sat nervously on his couch as he waited. He had not been this nervous for a long time. Reid wondered where the last few months had gone. The weeks had passed in a blur. He was feeling better as he thought about the future. It had been three weeks since he had returned to his apartment. He had only been alone in the apartment for about a week now. Garcia had refused to let him move back home unless she could stay with him for a while.

Reid smiled as he thought at how much his speech had improved. All he had to remember was to stay calm he talked and think about what he said before he said it. His speech was still not what it used to be but it was almost back to normal.

Reid jumped slightly when he a small knock came at the door. He pushed himself up and ignored the soreness that ran through his body. He had a few problems still with his body but Dr River Song had assured him they would get better. Reid walked over to his door and went to open it with his hand. Reid stopped when he saw that his hand only had four fingers.

Reid had to admit that he was still disturbed by having no finger. He knew that cuts and bruises would heal, he knew that he could improve his speech. He could never get over the fact that had he had had something so personal taken from you. Reid switched hands and opened the door. He smiled when he saw who was behind it.

"Hey m-mum."

**Hope that was okay. More to come tomorrow.**

**Please review and I am sorry again for not updating properly. **


	37. Chapter 37

**Hey everyone, thank you all for the lovely reviews. You are all absolutely brilliant.**

**I have two choices for you all. I want to let you choose the end as you have all been with this story since I started to writing it. **

**Choice 1 - Reid returns to be a BAU agent although stays out of the field until he is ready.**

**Choice 2- Reid doesn't return to the BAU and instead chooses to teach future profilers at the academy.**

**I would love to know which one you all want as the ending. Feel free to throw in any other suggestion although I would please ask that they are sensible ones. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own (I'm human and I have a headache.)**

Reid let his mother into his apartment without hesitation. He smiled at Morgan who had been the one to drop his mom. Morgan left the two alone but told Reid to call him if any problems arose. Reid assured Morgan he could handle it.

Reid walked into his apartment to find his mother staring at his book collection, she smiled slightly as she traced his  
>collection of 15th century literature. Reid felt happy as he saw the smile. His mother was lucid at the moment, he hoped it lasted a long time. He needed to spend some time with her.<p>

"How h-h-have you been mum?" Reid said as he stared at Diana. Diana turned round to look at her son for the first time in a long time. The first thing she noticed was his hand. Reid noticed what she was looking at and instantly hid his disfigured hand behind his back.

"I've been scared Spencer, you didn't write to me for so long and then your friend told me that you had been hurt. Spencer, what happened to you?" she asked gently as she walked over and placed a motherly touch to Reid's cheek.

"We s-s-hould sit d-down" Reid said before he led his mother over to the couch and sat her down. Diana looked round the room quickly but she managed to keep herself calm. She felt the mother inside of her take over the voices. Her son needed her more than ever. She had to stay strong for Spencer.

"Spencer, tell me what happened? Your eyes tell me that something is haunting you. A mother knows when her child is scared, I can see that you are scared. Talk to me" she said before she set down her handbag. She went to take his Reid's hand but Reid pulled them and hid them.

"The r-r-eason I w-wasn't able to w-write to you w-was because I-I was taken b-by a man. H-He hurt me and did really b-bad things to m-me. I'm s-sorry I didn't wr-write to you" Reid said before he apologised. He put his head down in shame as he realised what kind of son he had been. He had failed to keep his promise to his mother, he had failed to write to her.

Reid jumped slightly when his mother grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. Reid returned the hig before he leaned his head on her shoulder. Reid felt soothed as he felt his mother stroke his hair.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You will always be the most important person in the world to me. Never apologise for something that you can't control" she told him before she pulled away from the hug.

"Now why do you keep moving your hands away from me?" she asked as she tried to hold his hands again. Reid bit his lip slightly as he decided on whether he show his mother his hand.

"T-The man w-who took me. He t-took something f-from me" Spencer said quietly before he brought his hands up onto his lap. Diana looked at them and gasped when she saw what had happened to her little boy.

Reid kept himself strong but he knew his mother was having a tough time seeing what she was seeing. She took his hands and held them tight.

"Oh my little boy, what did he do to you?" Diana cried gently as she brushed Reid's hair out of his face.

"He-He did too m-much" Reid said honestly "I don't think I can be an agent anymore. I don't know what to do."

"You do what you think is right but I want you to stay safe. What else happened sweetheart? Your eyes are showing me that you are still scared and hiding behind a secret" Diana said as she regained her previous calm.

"I-I have s-some brain d-damage. I f-f-forget t-things and p-people, I as you c-can tell have t-trouble speak-ing. I'm  
>getting b-better t-though" Reid smiled as he thought of all the progress he had made since he had started speech therapy.<p>

"You are getting better Spencer, that is wonderful. Remember this though, you are still special and you always will be" Diana smiled at Spencer as he moved her thumb in a circular motion on Reid's hand.

"Thank y-you mum" Reid smiled before he hugged his mother. Reid remembered the tough times with his mother when he had been growing up but he always remembered how it was just the two of them. He always she was there even if she didn't always remember to take her medication.

Reid knew that the one person who would always truly understand him would be Diana, his mother.

**Gideon - Two days later**

Gideon was on his way to Reid's apartment with a fold out chess board. They had played a few games of chess and Gideon was truly amazed at how much Reid had improved in the game. He knew that Reid must have been practicing. A echo in the back of his mind thought that Reid had practicing in case he ever returned. Gideon had decided to walk to the apartment, it was a lovely day and long walks were now common practise for Gideon. A practise he had come to love.

Gideon was halfway to the apartment when he noticed a young man sitting on a bench. He immediately recognised that the man was Reid. Gideon jogged to the bench as he wondered if Reid was in trouble.

"Reid, are you okay?" Gideon asked as he sat next to Reid on the bench. Reid looked at Gideon, it took Reid a moment to realise that it was Gideon.

"I'm f-fine" Reid mumbled quietly. Gideon didn't believe Reid's words at all.

"Reid, tell me what is wrong?" Gideon asked with more authority in his voice. Reid looked at the street for a moment before he looked back to Gideon.

"I-I left my apartment t-to t-take a walk, it's such a n-nice d-day and Dr S-Song told me to t-take walks" Reid told Gideon before he took a deep breath to regain the calm he had a few minutes ago.

"Did you get too tired?" Gideon asked.

"I'm f-fine. I w-walked to the park and when I-I tried to w-walk home I c-couldn't r-remember. I couldn't r-remember how t-to get home" Reid said before he ran his hands through his hair as he became more and more fustrated. Gideon put his hand on Reid's arm, Reid looked at Gideon with tired eyes.

"Come on, I was heading to your apartment anyway. I'll show you how to back. Dr Song said you would have trouble with your memory. Let's go, we can talk about it on the way back" Gideon said calmly before he helped Reid get to his feet. He picked his chessboard case up.

"T-Thanks Gideon" Reid said before he started to walk.

"Anytime" Gideon smiled back.

**Next chapter up tomorrow**

**Please review and let me know which ending (see top message)**


	38. Chapter 38

**Firstly, oh my god! I was absolutely amazed and floored by how many people reviewed the last chapter. Thank you all so much for reviewing. You are brilliant. **

**After reading the reviews a large percentage of you wanted choice one, you all wanted Reid to the BAU so much so I have made it so. **

**The next chapter will be the last chapter, just wanted to warn you all. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two months later**

Reid found himself feeling more nervous than ever as he stood in the front of the glass doors. He was nervous about what lay behind the glass doors. Reid knew that everyone was there to try and help him but he knew he also needed to prove himself again. He needed to prove to everyone that he could still be a good profiler. Reid took a deep breath before he walked into the bullpen. He looked around nervously at the other agents, he was happy that his arrival had gone unnoticed.

He walked through the bullpen and up the stairs towards Hotch's office.

Reid was so happy when Hotch told him he could come back to work. A small part of him was always going to be afraid of each unsub they had to catch but he knew that part would always be there. He had talked with Hotch, Morgan and Gideon about the prospects of him returning to the BAU. They had all encouraged him to return but only when he was ready.

Reid knew he was ready now. He knew he was ready to be a profiler again.

Reid also couldn't help but feel greatful to Hotch for the rules of his return to the BAU. He knew that Hotch was determined more than ever to keep Reid safe. Reid was happy that he wasn't going to be put into full active duty till he was fully able to handle it. He was going to be with Penelope for the next month before Hotch was going to allow him to travel with the rest of the team to cases.

He knew he could do this. He had beaten so many odds over the last few months. He was determined to beat even more.

Hotch knocked on Hotch's office. He jumped slightly when Hotch opened the door so quick.

"Hello Reid, it's great to see you back. How are you feeling?" Hotch said as he motioned for Reid to enter the his office. Reid walked in and sat down in the chair near Hotch's desk.

"I'm f-fine. I'm happy t-to be back," Reid said before he made a mental note to work on his speech that night.

"That's great. Are you ready to jump back into profiling?" Hotch asked as he took his seat behind the desk.

"Yes I am. I-I'm ready, w-was Strauss okay with me r-returning?" Reid asked as he worried about the team getting into trouble with Strauss because of him.

"She was concerned at first but you've passed all the necessary tests to return. She wants you to stick to the rules of your return and and I also want you to stick to them. Don't hesitate to take a day to rest if you need to and I want you to tell any one of the team if you are having any health problems. You will be with Garcia for a month and then I will take you on a outbound case on probationary basis. Do you agree to these terms?" Hotch explained to Reid.

"I-I agree to them. I-I-I'm just happy to be out of the a-apartment. I've f-felt a little tr-trapped for last week or s-so,"  
>Reid admitted.<p>

"Just pace yourself and I don't want you to push yourself. Garcia is waiting for you in the office, she is a bit excited to have you with her for the next month," Hotch smiled before he got out of his seat, Reid got up as well and followed Hotch out of the office. Reid looked around the room nervously again, he managed to hide his nervous feeling from Hotch.

They quickly arrived at Garcia's office. Hotch opened the door for Reid. Reid jumped slightly at what happened next.

"Welcome back," the team said happily as Reid walked into the small office. Reid let out a small laugh and smiled as Garcia walked foward and gave him a hug. Reid returned the hug before Garcia released him. Rossi walked over and gave Reid an awkward half hug. Reid quickly hugged the rest of the team.

"Welcome back Agent Reid," Garcia said happily before he pointed to a space on her desk.

"That half of the desk is all yours, you can do whatever you want to it. I hope don't mind but I moved most of your stuff in here already," Garcia smiled as she let Reid to his chair and say him down.

The rest of the team looked at him and felt immensely proud of Reid. They had watched his memory improve although he still had trouble with a few things. His speech was still a work in progress and had now been reduced to a stutter. They all noticed that the stutter got worse when he became angry, nervous or upset. They had seen him get angry on a few occasions but he had thought through the bad times and had now entered the good times.

"T-thank Garcy," Reid said before he suddenly realised what he had said.

"I-I'm s-sorry, I m-meant to call you-" Reid panicked before Garcia put her hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"Reid, it's fine. You can call me what ever you want," Garcia laughed gently.

"Except babygirl, I'm the only one that gets to call her that," Morgan smiled at them both.

"Okay everyone, we all have work to do and I think that Reid would like to get used to his new surroundings," Hotch told the rest of the team as he noticed that Reid was starting to look a little overwhelmed.

The team all said goodbye to Reid and each of them told him to come and find them if he needed help. Garcia assured everyone that she was going to be there to help him.

"Take it easy Reid," Hotch ordered Reid before giving Garcia a small nod, Garcia returned the nod and watched as Hotch left her office. She turned to Reid and noticed a confused look on his face.

"What is it Reid?" Garcia asked.

"What was the small nod for?" Reid asked, he knew that a nod had many behavioural meanings but he didn't want to guess this time. He wanted to know what it was for.

"That nod was a 'look after him no matter what' nod," Garcia told him. Reid nodded as he understood why the team was being protective of him.

"So are you ready to jump back in?" Garcia asked as she switch on all her computers and monitors. Reid turned his computer on and looked back her.

"I'm ready," Reid said confidently.

**The last chapter will be posted tomorrow *sad face***

**Please review**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey everyone, thank you all so much for all your reviews and story adds throughout this story. You have been the most amazing readers ever and I am so thankful for every review. I am so nervous about putting this chapter up as I hope it meets expectations and I don't want to disappoint you all. I have loved writing this and I have loved having you all as readers. Thank you.**

**Enjoy this chapter and please review.**

**All mistakes are my own. Enjoy**

**One month later**

Reid was sat on the jet, he was slightly nervous about leaving but he didn't want Hotch to know. He had spent the last month consulting on cases with the team via webcam and consulting on other cases for other police departments. He was incredibly nervous the first time he gave a profile. He remembered stuttering slightly as he gave his part of the profile via a webcam but Hotch agreed with his observations. Reid had been more confident since then. He had been studying the case they were flying out to with since he had sat down. He didn't want to look stupid in front of the team.

The team had been called out so quickly due to the fact the unsub had taken a child after killing the last victim.

Reid had to admit that he was missing spending time with Garcia. She had been so kind to him and he had really enjoyed working with her. He had been told that they had once worked together before when he had been shot. He didn't remember ever working with her in the office after he had been shot. He hated the gaps in his memory but the team had helped him come to terms with his memory problems.

He knew that he would, or at least he hoped he would, remember them in time. A voice suddenly brought Reid away from his thoughts.

"We are ready to discuss the case" JJ said to Reid. Reid walked over to the group and hoped that his mind did not fail him. He needed to let the team know he was okay. He needed to let them know he could be an agent again.

**Two hours later**

Reid yawned slightly as he walked into the police station, he felt a little weak and tired. He cursed himself for not eating anything that day. He knew that he had two choices. He could tell the team how he was feeling or he could wait till the team sat down for some food. Reid knew that wasn't going to happen for a while. Reid felt fustrated at himself. He was here with the team to catch an unsub. He shouldn't be worrying about his hunger.

Reid had pitched in different ideas with the unsub on the jet. He knew judging by the messages left carved into each victim the man was probably suffering from a mental break. Reid had not missed the looks from the team when he looked at the carvings. He felt a small phantom itch when he saw them but he managed to stay calm.

Reid smiled slightly as he remembered how confident he had become. It felt nice to be this way.

Reid set himself up and started on a geographical profile. The rest of the team started on tracking down who the unsub could be. Reid concentrated on the map in front him. The rest of the team had their jobs, this was his and he needed to get it right.

**Three hours later**

"I-I believe that t-the unsub lives i-n this area. The v-victims were dumped in different locations but I-I noticed something strange. T-The unsub is leaving the v-victims at specific points and t-the area is in the s-shape of a circle. I-I don't know if he is d-doing it conciously or subconciously but I-I can promise he is in this area," Reid explained to the team. He saw the team all look happy at his work. He was happy about that. He was also happy that they hadn't noticed how tired he felt.

"Good work Reid" Hotch said before the computer next to Reid beeped. Reid pressed enter and smiled when Garcia popped up on the screen.

"Hey Reid, how are you feeling?" Garcia asked before any of the team could ask her about her search.

"F-fine. D-do you have anything?" Reid asked her.

"I have one name for my angels. His name is Gregory Jackson, his mother has a history of mental illness and he has been given medication for some problems with his own mental health. He recently lost custody of his child after he was seen as unfit to care for him. He matches everything you gave me and his address has been sent to you. Go get him guys" Garcia said. The team all agreed that Gregory Jackson was the unsub. Rossi decided to stay back due to his injured arm that he has acquired the week before.

Reid started to walk with the team till Hotch turned around and stopped him.

"Reid, stay here with Rossi and wait till we get back" Hotch ordered before he left the room leaving slightly down.

Reid made his way to the men's bathroom. He just needed a splash of water to wake himself up. Reid walked slowly to the men's room. He checked around and was glad no one else was in there. Reid turned the tap and let the water run for a minute. He knew he needed to eat but he had been busy helping the team. Reid splashed some water in his face, he gasped slightly at how cold the water was but it soothed him. Reid turned the tap off and started to make his way to door when he felt everything become fuzzy. Reid fell to the floor as his knees gave way. He fell to the floor and groaned slightly at the impact. Reid didn't notice the door open as he started to pull himself up.

"Reid!" Rossi gasped before he bent down and helped Reid get back to his feet.

"I'm fine, I-I jus got a l-little dizzy" Reid told Rossi.

"Have you eaten today?" Rossi questioned as he noticed Reid's pale skin. Rossi sighed when he Reid shook his head to say no.

"Come on, we are going to get some food and you are going to eat it."

**An hour and half later**

Reid was eating his chinese food when the team walked in. They all looked in awe at the amount of food that had been ordered.

"Hey Rossi, why so much food?" JJ asked as she helped herself to some of the food. The rest of the team grabbed a box, they didn't care if it was slightly cold. Reid smiled as he observed everyone eating and talking. They looked like a typical family.

"Reid collapsed in the bathroom, he had forgotten to eat so I ordered in the food and he is not allowed to leave the table until he finishes at least another box" Rossi explained before eating some more noodles.

"Reid, I told you that if anything was wrong to just tell the team" Hotch sighed as he recalled telling Reid it was part of his return.

"Did you?" Reid asked confused.

"Yes I did. In future see one of the team if you are feeling tired or need something" Hotch ordered with a stern but gentle voice.

"I will" Reid smiled back.

Reid watched as the team started to relax and ease away from the stresses of the case. He was relieved to hear that the young boy had been returned to his parents. Reid realised that he was truly back at that moment. He was Dr Spencer Reid again. Reid smiled as he watched the team laugh. He had struggled for the last few months to truly believe he was back, he had wondered for the last few months if doing the good that they did was enough to overcome the evil in the world.

His team was the good force in his life. They had stayed with him even when he had wanted to die.

He knew at that moment he could get through anything now. He was Dr Spencer Reid and he was an FBI agent. He was stronger.

**I hope that was okay! Thank you all again for being such brilliant readers and reviewers. **

**I do have a sequel in my mind but I am not sure if I should do it. Please let me know if you would like me to do it. I will say that I would leave it a few days before writing it. Let me know.**

**Please review and thank you again.**


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